Crying At Lunch Time

[playfelt]

The foods you are serving might be common but it all the other things and especially if his old caregiver made a big deal of everyone at lunch together - he sees everyone else and is reminded of who isn't there - his caregiver and all of his other friends. It is easier to forget those issues when you are busy with toys and everyone is all over the room. Your plates, cutlery, his cup, his bib, tray, chair, the actual table are all different. Maybe you cut the toast into rectangles and he is used to triangles - all kinds of things can set a child off.

Rather than cater and dwell on what used to be it is better to work with what is. Let him cry if he needs to, over time what he has now will become normal to him. Maybe offer him choices if you have them such as do you want a red plate or yellow plate. Make sure the food isn't touching on his plate so he can eat the parts he likes and leave the piles he doesn't.

Whenever we moved (military) the kids would go through a grieving, sulking, finally acceptance process. Staying matter of fact and moving on myself helped them move on faster - hence the advice to not dwell on what was or you end up with a pity party of lament but instead embrace the new reality and make it fun and desirable and they do come around.

[someone]

I had a little girl who started with me 3 years ago and she would do this. I did speak with the parents about what she likes and doesn't like, however being able to accommodate this ever day was impossible (pasta with butter and Parmesan, cheese pizza, kraft dinner and that's it!) I can not only serve one of three different foods each day. So I made a rule that there is no crying and no saying you don't like something. You sit and eat lunch with the others and try it and when lunch is over I will ask you if you are finished. I did go through a couple of weeks where she would cry automatically, but I would just speak with her gently and tell her that crying won't change it and that she at least has to try it.

We are now 3 years later....this has been a godsend for me. All my dcc now will try new things. I can tell if they don't like it, but they all try and then eat very slowly. I always make sure to tell mom of the foods they are eating that they don't like and make a big deal of how great they did. AND when it's a day I know that some really, really didn't like the lunch, and there were no tears I ask what they would like tomorrow for lunch as a treat because they did so good today.

Now I have her eating stew with veggies and even chicken and vegetable fried rice!! Oh and they have no idea they are eating cauliflower, I puree it up the night before and put it into the macaroni and cheese or pasta with butter and parm.........mom knows but that's our little secret.