I am really close to call it quits- i need to vent

[MonkeyPrincess]

I have a confession....I am tired. And Stressed. And i want out. I am so close to either scale back on the number of children that i have, or get out completely. I am at such a crossroads, i am stuck between a rock and a hard place, and have no clue what to do, or how to do it.

I want to have more time (and patience) for my family. I want to spend more time with my kids because they are still young (6 and 3). I want more time to myself! We'd like to have another baby this year too and i don't want to be tired or stressed!

I am tired of kids not getting along and behaving, no matter how hard i try (including my own). I am tired of parents not appreciating me, not co-operating with my policies and expecting special treatment. I have always been assertive and i know how to speak my mind, but i hate confrontation.

I hate these difficult dilemmas! I don't know that i actually can quit altogether. Let's be real, we need both the incomes, even if mine is a smaller income, every little bit counts, right? I have one full timer that will be before and after school in the fall, and both my kids will be in school full days. I will have 2 part timers that share a full time spot and i will have a part timer on mat leave return full time, with her sibling. The thing is, how do I decide which children to stay with and which ones to let go? I am prepared to take a reduced payday, thats ok with me. Do i keep just the full timers? Just the part timers with the before and after kid? I can't even begin to decide because in my eyes, regardless if the kid comes full time or part time, everyone needs daycare just as much as the next. My fellow DCP friend suggested i keep the easier children/parents for less stress.

Ever been in this position? What did you do? Any suggestions on how i can handle this? Any encouraging words?

[5 Little Monkeys]

I'm sorry you are in this position. I think it's great that you recognize that you need to scale back and make more time for your family.

If it were me and I was really stressed out, than yes I would keep the easier children/parents. However, I would likely term the newest clients as I would feel that was the fairest.

[mattsmom]

I totally agree with 5 little monkeys. Keep the children/parents that are easier and can "go with the flow". I've been in this situation and ended up getting rid of a dcb whose mother I didn't get along with and was an all around a pain in the ass.
I felt so much better after that...my stress level went way down and I knew that I did the right thing.
No amount of money will make up for your sanity and peace of mind

[mimi]

You are stronger than you think............tha t being said your instincts are telling you a change is needed to meet the needs of your family and future pregnancy. If you scale down on the number of children you can take the breather you need. Once you feel things and you are back on track you can always add more. Also, maybe you only want to do b/a care that would still keep money coming in and your time in between would be time for you and family.
I think every now and then we need to access our situations and see how things are working. Then you can make changes before your stress level hits the roof.
Take a deep breath and think..........a new baby.....how exciting

[Judy Trickett]

You need to start being assertive with both the dckids and the parents. Start demanding what YOU want, what works for YOU. Here is the only secret there is to being happy in daycare - YOU decide how the kids act and how the parents treat you. You use your assertiveness and your attitude to MAKE them comply. And the few kids/parents who refuse to comply? You terminate them and fill their spot. It really IS that easy!

[5 Little Monkeys]

Judy, I agree somewhat. Unfortunately, there are times that it's not as easy as terming and filling a new spot. I need my income and there are times that there are no parents to fill the empty spot.

[Sassygirl]

I feel for you! Big Hugs! Have a nice glass of wine tonight and maybe take a relaxing bath after the kiddos are in bed.

Take a look at your finances... if you can eliminate the problem families and stick to the less complicated ones.

Just remember that every job has its pros and cons. My husband works in an office (finance) and comes home every day with stories that remind me how much I enjoy working from home and not dealing with all that nonsense.

Try and take some time to yourself as much as you can. I know its hard, I am there myself. I am the soon to be mom of 5 (due in March) my youngest is 22 months old so I rarely get a break from "kids" and its exhausting!

[playfelt]

If I am reading what you put correctly you should be down to three kids all day as everyone else is in school. From that standpoint think about the age of these kids and what they will need - the baby may nap twice a day for a few months, are they young enough you can skip crafts, trips to playgroup or other outings - the things that take away from doing what you want to do during the day. Yes you will have busy before and after times but the day might settle down with the bulk of the kids gone all day.

One issue I do see is if for some reason your own kids are sick and not going to school will you still have to take the other school age child to the bus stop and pick them up. If you had to let anyone go that might be the one and use the change in space usage as the reason. It also means your own kids won't have the same degree of competiton for your attention when they get home from school. I always had the daycare kids fed and freeplaying so I could sit and chat with my own school age kids and give them a snack when they got home from their day.

I agree that it is good that you are recognizing that it is time for a change and considering all of your options. Sometimes just thinking about it puts a whole new light on what life is going to become.

[MonkeyPrincess]

Judy, I agree somewhat. Unfortunately, there are times that it's not as easy as terming and filling a new spot. I need my income and there are times that there are no parents to fill the empty spot.

I can understand that. I went through that last year. It was tough to find an older child because i already had enough toddlers.

But i can understand what Judy is saying. I recognized that i needed to be more assertive and business minded, especially with one particular parent, who was the type to ask for special requests/exceptions for her kid- i put a stop to that. Now i make no special exceptions. I know had to start putting my foot down and sticking to my policies especially regarding late pick ups and fees, late pay, and strictly enforcing contracts. i told it like it was and they all continued to send their children to me, but doesn't mean it's free of issues.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Yes, that is why I said I agreed somewhat

I am firm with my parents, have a solid contract and policy but there are still times it's just not as easy to say "ok, you're termed. Next."

That is great that you are being more assertive now!! Running and owning our own businesses require this of us