Would you call for a child to be picked up ?

[apples and bananas]

I wouldn't call to pick up as some days this is just what our job involves. However, I would give warnings and notice as this just doesn't seem like a good fit. I wouldn't let it go on for too long. I wouldn't want to give the parent the impression that the behaviors is ok.

[Sassygirl]

I am mixed on this. I feel that it is VERY important in this field to know our limit and you sound like you are at yours with this child. We have ALL been there and I am sending you hugs right now. You must be so incredibly frustrated.
I see Playfelts point about child using getting picked up as ammo yet I do feel that if her behaviour is causing you this much stress, and its impacting the other children in your care, as well as you aren't getting any support from Mom I would be tempted to call. Keep in mind it may get worse with this child and/or Mom may just use it as a reason to pull her.
Are you able to get by financially? That is always a huge thing to consider. Go with your head and not emotion on this.
Personally, I would term this child. I would be saying to mom this is 3 strikes and I can''t allow this kind of behaviour in my home any longer, its impacting care for the others. If it goes on much longer the other kiddos may start copying the behaviour then you are in real big trouble!
Good luck!!!

[Secondtimearound]

Thank you for understanding !!! I am trying to look on the positive ! Count my blessings !!!! What other job allows me to make an income Stay home with my daughter and have my house and supper prepared each night !!!! I get to prepare lesson units ( which I love !!!) I need to remember I am in charge ! I can choose to work with a family or not !! Thank fully my income is just for extras !! ( def not bragging ) so I def have of to be thankful for !

[5 Little Monkeys]

Sassygirl...your are SOOOO right in saying we need to know our limits. If you feel that a child needs to be picked up for your sanity than make the call. I am not insinuating that this is you at all secondtimearound, but we all know the horror stories of both parents and dcproviders being pushed to their limit and than doing something they will regret forever!

I agree that kids learn quickly and the child could think "if I'm bad I get to go home" but if you do it just this once, it will hopefully show mom you are serious. Tell her if you have to call for pick up just once more, her child will be termed immediately as you can not have this disruption in your hdc when you are the only adult and are responsible for all the children

[Secondtimearound]

I was trying to give myself a pep talk !! It worked !!! I agree with both of you ! I vented here because all of you understand when no one else does ! How frustrating it can get but if I sounded out of control , I didn't mean to give that impression !! Just frustrated and Italian !
Calling mom to pick up would be my way of inconveniencing dcm as it seems as long as she can just drop off and walk away , she is not taking any of my concerns seriously ! I think the suggestion of 3 strikes is a good one ! And will prob use that !!

[5 Little Monkeys]

Just to clarify, I don't think you are at the point of doing something horrible!!! Just saying that we need to put an end to the stress before any of us get to that point!

[Secondtimearound]

Lol thanks !! I was horrified to think that was your impression !!

[5 Little Monkeys]

haha, sorry!!! Definitely not what I meant!

[nschildcare]

For me it would depend on how long the child has been there.

If a child has been in my care for a while, and this behaviour is newly developing, then I would attempt to nip it in the bud and deal with it here. If it continued past a few weeks, then I would chat with mom, lay out a plan, and put a reasonable date where I expected to see improvement. Maintain communication with parents, if no improvement, done. I have done this in the past. Gives parents the heads up and chance to help deal, leaves me an opening to term if it doesn't work out. If you need a pick up clause, add it. After X incidents in one day, you will be required to pick up Sally immediately. If there are X pick ups in one week, care for Sally will be terminated immediately with no refund of fees. Or something similar.

If the child is new to care and this is their 'baseline' behaviour, then I would term immediately. I just did this :S

I think that if a child's behaviour is affecting your ability to deal with the group, then it's time to get rid of the behaviour. If you can't get rid of the behaviour, then get rid of the cause. This is group care.

I really struggle with this aspect of the business. I don't feel like it's my job to parent a dck. I do feel like it's my job to support the parents' parenting by maintaining consistent behavioural expectations in my home. I can't do my job if they haven't done theirs.

[Sassygirl]

I wasn't insinuating it either Second Time Around. Just wanted to say that I know that some kids can REALLY push our buttons and it can make for really crappy days and change the whole dynamic of things with the daycare and other kids. Meant it to be that if this kid is pushing all your buttons then its time for her to go!! Not suggesting anything else LOL.
I had a school age boy when I first opened and aye aye aye I can sooo relate and he left after 3 weeks with NO support from mom either.