Pretty sure i am having a miscarriage :-(

[gravy_train]

I am so sorry for the depressing post but this forum has come to be a vital support network for me and your words and advice are so valuable. I am having a super rough day (couple of weeks really).
i found out that I was pregnant a few weeks ago - we were trying and were so excited and happy! This is my third pregnancy. I started having some spotting which has increased in amount and has turned to bright and dark red blood. I went to the ER on the 27, had some tests done and had to go back on the 29 to repeat the tests. The results were not encouraging, but not definitive that the pregnancy is over. Basically my hcg levels are not rising as they should and it was too early in the pregnancy to confirm anything via ultrasound. I was given instructions to follow up with my dr who cannot see me until next week. My daycare was closed last week so I was able to really relax and try to rest. I felt optimistic for a few days and then started bleeding again yesterday and it continues today.
I am going to go back to the hospital after my kids get picked up today because I can't go on like this - I am not sleeping, I am extremely worried about what will happen if I miscarry while I am working, and I feel in limbo.
I really miss having paid sick days in times like this. I can't tell any of my families what is going on because they will definitely start looking for other care options for their kids if they know i am trying to have another baby (I know I would), and I need the money.
To top it off, one of my kids who is apparently potty trained - we discussed on Monday that the child would wear underwear at daycare now, arrived here this morning an exhausted mess, wearing a freaking diaper! I changed him into underwear and he pooped and peed all over the place within 15 minutes of me changing him. He has been crying and tantruming all morning (probably because he is exhausted) and I am just about ready to give up, curl into a ball and have a good, long cry. I know that if I told my families what's going on with me physically they would make other childcare arrangements for a few days until I am feeling better (all but one family is off work this week anyway) but they will also start looking for another long term provider. I feel really lonely, trapped and kind of depressed .