Give me strength....PLEASE!!

[Spixie33]

Just to clear up he isn't part time. In my original post I stated that he is in transition which was 2weeks at 2 days, 1 week of 3 days and 1 week of 4 days all with shorter hours 9-3. Next week is the fourth week of settling in and then he goes to M-Th 7:30-4:30 which is full time for me as I am only open M-Th. I was hoping to try to stick with it until he has been here two full regular weeks. I told the mom as I do every parent that I don't think gradual entry works and that's just my opinion based on all my experience. She insisted on this set up and now this just goes to prove that it doesn't work once again and I have explained that to mum...coming for two days and then being home for five results in starting from scratch the next week.

After those two weeks do I seriously endure another two for the notice period? I know what is best for the group which is termination without notice and refund her deposit but she is working so she will be left in a very difficult situation. Just because I don't agree with her parenting style or that her child is a real handful doesn't mean I shouldn't care about the fact that the contract states two weeks notice and although it also says I can terminate without notice, I am a kind person who in her shoes regardless of the cause would be pretty pissed off if I was left without daycare without notice. Any thoughts on how I could handle this? Do I verbally tell the mother now that he has two weeks to settle down otherwise the placement will come to an end? Any other suggestions?

Oh sorry. I didn't realize you were referring to a gradual entry. It sounded like part time Egad ! Well....I think you have come up with the best and most fair solution to warn her that you might have to terminate if things don't change. That means things won't be a total shock in case you have to tell her goodbye in two weeks.

Hopefully you can get through it okay.

It sounds like a very disruptive/stressful child at this point.

It kind of boggles my mind that a parent wouldn't choose to make things as easy as possible for their child and would attachment parent and then throw the child into a group setting. Ei yei yei.

[bright sparks]

I have had screamers before and it is no fun! Just to give you a little hope though, I had one little guy who cried all day ever day for close to 4 weeks...but by the end of 4 weeks he finally settled. I thought about terminating many times...warned the parents...etc. In the end, I am glad I stuck it out because he is 2 now and such a delight and I LOVE his parents. The only thing I can think to suggest is, have you tried putting him in a baby carrier? If he is happy there, it could give you a break from the crying, let him observe the daycare from a secure place, and help him bond with you. I often use a carrier during transition with AP and non-AP babies...for most I find it helpful during that first month or so when they are feeling so insecure.
Obviously, if you have tried everything and nothing works, then termination may be the only way if you cannot find common ground with the parents.

I want to clarify though as I explained in my original post, this child doesn't stop crying if I hold him. He stops instantly and smiles when his mom arrives. I have had new starters cry for as long as 10 weeks but there were things I could do to sooth them whether it be hold them, sit right next to them and play 1 on 1, or even have them sit in a highchair and observe from a distance...I've had two dcks who have been happy in a highchair and then I have gradually distanced myself from them and brought them out in small increments to join the group. This boy is 12mths next week so carrying him around on my back or front isn't good for me physically. Also this parent is still attachment parenting at home so nothing I do is being reinforced so I'm doing all this hardwork to have him settle and be happy and when he goes home all my hard work and effort is undone.

[mickyc]

In all honesty I say terminate. Mom needs a reality check and big time!! The next daycare might not be as patient as you have been and terminate him. She might have to go through a few daycare's before she gets the hint. Unfortunately it will be very hard for her little guy but she is the one making it difficult for him!

[sunnydays]

We are all different, but I use my carrier because it is much easier on my back than carrying in my arms and some little ones are more soothed by that than anything else, especially if that is what they are used to. But, of course, if that is not something you can do, then don't. It is your business and you run it the way you run it. The parent should have discussed this with you before she signed on. It doesn't sound like a very good fit

[gravy_train]

Sounds like you have a good plan, bright sparks - now you just need to make sure you have a bottle of wine on hand for friday night :-).
Good Luck!

[bright sparks]

Thursday night is my Friday night gravy_train so at least that's something good to look forward too

[2cuteboys]

It does make it harder when the child isn't just sad and needing comfort, because that's something you could do (or at least attempt).

My newest didn't really settle in for close to 3-4 weeks, and she's still not great (and it's been 3.5 months) - doesn't nap well or consistently, constantly wants to be held and will occasionally burst into tears when she doesn't get that, will cry at mealtimes if food isn't presented within seconds of bring put in her chair or the entire meal if it's not something she likes.

Honestly I came really close to terminating several times. And had I known that I would still be having these issues this far in, I would have. I think you are making a good decision in giving the two week "probation!" And stick to your guns! If it's not working out, don't be afraid to let him go! You will thank yourself in a few months time!

[Mike]

I say your plan of 2 weeks change or quit is good. The mother will know right up front which way she is going to go and that should be plenty of time to do one or the other. She just needs to make a decision.