Screaming 1 year old

[Loyer]

I have a new baby at my daycare he is 1 year old. I need some advice on how to deal with a child who is changed fed has toys other kids to play with music and still screams because he wants to be picked up all the time.

when it is nap time he keeps everyone up and does not sleep a wink all he does is scream as loud as he can. and I am so tired of it i dont know what to do and I cant afford right now to let him go untill I find someone else

does anyone have any suggestions?

[cfred]

He may just need extra cuddles and security from you until he settles in and feels safe. I would have no issues with holding him more, if that makes him feel better. I can imagine it must be terrifying for a baby to be left with a stranger in a new setting. His little world has been turned upside down. I've never had a child I couldn't transition, but some are harder than others. It will end eventually. I have found that the more I cuddle them, the better it goes though. See if there's something that will 'bond' you to him and strengthen your connection. For one little baby girl I had, it was kissing her palms while she ate. I have no idea why, but she loved it and helped her settle more quickly. With another little guy, I shared a smoothie my daughter had bought me. He thought that was about the coolest thing ever and settled immediately after that. Another little guy liked 'raspberries' on his belly button at diaper changes. Silly little things can make all the difference. Just keep your eyes open and see what your little guy responds to and do it....a lot!

Do they all nap in the same room? If so, I'd think about moving him to a room on his own. Regardless of the sleeping arrangements, it might be a good idea to set up some white noise for him and the others. For my bad sleepers, I just turn on my dehumidifier as a sound barrier. I have a fan on in another room for a little one who has occasional sleep issues. These things seem to do the trick. I would avoid pulling him out of bed. Perhaps go in to check periodically (I'd even limit and eliminate that fairly quickly) to let him know you're still there and be sure he's ok. Eventually he'll sleep, but sometimes it takes a while. You kind of just have to hunker down and get through it, sucky as it is. When the screaming gets to you, maybe step outside the front door for a moment, just to collect your thoughts. Just keep reminding yourself that it's temporary and, even though it's irritating to listen to, it's not really affecting you in any real, harmful way. It's just as annoying as all get out.

Hope you see some progress soon!

[Loyer]

They all sleep in there own room. Your advice is great thank you I will try some different things.

One of my concerns is that he has already been here for 1 month and tried many things so this is why it is most frustrating.

[mickyc]

How have you lasted a whole month with a screaming child? Does he scream non-stop?

I had a boy last only 3 days. He literally screamed from the second mom dropped off until I called her at 2 to come get him because I couldn't stand it any longer. The other kids would cover their ears (his scream was so high pitched it hurt the eardrums). He wouldn't eat or sleep, just scream. I lasted 3 days and told mom it wasn't going to work. I was already the 2nd daycare. The first one only lasted 1 day. He managed to transition into his 3rd daycare ok.

I have had kids who are hard to transition but never had an issue with a child screaming like that one boy. I don't/won't hold a child all day either. I have too many things to do. Also it isn't fair for the other kids to not get their nap and have to listen to a screamer the whole day.

[cfred]

The longest it took me to transition one screamer I had was 3 months. It was BRUTAL!!! But, it was a rural area and pickings were slim, so I toughed it out. Eventually it stopped and she was a lovely girl. I've never given up on a child though have come close a few times. Usually, those hard ones, end up being the loveliest little children to have in care once they settle. I do, however, give newbies lots and lots of attention. All clients are aware that this is a luxury everyone is entitled to when coming here. The others have to sacrifice a little for a short while, but it always works out. Often, the kids will participate in trying to make the sad/distressed child feel better.

[Loyer]

today is much better but yes he was screaming all day from the moment his mom dropped him off until he went home 7:30-5:00 everyday

so if we can continue for one week strait not screaming I will keep him and work with him but if not it will be time to let him go soon

[5 Little Monkeys]

Ugh, an all day crier is the worst. It is the quickest thing to make me loose my mind lol. The longest I had was 2 weeks. I don't like to terminate but I think any longer than a month would make me consider it.

I have basic rules that every child must follow. However, all children are different and so we have to "teach" them differently and try different approaches sometimes. What worked for mine was, I would sit on the floor and play with him and the group. If he wanted to sit on my lap for a few minutes that was fine but the second he started to cry off he went. If he got really bad(like really loud, out of control crying) then he was placed in his playpen until he calmed down enough to join us again. I encouraged him to be around us all the time even if he was crying. This meant that he did art crying, went outside crying, ate lunch crying, played crying. I just continued on with the day and tried not to give too much attention to the crying. Magically, after two weeks it just stopped and he is now my most easy going child.

Good luck, I hope you can find an approach that works for you and the child and hopefully the all day crying soon stops quickly!

[care and share]

When I get a child like that I think in terms of the results I want. I want the separation anxiety and making strange to stop of course, but if the child does not have that anxiety then what do I want him or her to have? I want them to have the skills necessary to make choices that involve learning and playing.

I keep telling them everything is fine but at the same time I allow them to express their anxiety by crying. I keep positively reinforcing the behaviour I want with hugs or high fives and answering the anxious cries with the message that "mummy and daddy love you and everything is fine". Sorry it means that I have to listen to the cries until the child believes that he or she is fine and there is nothing to worry about except what to play with today. Even the other children join in and start telling the child he or she will be fine.

I don't try to distract them or convince them they are not upset. I just introduce a new way to react to the situation. I had a little boy who screamed for most of the day by the door of my playroom. I just kept telling him these things and within two weeks or so he was fine. I find it helps me to keep my sanity. I suppose it is better than complaining because I was convinced myself that everything was gonna be just fine and the crying would stop.

I also did and interview recently where a mom asked me how long I would allow her three year old to scream. I guess I must have looked shocked because they never returned.

[Sassygirl]

Great ideas!
I think that we have all been there.
For me personally, I can't give alot of extra time and cuddles. I have all toddlers aged 13-20months on my care including my own son. I am busy enough intercepting the hiting, toy snatching and biting to devote too much extra time consoling a screamer.
I do what 5 Little Monkeys mentioned, if crying continues up to the playpen they go and its funny because most times that would happen with my screamer at the time, they would be asleep when I went to check on them.
I typically give 1 month total. I give notice after 2 weeks to the parents that this is their 2 weeks notice, if things don't improve with the crying they will have to go elsewhere. Its too difficult and draining and quite frankly, we aren't PAID ENOUGH to listen to that all day long!