Having them dressed at pick up *rant*

[2cuteboys]

Tonight was the LAST STRAW for my almost 4 year old and his family dicking around at pick up.

This kid has never been awesome at pick up, he doesn't listen to his parents, they end up having to dress him entirely (he's almost 4 and capable of doing nearly everything on his own). When we go outside during the day, I lay out his snow pants, boots, and coat, tell him to get ready and he does. With his parents they play little games and dilly dally to get his things on. Ends up taking 10-15 minutes, not including updates or anything.

So tonight dad picks up (and he's worse than mom) asks him to get his stuff on and he ducks between a wall and my little hallway stand in my entryway to play hide-and-seek. Dad tells him a couple of times to come out, he doesn't, I ask him to, he just laughs, doesn't move. I sternly tell him "no joke, you need to come out now, or I'll help you out." Still doesn't move, so I grab his hand, tell him "I'm going to help you now" and guide him out. Then the waterworks start. Bawls and screams bloody murder, wants to hug dad, heartbroken (mid-hug smiles and sticks his tongue out at me). Meanwhile I have dinner cooking, my husband is home, and we have an appointment tonight. I walk away, tend to the stove, come back and dad is leading him outside without anything on, to show him "it's pretty cold out, don't you think we should put our things on?" They come in, dad dresses him (again, no help from dcb), asks about his day and they leave. By this point it's 10 minutes past my closing time and I'm livid.

YOU ARE THE ADULT. Your child does not get to choose whether or not they want to get dressed and when to do so. Dress your kid and leave. This kid has no expectations or consequences and he knows it. They've lost the choice now. He will now be getting dressed at 4:40 and he will wait by the door until his patents come.

[AcornsFalling]

I totally agree with having kids dressed and ready to go at pick up time. My dcks all get picked up between 5-5:30 and by that time of the day, I just want them gone so I can be with my own kids and get dinner going.
My routine is to start to clean up all the toys at 5:15, get everyone dressed and then we sit and wait for parents to come. While waiting we sing songs or do silly rhyming words, I spy, whatever. When parents come, I whisk them out the door, quick update about the day, and say bye-bye.
Then off I go with my own dear children to my tidy house. I feel much better when my DH comes home to a tidy house too :-)
There is no way I would be having any nonsense at pick up. By that time of the day I am done!

[CrazyEight]

Oh man, I feel you. I have an almost 4-year-old dcg who is the same way. Mom is completely useless when it comes to discipline, and she freely admits it. Dad puts on a show in front of me, which does absolutely nothing. She whines, cries, screams that she needs a drink of water before she can get anything on, the act goes on forever. I now have both her and her sister waiting and dressed in everything but boots in my kitchen until pickup. I just feel bad because Dad is constantly late (as in 20-30 minutes) which is a completely different rant of mine, but the kids are sitting there sweating in winter jackets, but there's not much I can do about it. If they can't get dressed properly, I'll get them dressed ahead of time, and I have to have them ready for when Dad is supposed to be there.

I never know how firm I should be with the kids in front of their parents. They're still in my house, but I don't want to look like I'm trying to undermine their parents authority. Then again, these particular parents obviously have zero authority anyways, so maybe it's a moot point!

Good luck, and I think you're completely right to have him dressed and ready if that's how he's going to behave!

[5 Little Monkeys]

I feel for ya!! I had the exact same problem with my handful! Her mom even told me once that she picks her battles and if she doesn't want to wear ski pants than that is fine. Ummmm, NO. It's been -35 to -50 this winter so ski pants are a must in my opinion!

Mom always sent a text when she was on her way to pick up so I would ask her to start getting ready than. If we were upstairs already I would also stand in the doorway so she couldn't get past me to watch tv in the living room.

I agree. I never know how firm to be either. Like you said, they are the parent and you don't want to undermine them but at the same time, this is my home and you will be respectful while in it. There were many times that this mom thought I was too firm but I just didn't care anymore. Their last day was last Friday

[Sassygirl]

Ugggh what a pain he sounds like!

