Give me strength....PLEASE!!

[5 Little Monkeys]

I have never termed a child but I think I would definitely consider terming a child like this. He sorta has 2 strikes against him right off the bat, 1 being part time and the other being AP. The 3rd would be that he has not settled down after 4 weeks of care with you.

If you can afford it, I would term. If you can't, I would have talk with mom and discuss all these concerns and give her a timeline of when you would like to see this child be transitioned. If she chooses to keep AP him than that is fine and by all means her choice but it will also be her choice to have to find a new dcp.

[bright sparks]

Just to clear up he isn't part time. In my original post I stated that he is in transition which was 2weeks at 2 days, 1 week of 3 days and 1 week of 4 days all with shorter hours 9-3. Next week is the fourth week of settling in and then he goes to M-Th 7:30-4:30 which is full time for me as I am only open M-Th. I was hoping to try to stick with it until he has been here two full regular weeks. I told the mom as I do every parent that I don't think gradual entry works and that's just my opinion based on all my experience. She insisted on this set up and now this just goes to prove that it doesn't work once again and I have explained that to mum...coming for two days and then being home for five results in starting from scratch the next week.

After those two weeks do I seriously endure another two for the notice period? I know what is best for the group which is termination without notice and refund her deposit but she is working so she will be left in a very difficult situation. Just because I don't agree with her parenting style or that her child is a real handful doesn't mean I shouldn't care about the fact that the contract states two weeks notice and although it also says I can terminate without notice, I am a kind person who in her shoes regardless of the cause would be pretty pissed off if I was left without daycare without notice. Any thoughts on how I could handle this? Do I verbally tell the mother now that he has two weeks to settle down otherwise the placement will come to an end? Any other suggestions?

[nschildcare]

Just to clear up he isn't part time. In my original post I stated that he is in transition which was 2weeks at 2 days, 1 week of 3 days and 1 week of 4 days all with shorter hours 9-3. Next week is the fourth week of settling in and then he goes to M-Th 7:30-4:30 which is full time for me as I am only open M-Th. I was hoping to try to stick with it until he has been here two full regular weeks. I told the mom as I do every parent that I don't think gradual entry works and that's just my opinion based on all my experience. She insisted on this set up and now this just goes to prove that it doesn't work once again and I have explained that to mum...coming for two days and then being home for five results in starting from scratch the next week.

After those two weeks do I seriously endure another two for the notice period? I know what is best for the group which is termination without notice and refund her deposit but she is working so she will be left in a very difficult situation. Just because I don't agree with her parenting style or that her child is a real handful doesn't mean I shouldn't care about the fact that the contract states two weeks notice and although it also says I can terminate without notice, I am a kind person who in her shoes regardless of the cause would be pretty pissed off if I was left without daycare without notice. Any thoughts on how I could handle this? Do I verbally tell the mother now that he has two weeks to settle down otherwise the placement will come to an end? Any other suggestions?

So I think you need to lay it on the table with the mom. Tell her your concerns. Tell her you are willing to work with her to get him adjusted. Let her know he needs her help to adapt to the group environment. I understand not wanting to put her in a tight spot. She will (hopefully) appreciate that and your honesty. Give her a 2 week probation period. Explain to her that you want to make it work but that it isn't fair to her little guy to continue on the way things are. Tell her what she needs to do to make his transition successful. I would maybe add that you've tried it her way and it is not working. Now it's time to try your way. I think she needs to trust your experience and advice. Tell her you will be open and honest with how things are going. If you feel that improvement is being made, you will extend the probation period. If not, you will terminate at the end of the 2 week probation period. Do you really want to be stuck in the situation with no quick end in sight, especially if things are not improving and he is there full time for a full day? Either way, someone is going to be unhappy if things are not working out.

I don't know if there is a perfect solution for everyone in this scenario. Maybe someone will have a better idea?

[nschildcare]

Just reading your other post,

Yes, it's like giving notice but it's not. It's giving her notice that things need to change. It gives you an out after 2 weeks if he still isn't adjusting.

[Spixie33]

Just to clear up he isn't part time. In my original post I stated that he is in transition which was 2weeks at 2 days, 1 week of 3 days and 1 week of 4 days all with shorter hours 9-3. Next week is the fourth week of settling in and then he goes to M-Th 7:30-4:30 which is full time for me as I am only open M-Th. I was hoping to try to stick with it until he has been here two full regular weeks. I told the mom as I do every parent that I don't think gradual entry works and that's just my opinion based on all my experience. She insisted on this set up and now this just goes to prove that it doesn't work once again and I have explained that to mum...coming for two days and then being home for five results in starting from scratch the next week.

After those two weeks do I seriously endure another two for the notice period? I know what is best for the group which is termination without notice and refund her deposit but she is working so she will be left in a very difficult situation. Just because I don't agree with her parenting style or that her child is a real handful doesn't mean I shouldn't care about the fact that the contract states two weeks notice and although it also says I can terminate without notice, I am a kind person who in her shoes regardless of the cause would be pretty pissed off if I was left without daycare without notice. Any thoughts on how I could handle this? Do I verbally tell the mother now that he has two weeks to settle down otherwise the placement will come to an end? Any other suggestions?

Oh sorry. I didn't realize you were referring to a gradual entry. It sounded like part time Egad ! Well....I think you have come up with the best and most fair solution to warn her that you might have to terminate if things don't change. That means things won't be a total shock in case you have to tell her goodbye in two weeks.

Hopefully you can get through it okay.

It sounds like a very disruptive/stressful child at this point.

It kind of boggles my mind that a parent wouldn't choose to make things as easy as possible for their child and would attachment parent and then throw the child into a group setting. Ei yei yei.

[5 Little Monkeys]

If you are sure you are done with him (and that's perfectly fine!) and you think you can do another 2 weeks than yes, tell her today that she has two weeks left.

[bright sparks]

If you are sure you are done with him (and that's perfectly fine!) and you think you can do another 2 weeks than yes, tell her today that she has two weeks left.

That's not what I said though...maybe I wasn't clear. I want to give him two full weeks as he may settle on the permanent schedule but if he doesn't then it's two additional weeks for his notice period of screaming. I was thinking of telling the mom that he has two weeks to settle otherwise the placement isn't going to work. I'm just a little stuck with how I do that. It's like two weeks notice but if he improves he can stay?!? Do you understand what I mean?

[5 Little Monkeys]

Yes for sure! Tell mom today that you are giving him and her 2 weeks and if things improve, great! If not, she will need to find alternate daycare because it just isn't working out at yours.

[Crayola kiddies]

I agree with the others .... Have a chat with mom and let her know that now he's starting to attend full time you need to see some improvement by the end of the second week in order to continue on. This way she can either work with you to get him adjusted or she can spend the next two weeks sourcing out new care. Either way she is not blindsided.

[mickyc]

Well you are a better person than I am! There is no way I would still have him in my care. I have in my contract that the first 2 weeks are my transition period. During that time termination can be immediately or with notice by either party. I have terminated a child once on the 3rd day for constant screaming. He screamed from the second mom dropped off until she picked him up in the middle of nap time because I couldn't take it any longer. He refused to eat because he was screaming. I was already the 2nd daycare, the first one only kept him for 1 day! I realize a child needs time to adjust but if they are that reliant on mom and can't transition after the first 2 weeks then my daycare is not for them (as their parenting styles are too different from my own). I don't have time to deal with it and won't. I have never had another issue with any other infant since then.

My advice is to tell mom it isn't working and give notice! Goodbye!!