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  1. #1
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    Pretty sure i am having a miscarriage :-(

    I am so sorry for the depressing post but this forum has come to be a vital support network for me and your words and advice are so valuable. I am having a super rough day (couple of weeks really).
    i found out that I was pregnant a few weeks ago - we were trying and were so excited and happy! This is my third pregnancy. I started having some spotting which has increased in amount and has turned to bright and dark red blood. I went to the ER on the 27, had some tests done and had to go back on the 29 to repeat the tests. The results were not encouraging, but not definitive that the pregnancy is over. Basically my hcg levels are not rising as they should and it was too early in the pregnancy to confirm anything via ultrasound. I was given instructions to follow up with my dr who cannot see me until next week. My daycare was closed last week so I was able to really relax and try to rest. I felt optimistic for a few days and then started bleeding again yesterday and it continues today.
    I am going to go back to the hospital after my kids get picked up today because I can't go on like this - I am not sleeping, I am extremely worried about what will happen if I miscarry while I am working, and I feel in limbo.
    I really miss having paid sick days in times like this. I can't tell any of my families what is going on because they will definitely start looking for other care options for their kids if they know i am trying to have another baby (I know I would), and I need the money.
    To top it off, one of my kids who is apparently potty trained - we discussed on Monday that the child would wear underwear at daycare now, arrived here this morning an exhausted mess, wearing a freaking diaper! I changed him into underwear and he pooped and peed all over the place within 15 minutes of me changing him. He has been crying and tantruming all morning (probably because he is exhausted) and I am just about ready to give up, curl into a ball and have a good, long cry. I know that if I told my families what's going on with me physically they would make other childcare arrangements for a few days until I am feeling better (all but one family is off work this week anyway) but they will also start looking for another long term provider. I feel really lonely, trapped and kind of depressed .
    Last edited by gravy_train; 01-02-2014 at 12:08 PM.

  2. #2
    Euphoric !
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    I am so sorry you are going through this gravy train. I have not been in your shoes but I would suggest talking to a doctor ASAP.

    Do you have any friends or family that could come over and help you throughout the day or at least just to keep you company and be an ear to listen? Do you pay into EI, is taking a bit of time off work an option?

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  4. #3
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    Thanks, 5 Little Monkeys. I am going to the hospital after work provided that I can get someone to watch my own children.
    I pay into EI but can't access it until June because I just registered last June and you have to be registered for 12 months before you can access it. I'm just really tired and super resentful of having to work through this (doesn't help knowing that all of my clients except one are on holidays but their kid is here).
    I really need to find out what is going on so I can deal with whatever it is and get on with my life.

  5. #4
    apples and bananas
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    So sorry, what's an awful feeling. I hope all works out for the best.

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  7. #5
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    Thanks, apples. Hopefully I will get some answers tonight :-).

  8. #6
    Starting to feel at home...
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    I'm so sorry to hear that you're dealing with this. I would definetely get in to the doctor, ER, Urgent Care, anyplace that you can who has a doctor that can help you get there ASAP. Your health, both physically and mentally is far more important than parents having to take some time off so you can get the help you need. Can a relative, friend or your husband watch any of the dayhome kids or your own for you? You do what you need to do for yourself to be healthy. That's important. Sending healing, peaceful thoughts your way.

  9. #7
    Euphoric !
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    I'm sorry this is happening to you Very stressful for you indeed. I can understand your concern about miscarrying during working hours. I miscarried many years ago. I'm not sure if all early pregnancy miscarriages are similar, but yours sounds very similar to mine. I didn't know that I was pregnant until the doctor called during my miscarriage, then figured it out....but, originally thought it was my period due to cramping, etc. I would say that, once you feel some cramping, it might be a good idea to book the next day off as a sick day. What felt like menstrual cramps intensified dramatically and kept me awake and in pain all night. Again, I don't know if they all occur in similar fashion, but I would suspect, as your uterus tries to expel it's contents, it might be tough to carry on with business as usual. You'll need the day to feel sorry for yourself, let your husband adore you and take lots of long, hot, soothing baths.

    I hope it's not a miscarriage, but if it is, take your time to mourn then look to the future. A client of mine had a miscarriage earlier in 2013. She was devastated. She notified me a few months ago that she's pregnant again....with twins!!! Everything always lands where it should...things work out. It sucks now, but will get better

  10. #8
    Expansive...
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    I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I went through this, and it is singlehandedly the worst thing that has ever happened to me. The baby was our third as well, and started with spotting, which got heavier, followed by the tests and the awful waiting. I actually had an appointment with the Early Pregnancy Assessment appointment on the Monday following my spotting and tests, but Sunday I had the miscarriage. I was broken emotionally. I was only 6 weeks, but that baby's future was so real in my mind and so many plans for her were made in those short few weeks. Because I didn't know what to expect, and because I was so heart broken, I ended up taking the week off. None of my families batted an eye, and all were so supportive and caring. Hopefully, your little one is holding on strong, but if it is indeed growing his or her wings early I DO know exactly how you are feeling and I am here for you to cry/talk/vent/ask questions. Feel free to PM me. The only light in our lives was that we conceived my now 11 month old, two weeks after saying goodbye to the one that didn't make it. I'm here if you need me.

  11. #9
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    Oh my gosh - how awful for you. You must be counting down the hours. I can only imagine how heavy the weight is on your mind right now. It is hard to be positive and patient with little ones when we are troubled or sick ((Hugs))

    I was so stressed because my husband's car broke down this morning and he called me and I had no way of leaving the dcks and going to get him. I felt awful because he was apparently counting on me as the first person to call.

    I felt trapped by the kids and I can only imagine how magnified that feeling must be for you right now.

    I hope you can get to the hospital tonight and find some answers and help. Your post certainly puts things into perspective.

    Wishing you calming and healthy vibes

  12. #10
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    Thank you so much for the support. 2.5 hours left and then I will hopefully get some answers. If I am miscarrying I am going to request a D&C given the nature if my work. I will be okay if do (or already have) lost this baby but I just need to know either way. It has been a few weeks of pure preoccupation and stress.

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