My Daycare Dad Died

[ttremble88]

I do not whom else I can share this with, so this will be my outlet today, sorry ladies!

2 months ago, I had parents come and see me for care starting January for their 10 month boy. They decided to go with me, and last Thursday and Friday were his half day transition days. This Monday (just past) he was not with me because he had his 12 month shots and yesterday was his first full day.

His mom dropped him off at 6am and told me that her husband will be picking him up early (because of my doctors appointment) at 2:30. So 2:30 comes and this strange women comes and says that she is there for the dcb. It was strange. His first day and his father was confirmed to pick up. Anyways, I I.D. her and got the boy ready. While talking with her, she told me that his father (her brother was in the hospital). I sent them on there way and wen to my appointment.

I get back home and there is a message for me, basically saying that dcb will not be attending daycare for some time, as dc father passed away this afternoon.

My heart is broken for this family. Her first day back to work and her husband dies suddenly. This little boy is now left without a father. I cant help but think that if I did not have my appointment, would whatever happened, not have happened? Was he rushing at work to pick up on time? Was he in an accident driving here?

[torontokids]

Wow. Whatever happened, it's not your fault. These things happen unfortunately. I get that you start to wonder if you caused this but that's only because you are caring and looking for an explanation. He could have been in poor health and this was something they were expecting. Who knows. Send the family a card with your sympathy and a reminder that you are available should they need childcare during this difficult time.

[ttremble88]

Thanks torontokids. I know that it is not my fault, but it is just so upsetting. From what I understand, it was a total freak accident. Nothing to do with his health. It was completely unexpected and happened so quick. Within hours of him being at the hospital, he was pronounced dead. I just feel so bad for the family.

[2cuteboys]

If it makes you feel any better, I'd imagine that whatever happened would have happened prior to him leaving to pick up. If she was promptly there at 2:30, she must have had some advanced notice.

That is very tragic though, always feel for the families in this circumstance. There really isn't much you can do, other than what torontokids suggested. Tell them you're there if they need you, but don't expect too prompt a response.

[ttremble88]

2cuteboys, I have tried to convince myself of that exact thing. The aunt picked up on time, so 'the accident' had to have happen well prior to pick up time, in order for her to have advanced notice to come and pick dcb up.

[Daisy123]

That's terrible. I really feel for the family. You should definitely not blame yourself for anything though. Look at it this way, the aunt picked up right on time so odds are that whatever tragedy happened occurred early enough in the day for a plan to have been made. If the poor guy had been on his way to pick up, the aunt would have arrived later. Send the sympathy card but I'd offer a couple of free days of care while arrangements etc are made- they have enough to worry about without extra costs right now. (Just a thought)

[Daisy123]

Sorry 2cuteboys. e had the same thought at the same time- writing while you were posting. Must be true then.

[gravy_train]

Oh that's so sad ttremble88. That sounds devastating.

[MonkeyPrincess]

So sorry to hear! Although you may not know the family too well, it will still affect you. You have your own feelings and emotions. We are here for you, please don't hold anything in. If you need to talk, we will listen. we have all grieved in one way or another, we might be able to offer words of comfort.

Of course my condolences to the family of the little boy. Just kills me thinking about how the boy doesn't have his dad, the mom doesn't have her husband anymore. Kinda brought tears to my eyes.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I agree with the others. This was not your fault. It is tragic and sad but not your fault!

I think I would also offer a few days care without charge. I would likely offer this to any family in my care for a death in the immediate family.

Such a sad story!