Did I over-React???

[Cadillac]

Here's The Story
Child A: My 3 1/2 year old girl
Child B: 3.5 year old boy
Child C: 2.5 year old boy

I'm at a small play structure with a little guy (just 2) while my five other kids (all 2.5 to 3.5 are playing in the leaves across the (fenced in park and yes; in my sight line) Child A lies down on her back on the leaves and is throwing leaves in the air while the others are doing the same or throwing a few at each other (quite a cute scene really. Until child B pick up a tree branch (a big nono in my DC as picking up sticks inevitably leads to tears) this branch wighs about 3-4 pounds is about 3 in diameter and two feet long. It's a branch, not a little stick) he drops it. I hear child A say ow I don't like that!!! Child A picks up the branch and drops it directly on her legs and she yells OW! so I'm walking over to take care of the situation. I see child C pick up the branch and now I'm jogging while I hollor to put it down. He heard me. He thorws the branch at her and it hits her in the knees. So now she's crying.

I, not so gently, grab B and C and sit them down on the ground and proceed to lose it a bit (I'm not a yeller, but this really got to me). I tend to my child and them gather them all by the stroller and sit the boys on the bench. Child B is smirking and giggling. Child A is hurt ad I am really mad.

I call the parents right away and tell them to come pick up their kids after briefly explaining what happens. Child C's dad asks to come later as he cant leave work. I said no he needs to go now. Child B's mother is at the baby doctor and says she'll come after. As much as I am trying my best to stay calm I think I may have been curt with them. Things like this don't happen with my normally gentle and caring group. I regret that I was angry when I called.

Child C's parents send his uncle to come get him. It's like the best treat in the world for child C when uncle comes. so I tell dad that I really hope the afternoon is not going to be fun. (stupid stupid!!! why did I say that?!?!!!) Uncle shows up and sees the branch (I brought it home so parents would understand why their kids aren't welcome for the rest of the day). Uncle is surprised and asks for details on how to handle the afternoon. He makes sure child A is ok. is very concerned and really saddened. I explain my three strike system. He gets it

Child B's mom shows and she doesn't want to talk, she doesn't ask about child A, she seems mad that she is even there. She takes her child and walks down the street looking pissed (but not at her son).

I sent both parents a text apologizing about my curt phone call and explained that I was scared and angry and very very surprised. I said I was sure they felt the same way and I asked for a meeting to discuss further. that was an hour ago. no one has responded.

Child A has a bit of a swollen knee and bumps and bruises that weren't there before. she was confused why her two best friends would be mean to her and pointed out every branch to her father this afternoon saying THATS THE BRANCH THEY HIT ME WITH!

I think the parents are upset and think I over reacted because it was my child. That could be true in a sense but I still would have sent the kids home if it was another child. I would probably be even more freaked out because now I have to call a parent who left their little one in my care to keep safe and they wound up ganged up on with a tree branch! I would be left with a decision whether to kick them out instantly rather than give a strike.

So my question is: what would you have done? Did I over react?

I think that they think I over reacted that

[playfelt]

I don't think you over - reacted. If anything is said remind the parents that ONLY because the child being ganged up on is your own that child B and C were not kicked out on the spot but only sent home for detention. You have a responsibility to the parents of the children in your care to protect them all and if the situation had been different and another daycare child had been hurting their child they would expect you the caregiver to terminate the offending child.

This makes it look like you have actually done them a favour.

Personally not sure I would have called the parents for pick up but would have had child B and C in virtual lock down mode the rest of the afternoon and the parents made aware of why and how they were being treated. It is things like the smirk though indicating total understanding and willful disobedience that comes into play here. I'm sure the parents were more ticked than they would have been had you just mentioned it at the end of the day so having been inconvenienced maybe they will speak with the kids about their behaviour and/or punish accordingly.

Ideally dress your child in loose enough clothes she can show the bruises on her legs to the parents in the morning if they ask. If nothing is said just use that glaring look at the boys as they walk in as much as to say I have my eyes on you and then for sure for tomorrow they do not get out of your sight - ideally arm's reach the entire day.

[Cadillac]

Virtual lock down is hard in my house, especially if its two kids. There's no where to isolate them unless I put them in a room with the door shut. which I wont do.

I feel bad about the way I was on the phone.

I needed the kids gone though. I don't feel bad about that part to much actually lol.

Neither child is here tomorrow (Friday s a light day for me) so by the tie the kids are back the bruises will be gone. Kids and their damn super healing powers.

It was the worst feeling in the world running to that scene. even if it was three year olds. Man you should see this stick!

Thanks for the back up I needed to hear that

I'm nervous of what is to come Monday

[Cadillac]

Am I right to feel a bit upset that child C's parents haven't called to discuss or say sorry for behavior? or ask after the injured child?

[5 Little Monkeys]

I would have disciplined them and told their parents at pick up time. I don't think I would have called the parents to pick up right away though. Part of my reasoning for that is because IMO it shows the parents I am not capable of supervising the group. I am not saying this is the case for you, it is just how I would feel and how I feel my group of parents would take the situation.

Depending on the severity of an incident like this, I would tell the parents that if it happened again I would possibly be calling for an immediate pick up and if this behaviour continued than I would have no choice but to terminate.

Kids hurt each other all the time with toys, books, hands and unfortunately branches. I wouldn't terminate after a one time incident but if after an agreed set amount of time, the parents and I couldn't get their child's inappropriate behaviour under control than I would terminate.

[mickyc]

I agree with 5 Little Monkey's. I would not have called for kids to get picked up. Kids would have gotten a double time out. I would have told the parents at pickup time about what happened. You said yourself that this was shocking because the group isn't normally like that so it was.

I think what you have shown the children is that if they want to go home or be picked up quickly that all they need to do is hurt someone. Kids learn quickly how to manipulate (had this issue once kids have been sick - how they play it up knowing that mom will come get them).

[Crayola kiddies]

As a provider I would not have called for pick up either especially since your child picked up the branch and dropped it on her own legs .... This perhaps contributed to the injuries. As a parent who has had children in daycare before I started providing care would have been annoyed that I had to pick up my child unless of course your child's leg was broken or had severe enough injuries that warranted a trip to the hospital. JMHO

[Crayola kiddies]

Am I right to feel a bit upset that child C's parents haven't called to discuss or say sorry for behavior? or ask after the injured child?

I think that you are looking for the parent to validate your concerns and therefore reaffirm that you did the right thing by sending all the kids home. To me it seems the parent has already demonstrated how they feel about it. However you are entitled to feel how you feel regardless if its right or wrong.

[Cadillac]

As a provider I would not have called for pick up either especially since your child picked up the branch and dropped it on her own legs .... This perhaps contributed to the injuries. As a parent who has had children in daycare before I started providing care would have been annoyed that I had to pick up my child unless of course your child's leg was broken or had severe enough injuries that warranted a trip to the hospital. JMHO

Maybe I got my ABC's mixed up. my child never dropped the stick on herself.

My thing is why do you wait until someone needs to go to the hospital to see the severity of a situation??? I'm happy that it was her legs and not her face.

[Cadillac]

I know that children hurt themselves and each other. this situation just looked so particularly malicious!

I think that's why I sent them home and am having so much trouble with how I feel about it.