Quote Originally Posted by 5 Little Monkeys View Post
I see your point bright sparks and even agree with some of it but I think picky eaters are a product of many different things and it will vary from child to child. I grew up with a sahd and he only cooked one thing for meals and if we didn't eat it there was nothing else. I am a picky eater to this day despite that. I did and still do choose to go hungry vs eating something I don't like. I also have issues with some food and their textures so I understand when children have these issues too.

There are times that children need to follow instruction but I don't think a child should be forced to eat something they truly don't like. I know that children need to eat something at least 10x before their taste buds will truly know if they like it or not and I do encourage my dck's to eat their meal. Dessert around here is usually fruit so they do get that but if it's a special treat like a cookie, they need to eat almost all of their meal to get something like that. I don't like meals to be a stressful time(I feel that opens children up to eating disorders and food issues) and if a child doesn't eat what I cook than yes, they do probably go away hungry as they are likely only eating the fruit and a few bites of the main meal. I do not cook different meals for the kids as I just don't have the time. If it came down to a child NEVER eating what I cooked than yes, I would ask the parents to supply the food. Thankfully, most of my dck's eat what I cook and they all know they have to at least try it before I will allow them to not eat it. I always give it to them even if I know they don't like though because I do feel that they need to try it every time.

You are assuming picky eaters are not eating healthy food by the sounds of your post. This isn't always the case though.
To force a child to eat is very different than not offering an alternative. I do not force feed a child and I also do not offer an alternative. My meals are varied in texture and taste and picky eaters are very different than a child who doesn't like certain foods. A picky eater in my mind is a child who is fussy and fussy is something different than a child who just doesn't like certain things just like an adult who doesn't like particular things. I actually think from my experience that most picky eaters don't eat healthy as they are limited in what actual foods they will eat so aren't getting enough varied nutrients and also it is highly likely the foods they will eat to satisfy the parents need to see them consume something are the processed foods that pretty much any child will consume in large quantities. A picky eater in a child is different than an adult who doesn't eat certain things. They are different because they are for different reasons. A two year old child needs to be exposed to these foods repeatedly as you said, but the chances are, neither a provider or a parent is likely to cook this food 10 times and throw it away ten times. Long before that I think it is highly likely that most people give in and feed their child something they will eat. In all my experience with my own children and the many families I have dealt with, this is definitly the case. I get that we are human and some can stick it out and some can't and with busy lives, sometimes survival means taking the easy route.

More and more new parents these days, and definitly not all but still lots more than 10 years ago and prior, are so neurotic about food I find. They are terrified their child will starve so never stick it out long enough for the child to actually acquire a taste for a certain food and give in with something more appealing to their taste buds which is likely high fat, high salt and/or high sugar or unbeknownst to them msg which is hidden in labelling and highly addictive. At these stages of psychosocial development it is normal for the child to challenge authority, struggle to gain power and independently make decisions for themselves. That being said, they do not know what is best for themselves and it is up to us not to give in to them and teach them what they need to know and what is best for them. It doesn't need to be an argument or involve shaming or degrading behaviours. Just for the adults to be adults and be in control in an appropriate manner otherwise the odds are strongly in favour of a child becoming picky. I was always raised to think I was a picky eater. I now know that it was just that my mum is a terrible cook so no matter how much chewing, that food just wasn't going down. My parents would give me a bowl of peas and I had to eat them all before I was allowed my meat and potatoes so don't misread my previous post as someone who would be insensitive to the child when dealing with food, I would just simply play my roll to the fullest which is as a caregiver who knows what's best for the child, not the child themselves.

I have food issues now as food was heavily restricted in my house so I am an overeater because I now have control of the food in the house and it has become a problem now. I am also fussy about what I eat now but don't mistake me for a fussy or picky eater in comparison to a fussy or picky eater in a child. They are two different things and for very different reasons. I am a fussy eater now because I won't put bad things in my body and will only eat quality product. That is very different than a child who "just doesn't want to" eat it or doesn't like the way something has been prepared if a caregiver is a mediocre cook.