So sad when child leaves

[mickyc]

So Friday was payday. All parents paid everything was fine or so I thought. At the end of day the last child got picked up and mom came in with her child's 2 weeks notice, the thing is the child was not coming back for any of the 2 weeks. I was shocked. I had this girl since the beginning of September. She is so sweet and I have gotten quite close with her. I wasn't expecting mom to switch daycare's. The excuse I got was now that they have moved they found a daycare closer to where they work. Now I understand that but in reality it isn't that far out of their way and I have parents who travel farther. I am just so shocked and sad. I didn't really get to prepare mentally for this child to leave and neither have the other children.

Anyways, just feeling sad! I hate this part of the job.

[mimi]

I agree with you I have been given sudden 2 week notices when there has been a change to the family's circumstances and am almost always sadden at the little ones unexpected departure. For you to have the last day and not know it is to me, double the pain, especially since you have become close to her.
Everytime this happens I do feel my heart harden a little to protect from feeling some of these departures so deeply. Yes, Yes, I know this is a business. but how can you not get close to some of the kids we care for.
Anyway mickyc, I am sorry for this loss, business wise and personal wise. It does take a while to get used to it when a special one leaves.

[mickyc]

Thanks mimi. I agree I have noticed myself over the years not being overly affectionate to the kids because it always hurts when they leave, especially when it is on bad terms with the parents and has nothing to do with the kids or when it is unexpected. This little one was such a hugger and was always wanting to cuddle with me every time I sat down and after every diaper change. It is hard too because you would think if the family was happy with sending their child to you that it wouldn't matter how far the drive was. I know I wouldn't do that to my child. I dread Monday when all the kids ask where she is.

[mimi]

Yes, it is hard on you and hard on the kids to suddenly lose their friend. No closure for them, just poof, gone. I agree, the extra miles and time to bring my child to a place where she is cared for so well is worth it. I also don't think that parent get how difficult it is for us at times to know we will probably never see the child who we nurtured day in and day out for a period of time. Yes, it's part of the job, but that doesn't make it easier.
On Monday, I think for the kids sake, I would put on a happy face and tell the kids that xxxx gets to go to another fun daycare. Even though she is going to have fun, I know that we and xxxx will miss each other very much. Perhaps have the kids colour a picture to send to xxxx as a way of saying fare well.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I hate this part of the job too!! It's bad enough having to say goodbye to a child/family that we like but to not get time to say goodbye is harsh. I would very upset and I would take it as a slap in my face that they couldn't even have told me in the morning so that I and the other children had the day to say goodbye. Some parents just don't get it! Their child needs to be able to say goodbye too.

I like the idea of having the kids make pictures and than mailing it to the child.

[superfun]

I feel really bad for you, I imagine that would be really hard. Especially when nobody gets a chance to say goodbye.
I was thinking about this exact type of situation lately, and I've actually gotten myself pretty worried about it. I'm fairly new to this and I haven't had to deal with anyone leaving. I've got great families. I don't actually foresee any reason that they would leave, but obviously things can change without any warning. The thing that I'm worried about is how my own children will feel if their daycare friend stops coming to daycare. Obviously it would be hard on me to miss a daycare kid that I've gotten attached to, but I know this is business and I have to be ready for it. My own kids really enjoy the daycare kids, and I think it would be really hard on them if a kid leaves, especially without notice. Has anyone experienced this with their kids? I have a 5 year old and a 1 year old, and they each have someone in daycare that they really enjoy playing with.

[sunnydays]

Ohhhhh...that is hard I had it happen once and I cried It is so hard not to get attached to these kids when we spend so much time with them. I think sometimes the parents don't realize the strong bond we have with their kids. I was shocked when it happened to me and I didn't have a chance to say goodbye or anything. I also feel bad for the kids in these situations as there is no closure, nothing...they just suddenly find themselves with someone new and have no idea what happened to the old caregiver. so unfair Hang in there!

[mickyc]

Thanks everyone. I have thought about this all weekend. I still just don't understand it all. I keep questioning if there was something that she wasn't happy about here. The only thing I can think of is because she was always here right before my closing time so wondering if the new daycare is open maybe a bit later and she isn't so rushed or because it is closer that they can make it easier. she had wanted me to start potty training but we hadn't really started putting a huge effort into it. She was only 20 months old and not showing any signs of being ready or interested. I think it was a fluke that she sometimes went when mom put her on the potty. Was she mad because I kept calling her to pickup her daughter after 3 watery poops (as per my sick policy). This child had very watery poops often - that part I won't miss!! LOL Well I guess I can't worry about it.

This is going to be hard on my daughter (4 years old). Just 20 minutes before the mom picked up the 3 of us were cuddling on the couch. My daughter even asked me if we could keep her (daycare child) lol. I said not likely as her mom would miss her. My daughter actually asked the mom when she came in the door if we could keep _______. We all laughed. And then I got the bad news. I almost started crying when they were leaving.

Sigh....life goes on.

[nschildcare]

Her reasons for leaving may not make sense to you but parents will always do what is best for them. That may translate into easier, cheaper, closer, more flexible scheduling, more lax sick policies, or more whatever they need. It hurts when they do this because we do put so much feelings into our businesses. It is really hard to separate the personal and business but it sometimes is a necessary evil and certainly makes decision making a lot easier.

I don't think you need to second guess anything you did. You have those policies in place for a reason. If that really is the reason she chose to leave, so be it. You want clients who respect and will follow your rules.

As for closure and a follow up to your current situation, I think sending cards is a wonderful way for your remaining children to say good bye and for the one who left to remember you all.

Big hugs to you!