I am with the others - I have all my kiddos ready and dressed to go for when their parents arrive.
My family has way too much going on each evening as I have 3 older children with their various programs so we need to eat early and leave so its mostly free play and tv for that last hour until I close.
I have a general idea of all the parents pick up times so I get all the kiddos ready. They all get ready for me with no problem and even help me. I do notice a big change in that should parent arrive earlier without letting me know and their child is not ready. These kids fight their parents and give them all kinds of hassles trying to get them ready. Usually I just in and say something like "xxx let Mom/Dad put on your xxx" and I will help quick if I can". I also have a mudroom so depends on how many kids are left at that poin whether I can help out too much leaving the other ones unsupervised.

[mickyc]

Oh I hear ya!! I have had children just like that! It amazes me how parents let their children behave. The children are never like that with me and they know the second their parent walks in the door they begin to act up. My contract says that while parents are in my home they are in charge of disciplining. I have begun to speak up more now. The one thing I can't stand is when the kids run away from their parents and the parents chase them. Luckily my group right now is pretty good other than the 2 little ones kicking and screaming while the parents put their stuff on them.

I see nothing wrong with having the kids dressed and ready. Unfortunately for me all parents come at different times. Our routine here is cleanup from 4-4:30 (some get picked up during this time) then TV until 5. I always shut the tv off as soon as the last parent arrives and start shutting out lights.

[mimi]

This is perhaps the most annoying part of the day! Moms and Dads need to parent up and take charge. I remember as a kid that my parents would give me a certain look and I knew they meant business and I behaved. All I see is parents coddling their children and trying to negotiate getting dressed by sweet talking and bribing.
Now, I have the kids dressed except for boots sitting on my living room couch waiting for pick up. Once I see a car pull up, my hubby takes the child and puts their boots and hat/mitts on lickity split and hands them to parents as they come in. The kids love my hubby but when he uses his deep voice they know to listen LOL

[2cuteboys]

I know, I never want to undermine the parents either. I've also never done it before now (he's always been a PITA at pick up) because they're my last to go and I didn't want to give the impression that i was trying to rush them out the door. But that debacle last night was too much. It's frustrating for me to watch him walk all over his parents.

It works out. My last pickup is anywhere between 15 mins to 1/2 hour before his parents, so when they leave I'll start his dressing (because despite what he does for mom and dad, he CAN do it on his own). Hopefully he won't be in his clothes too long.

If only there was something I could do for drop off now

[Sassygirl]

2cuteboys - get him dressed and ready even if he is wearing it for 15 mins. When parent arrives walk him to the door holding your hand and say to the parent what you usually say (ate "xx" for lunch did "xx" special today etc) then say "Gotta go we have "xxx" tonight Have a wonderful evening" and shut the door.
That kind of nonsense from this kid AND the parent(s) is ridiculous. Who is in charge there?

[5 Little Monkeys]

2cuteboys....your dck sounds exactly like mine was! There were mornings that I had to PRY her out of mom's hands (she's 4!!) and there would be tears in mom's eyes and than the daughter would start crying.....it was a gong show 3-4x a week!!! I couldn't hide my annoyance anymore and I know mom knew and saw that. I felt like I was raising the both of them and training them both on how to do successful drop off's! lol. Thankfully they decided to put her in full time preschool in the afternoons and she will stay at home with dad in the mornings. Mom even had the nerve to ask if dad needed a break from her if she could come here....NO!! You raised her, you deal with her. Plus why should dad need a break from one child but it would be okay to send her here so I could have her plus my other dcks?? LOL

Good luck at pick up time today! I used to have mine ready in her ski pants and jacket undone. Than all the parents needed to do was put boots and mitts/toque on and zip up the jacket!! (altho, she was fully capable of doing this too but whatever...)