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  1. #21
    Euphoric ! mimi's Avatar
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    The last line of your post brought tears to my eyes gravy train Thanks for letting us know.

  2. #22
    Expansive...
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    (((hugs)))

  3. #23
    Starting to feel at home...
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    I am so sorry for your loss, take care of yourself, get some much needed rest and spend the time with your family who I am sure care a tremendous amount about you. Your son just proved it last night. Feel better soon!

  4. #24
    Euphoric !
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    Sep 2013
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    I am so sorry for your loss as well. I know exactly what you mean when you say that you had your whole future mapped out already. I had very little family support when I had my miscarriages (they were all early on in the pregnancy). Unless it happens to you it is so hard to understand the emotional side of it. My heart goes out to you and your angel baby!

    Here is a poem I want to share with you (it helped me through my miscarriages and still makes me cry):

    What makes a mother:
    I thought of you and closed my eyes.
    And prayed to God today.
    I asked what makes a mother and
    I know I heard him say,

    A mother has a baby.
    This we know is true.
    But God, can you be a mother
    when your baby's not with you?

    Yes, you can, He replied
    with confidence in His voice.
    I give many women babies.
    When they leave is not their choice.

    Some I send for a lifetime
    and others for a day.
    And some I send to feel your womb
    but there's no need to stay.

    I just don't understand this. God,
    I want my baby here.
    He took a breath and cleared His throat
    and then I saw a tear.

    I wish I could show you
    what your child is doing today.
    If you could see your child smile
    with other children and say,

    "We go to earth to learn our lessons
    of life and love and fear.
    My Mommy loved me, Oh so much,
    I got to come straight here.

    I feel so lucky to have a Mom
    who had so much love for me,
    I learned my lesson very quickly.
    My Mommy set me free.

    I miss my Mommy, Oh so much,
    but I visit her each day.
    When she goes to sleep,
    on her pillow's where I lay.

    I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
    and whisper in her ear,
    'Mommy don't be sad today,
    I'm your baby and I'm here.'"

    So you see, my dear sweet one,
    your children are okay.
    Your babies are here in MY home
    and this is where they'll stay.

    They'll wait for you with ME
    until your lesson is through.
    And on the day that you come home,
    they'll be at the gates for you.

    So now you see what makes a Mother—
    It's the feeling in your heart.
    It's the love you had so much of,
    right from the very start.

    Though some on earth may not realize you are a Mother,
    until their time is done.
    They'll be up here with ME one day,
    and know you're the best one

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  6. #25
    Shy
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    I'm so sorry for your loss, GravyTrain. Though I am by no means a regular on these forums, I thought I might be able to offer a little bit of support.

    My husband and I struggled with infertility, After trying for 2 years to conceive we were able to get some medical help- I have PCOS and the doctors discovered I don't ovulate even though I have regular periods. I was given clomid to ovulate and within 3 months got pregnant with my son, born in feb 2012.

    over the summer my husband and I decided to start trying again and were referred back to the same fertility clinic. They gave me clomid since it worked last time, and I concieved in the first month! we were so thrilled, but the pregnancy wasn't viable. I was so devastated. I'd been given multiple ultrasounds and we knew it was coming (saw a heartbeat at 6 weeks, then no heartbeat and no growth the following week) and the dr said we just had to wait and see. I miscarried at about 8 weeks, and the pain was intense but thankfully short lived. Within an hour it passed and it was over.

    This was in september. I bled for a few days but nothing worse then a normal period for me. I had another period the beginning of november (my cycles are usually 6 weeks apart, I'm assuming due to the annovulation)

    In december I started feeling weird. Not myself. It wasn't until the 23rd of dec that I looked at my calendar and realized how long it had been since I had a period. I took a test that day as I had a bunch left over from TTC in the summer.

    Big fat positive.

    Both my husband and I were in shock, as I didn't feel emotionally 'ready' for another, and the fact that we needed medication the previous pregnancies. We weren't even trying.

    In short- it sucks. It really fucking sucks, it breaks your heart. A friend of mine said to me "You'll still get to meet that little peanut. Soul's just waiting for a better suit. (Some of 'em are picky like that.). Betcha it's a girl. Mine turned out to be Becca. And she's STILL like that."

    There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Sending love, and hugs your way. Stay strong momma.

  7. #26
    Euphoric !
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
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    Ottawa, Ontario
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    I am so sorry you are going through this. Praying that the support of your family gives you the strength to get through this time.

  8. #27
    Expansive...
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    Feb 2011
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    Losing a baby is losing a baby- no matter how old. I am so sorry for your loss.

  9. #28
    I'm sorry for you. I'm literally crying. I had frozen pregnancies twice and my doctor advised me to use the services of surrogacy in Ukraine. I didn't have a chance to carry a healthy baby. It's horrible. But I am glad that nowadays it is possible to become really happy for money, despite my health problems.

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