Did I over-React???

[Cadillac]

I know that children hurt themselves and each other. this situation just looked so particularly malicious!

I think that's why I sent them home and am having so much trouble with how I feel about it.

[Cadillac]

thanks for the feedback

[gravy_train]

I can understand why you called the parents to pick their kids up and I can also understand why the parents would be a bit upset. The thing is though - it's your home, your daycare, etc. and if you felt like it was warranted then that's all there is to it. Your clients chose you because they get your philosophy and your behaviour management procedure is a huge part of that.
It seems like you are regretting your decision and worried about what the other parents think about you - one incident isn't going to permanently damage their opinion of you. Instead of worrying about what they are thinking, why don't you just give them a quick call today and have a down-to-earth chat with them? That way you can explain that when you called them you were upset because this type of behaviour needs to be curbed now and you needed to send a strong message that it cannot happen again. Ask them to reinforce that with their children this weekend.
Let us know how it works out!

[Cadillac]

I can understand why you called the parents to pick their kids up and I can also understand why the parents would be a bit upset. The thing is though - it's your home, your daycare, etc. and if you felt like it was warranted then that's all there is to it. Your clients chose you because they get your philosophy and your behaviour management procedure is a huge part of that.
It seems like you are regretting your decision and worried about what the other parents think about you - one incident isn't going to permanently damage their opinion of you. Instead of worrying about what they are thinking, why don't you just give them a quick call today and have a down-to-earth chat with them? That way you can explain that when you called them you were upset because this type of behaviour needs to be curbed now and you needed to send a strong message that it cannot happen again. Ask them to reinforce that with their children this weekend.
Let us know how it works out!

Thanks> I did send them a quick text last night and asked for a meeting in person to discuss further (I hate the phone because you cant see the persons face) One wanted to call me at nap but I insisted that we meet in person and suggested that we do it at pick up next time the child is there (next week)

[Cadillac]

It really bugged me because someone was getting hurt in a particularly malicious way IMO. My kids really don't behave like this ever. They do push at times and steal toys and that sort of thing. hitting each other with toys or using anything as a weapon is not something I see. These two children are smart and they know exactly what they did. They knew it while they were dong it.


I've never sent a child home before. I may have over reacted on that. I can see that now. At the time I thought that these kids needed to know that if they act like that; they can't be here. Being sent home is a punishment for them that they were surprised and sad about. It also gives a message to parent that I don't screw around when it comes to safety.

I have to hold my ground with the parents. The potential of that situation being so much more serious is not lost on me. Perhaps its the potential I freaked about.

What if it was someone else's kid and I had to call them and tell them their child was beaten by a stick?
What if they chose her head instead of her legs?
What if they hit one of those great spots and broke her?

With all the DNA stuff going on, children dying in daycares (for whatever reason), I feel like my name and business are on the line and 'accidents' like this cannot happen if we expect a result in our favour. the children' decision to be malicious looks bad on ME not them. Like a few said it makes it look like I wasn't supervising when this is not the case.

There was a lot that played into this little situation it seems.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I'm sure once you and the parents discuss this, you will feel much better

Even though we will all do things differently, we need to remember it's our daycare and at the end of the day as long as we and the parents are happy than all is good.

Good luck with your meetings!

[gravy_train]

Re. extra stress because of changes to DNA and media scrutiny of home daycares :
I find myself extra stressed about the DNA stuff going on too. I think I have developed a bit of a paranoia and I find myself worrying that my neighbours will call CAS or the ministry if they here a child crying here, etc. My mind always goes to 'worst case scenario' and if I was in your position the other day with the branch thing I would have worried about that too.

[Sassygirl]

You did what you felt was right at the time.

That would have been very concerning to see one child ganged up and getting hurt and that one kid was actually smirking afterwards?

I don't think I would have called parents to come and pick up. I would however have told them at pick up what happened and that behaviour WILL not be tolerated. If it happens again dcb/g would have to go elsewhere as we don't hurt our friends in this daycare.

Just try and let it go. Its so easy to get paranoid with all this DNA stuff on the news. I am paranoid myself taking the kiddos for walks so we are sticking to my backyard. Soon as someone makes a peep we head back inside. Not a good feeling.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I'm outta the loop....what DNA stuff?

[Fun&care]

I think sending the kids home was an overreaction, but at the same time I don't blame you for being really upset. Especially when it's your own child getting ganged up on it can really set you off. And with a child being really malicious and not showing remorse...that would not go over well with me at all. I feel like I am walking on eggshells too with everything in the news lately,