Having them dressed at pick up *rant*

[Lou]

Oh yeah, this is something I can not STAND. When dck's suddenly act up, or act like helpless babies when their parents arrive. I have had one boy who always tried to run into the house, but I'm always right there and stop them. I don't care what the parents think, it's not cute or funny to encourage your child that not listening is ok. The one who I am referring to also becomes helpless baby who can't do anything for himself (3 1/2).
Another boy, gets hyper and fights his parents at the door. Dad gets super frustrated and I can tell he's afraid to be stern in front of me for what I might think, Mom ignores the bad behaviours so I always get him ready before she arrives. And even then it can be a gong show, lol.

Oh, I have another story...sometimes dcb's grandma comes to pick him up. To help her out, I get him ready for the time she is going to arrive. Last week when she came I was busy with other daycare children so I couldn't get him ready to go and she came in and looked all shocked and practically yelled (she's loud in general) "I'm here and you're not ready?!?!? Let's go, we have to go!" Guess whose snarky remark won't get her help in the future?? lol.

[MonkeyPrincess]

i despise it when the kids act up at pick up time. I have 3.5 yr old DCgirl who, when sees her mom at the door, will shriek, run all over the main level of the house, etc. All her her mother would call etc, she never puts her foot down. She would make a game of it saying "who is going to be ready first, you or I'? 'Do you want to fly into your boots/coat/hat?' 'who do you want to get you dressed, mommy or DCP?" i straight up said "no i can't, i am busy with the other kids, i can't play around right now." She never does this when her dad picks her up because it's rare that he picks her up so she behaves well for him. She only started doing this a few weeks ago, and i got sick of it quick, pick ups here taking like 15min!. I saw that her mother would not control her child so i did- i warned DCgirl that was going to go on a time out if she did not stop misbehaving. She would twist and writhe and cry and pull out all the tricks- mom would let it go but i put my foot down hard last week. I was frustrated and out of breath from trying to catch her and dress her as mom just stood there impatiently saying to the kid "come on, we gotta go to your sisters ballet!" That didn't help because the kid continued to wiggle herself out of my arms and almost knocked me over. Without a word, i placed the child on timeout. I leaned down in front of her and explained why she got a time out. At that point i didn't care if mom was in a hurry to go to the other kid's ballet, if they had to go out for dinner, or whatever. I was pissed but she did her time, then i got her dressed and off they went. Everyday since then, around the time her mom is expected, i warn her that mommy is coming soon and she must behave and get her coat on and go when mommy gets here or else she will get a time out. It has worked in the most part since....except
This past Monday, despite my warnings just a few minutes prior, she started behaving like that again. This time i did not give her a chance to get out of hand. As soon as i saw her try to make a run for it i stopped her, looked her in the eye and said "put your coat on now because it is time to go, or else you WILL get a time out'. Her mom said nothing, but the kid got fressed and off they went. Baby steps LOL but it's working!

[lotssoflove]

All my kids are ready when the parents arrive. coat undone but dressed. If the parent is late, they simply sit in the hallway and read or play games. Makes it much easier as my time is SUPER tight between pickup and when I start my second business of teaching (theres thirty mins in between). Also means a quick pickup and go. also I wind down all the "fun stuff" before its time for pickup (I dont have TV on during the day so its easier).
I also establish a routine for pickup and tell the kids this is whats going to happen and warn them "your mom is to come in a few minutes lets start getting ready".

[madmom]

parents call or text me about 5 mins before they arrive and the kids are ready and waiting at the door. No more arguments cause kids don't argue with me, and it makes my life so much better.

[Discoveries]

While it is not fun to endure the switch in behaviour once pick up time starts, I still do not have the children dressed to go. The room is pretty much picked up. Everything each child needs for home time is all set. I do gate a smaller area at the entrance way of the daycare and once the parent arrives, then I escort the child (de-toyed already) through the gate for the parent to get ready. I've opted not to have them ready to send out the door as I have overheard and been apart of many parent discussions where they view this as a red flag (or have been told it is a red flag). Some have pulled their child from other daycares because of it. Since we are not inspected this few minutes at drop off and pick up is their few minutes to view the daycare. Is it reasonably clean? How many kids are there? What is the general atmosphere/mood etc. Some say it creates a feeling like you just can't wait to get rid of their child for the day. An unwelcoming feeling, especially if they are picking up well before closing. Then of course there is a few that are the complete opposite and really just want to avoid the gong show at the end of the day and get home. So really you can't win I've just opted to limit the chaos.

