When I get a child like that I think in terms of the results I want. I want the separation anxiety and making strange to stop of course, but if the child does not have that anxiety then what do I want him or her to have? I want them to have the skills necessary to make choices that involve learning and playing.

I keep telling them everything is fine but at the same time I allow them to express their anxiety by crying. I keep positively reinforcing the behaviour I want with hugs or high fives and answering the anxious cries with the message that "mummy and daddy love you and everything is fine". Sorry it means that I have to listen to the cries until the child believes that he or she is fine and there is nothing to worry about except what to play with today. Even the other children join in and start telling the child he or she will be fine.

I don't try to distract them or convince them they are not upset. I just introduce a new way to react to the situation. I had a little boy who screamed for most of the day by the door of my playroom. I just kept telling him these things and within two weeks or so he was fine. I find it helps me to keep my sanity. I suppose it is better than complaining because I was convinced myself that everything was gonna be just fine and the crying would stop.

I also did and interview recently where a mom asked me how long I would allow her three year old to scream. I guess I must have looked shocked because they never returned.