Did I over-React???

[Lou]

Well, that stinks I noticed you didn't seem too bothered by it, so maybe it was for the best?

[mickyc]

I sent you a copy of my Behaviour Management Policy. Hope it helps.

[Secondtimearound]

I think natural consequences , I'm sure if you see any child getting hurt by another your going to yell !! So do it , not a freak out in your face , but I would totally be like 'hey that is not nice !! We do not hurt our friends !!!that is not ok to ........... Our hands are not for ....... And I would def do time out ! But only the right amount of time not a long time out . I would also make them say sorry and might put them at a small table with toys and not let them interact with other children for awhile . I would notify dcp at pick up with a verbal account and written account they would sign and bring back so it is documented ! I would also inform the parent of the child hurt and explain what happened and the steps taken to correct the problem. I would never 'trust' the child and would watch for any improper behaviour and jump on it , not letting anything slide but I would also praise good and friendly things the child did and reinforce it big time .
I would also in the letter notify the parent bullying is not accepted and is a reason for immediate termination. And I wouldn't have second chances ! I'm not talking about horrible things kids do to each other ie hitting , slapping, even biting we are after all looking after children !! They need to be taught these are not acceptable behaviours but they are not bullying.
So if it happened again , I would phone to pick up as this is no longer your Dayhome !!!
That is what I would do lol !!! Hope it is helpful to you !!!

[Cadillac]

ok so this time would have been a time out and off program. if he did it again then term them? . . . . . . what if the next episode is three months from now? this is where I'm stuck because these things never happen. . .

pushing and such are a daily thing (its a kids learning limits and such) but beating with a stick is definitely not an every day.



so if this happens again 4 months from now do I term?

[Secondtimearound]

Good point !!!! And very frustrating !! I think it would depend on you and your knowledge of this child ! If this is something out of left field for this child I would def document and inform parents ! Beating with a stick is pretty serious !! Is it ok if it only happens every four months ? Unacceptable behaviour is unacceptable !! Doesn't matter the time line ! Childish behaviour and discipline needs to be different from malicious behaviour . It would come back to you and how you judge the situation .

[mickyc]

Here is the thing - kids will be mean. It will happen. I feel like as a daycare provider it is up to me to discipline and take care of the child's behaviour while the child is here. I would never call a parent to pick a child up. The parent and I would have a good long talk about how it isn't acceptable behaviour and I would hope they would reinforce those teachings at home but that is something that can never be enforced. Some parents care some don't.

You said yourself that this group is normally a good group. You also wondered what happens if it happens again 4 months from now. Nothing happens 4 months from now. You discipline the child while in your home and tell the parents when they pickup and hope they talk to the child at home. The only way I would terminate is if this is constant behaviour and if you are not having any help from the parents.

I have never terminated for any reason (yet). I have had kids who hit, throw toys, bite, pinch etc. I deal with the behaviour here, that is my job. Parents have all been on board and the behaviour eventually gets better.

It wasn't right what the kids did but I don't think it was a reason for them to be sent home.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I agree with Mickyc.

I don't think it's fair to term, especially after only 2 incidents. I totally understand that we have to protect our whole group but how is the child going to learn if the dcp's just keep terming him. It will take a patient dcp and parents to be on board to help this child learn appropriate behaviour.

Going from dc to dc is not going to help IMO.

[Cassandra2013]

I would find out why they put the branch on the other child and go from there. I would encourage them to say sorry and explain we can't hurt our friends and I would show them the marks on the child. The consequence depends on their reason as to why they did it. I would fill out an incident and injury report and speak to parents at pick up. I do think it was an over reaction but I think it's great that you are reflecting on ur practice and learning from errors so they will not happen again.

[playfelt]

Going forward there should still be some consequences at your house to reinforce that what was done was wrong. They bullying aspect - especially the two ganging up on another needs to be addressed. For sure they will no longer be allowed to play more than 10 feet away from you as they have lost trust and explain it to them that way about what trust means and what it means to lose it and the consequences of it.

From the standpoint of dealing with the parents use the bullying angle rather than the fact they hurt your daughter. The parents should be outraged at their children that they would think hurting a friend was a good way to play. When a girl says "no", "stop", "you are hurting me" and they don't it says a lot of bad things about their character that needs to be changed before they get older. Bullying is such a big thing in the news and almost all cities have some sort of program for dealing with bullies but what people have to be taught to see is that in almost all older bullies there were signs of negative delinquent behaviours when they were younger that went unchecked. Take that line with the parents and it should actually help smooth things over in the sense that you were doing them a favour.