[bright sparks]

I have three children picked up at the same time so they all need to be ready to go. Two of them are only 12 months and the other 17 month old has attachment issues so cries if it is the wrong parent at the door. It can be a chorus of cries and I find if they are all sat dressed and ready seeing each other being collected, that they are slowly but surely getting used to this routine and learning to be patient and well behaved. If I have them all dressed and calmly sat on the bottom step ready for pick up things go much smoother. I have made it clear to the parents why their child is ready and waiting for them and if their weren't multiple pick ups at the same time then I wouldn't do it.

All of my daycare parents are very clear on my behaviour policies prior to signing up with me. My house, my rules. I will not get into a power struggle with parents at the door because the child is trying to play us off against each other, so as long as they are in my house, I will enforce my rules regardless of the presence of the parent. I learnt long ago that most parents feel awkward about disciplining in front of me but I can not be doing with the ridiculous behaviours at pick up and the passive parent who does nothing at all or sometimes even worse, some half ass attempt to pacify the situation, which is not helpful and actually ends up making things worse in the long run. I have a 2 1/2 yr old who is picked up last, a good 30-40 minutes later than the others who is a handful. I used to care for his sister also until she went to jk and she was the same and in this case it really is a case of lack of discipline from the parents. I talk to the little boy a few minutes prior to pick to remind him of what the appropriate behaviour is at pick up and sometimes it works and other times it doesn't. I sometimes have him ready if I have zero tolerance for their BS at pick up time because his mother is a pain in my ass for not telling him off. I have peeled him off his mother on many occasion and put him on time out for climbing all over her when he should be getting ready to leave. Also when he has run away through my house and she has laughed at him, I have told her to not laugh at him because it encourages it and teaches him that this is a fun game. I do not work as hard as I do with these children, for parents to undo all this progress regardless of whether they pay me or not. If they don't like the way I do things, then they can find someone else. After a 10 hour day, I do not want to have to deal with a misbehaving child and a parent who can't discipline their child so I work very hard to be consistent and reinforce what I teach the child and take control of the situation in MY house!

[bright sparks]

While it is not fun to endure the switch in behaviour once pick up time starts, I still do not have the children dressed to go. The room is pretty much picked up. Everything each child needs for home time is all set. I do gate a smaller area at the entrance way of the daycare and once the parent arrives, then I escort the child (de-toyed already) through the gate for the parent to get ready. I've opted not to have them ready to send out the door as I have overheard and been apart of many parent discussions where they view this as a red flag (or have been told it is a red flag). Some have pulled their child from other daycares because of it. Since we are not inspected this few minutes at drop off and pick up is their few minutes to view the daycare. Is it reasonably clean? How many kids are there? What is the general atmosphere/mood etc. Some say it creates a feeling like you just can't wait to get rid of their child for the day. An unwelcoming feeling, especially if they are picking up well before closing. Then of course there is a few that are the complete opposite and really just want to avoid the gong show at the end of the day and get home. So really you can't win I've just opted to limit the chaos.

I think you make an extremely valid point their Discoveries with regards to how parents will interpret their child being dressed and ready to go but there is no reason why you can't be upfront with parents on why you have them ready for pick up. If you give them an explanation then they are less likely to think you to be deceitful or preventing them from entering the daycare. I have lots of young ones right now so can not be away from them for more than a minute at pick up time incase they hurt themselves or get in to trouble as they are all cruising furniture right now on their way to walking independently. Also as soon as the door goes they all think it is their parent so start screaming and crying so I need to be able to diffuse that situation rapidly, not chase their child around or entertain them at the door for 10 minutes with casual chit chat. All my parents know that if they need to chat more extensively they can call or email before 7pm and I make sure at pick up they are given any necessairy feedback on the days events, although most parents get a quick update via text or email daily at their request. I'm not just passing the child out the door the minute they step in, they are all very clear from the start that pick up and drop off needs to brief as it is a high traffic time and very busy.

[mom-in-alberta]

Pickup here takes place over a 45 minute window, otherwise I would absolutely have the kiddos dressed and ready. We actually try to be outside for the last bit of the day, as I find that much easier to handle. When the last kid is picked up, I go inside, so there is no lingering.
I am having this same issue at pickup with one of my dck, and will be laying my foot down. His antics when his mother arrives are getting ridiculous and I do NOT want the other kids picking up these habits!!