Parents not telling the whole truth

[Mommy]

Hey everyone. K so I have a new dcb that started with me this past Monday. Did the interview a month ago. Dad said baby was sick so mom and little one couldn't come. Ok that's fine. Baby is 13 months old so I ask if he has any allergies or health issues. Dad says no. Just that the baby does not walk yet. I said that's fine. All kids walk at different ages. My daughter was 14 months. We held her too much haha. Anyways. So they bring dcb on Monday and he looks to be the size of an 8 or 9 month old. Is as sturdy as a baby around 8 months and can't hold his own bottle or crawl yet. He also does a weird body movement. Hard to describe almost like an s or a figure 8 when sitting or lying down when he gets upset. Any ideas as to what's up? I've been told really premature babies have delays with such things. But why wouldn't the parents divulge this ? Thanks in advance.

[Busy ECE mommy]

Big red flags. In the future, always make sure child and all family members are present for the interview. I always screen with questions about when baby rolled/sat up/crawled/pulled up on furniture/feeding questions/sleep routines/attachment/personality etc. Try to use the Nipissing screening tool as a basic guide for the appropriate age group, and then you might anticipate the high needs of the child in advance. Some babies skip the crawling stage all together. It sounds like there are other issues here, especially if the child is small, and appears to have delays with motor skills. Are they seeing a paedeatrician? There must be some kind of medical tracking going on for a child with these delays, unless the parents don't follow up with the doctor.
You have to know your limits. If you have other infants/toddlers in your group, this may be more than you bargained for. If there are delays now, think of potential injuries/feeding issues/how much carrying and shadowing you might need to do with this child.
The parents should have been up front with you- maybe that's why they sent Dad.
Did they tell you the child was a preemie, or you are assuming by the size/lack of skills?
If they haven't divulged "preemie" status, then do the Nipisssing based on chronological age, and that's the starting point for discusssion on medical followup with the parents.
If you ultimately realize this is too much, then start looking for a new client.

[mickyc]

I would never interview a family without meeting the child. I have only done it once and it turned out fine but with small children I like to see how parents interact with their child.

[2cuteboys]

Do you think maybe he is 8-9 months old? I'm not sure how it is over there, but it's a struggle here for parents to find care for their one year olds, and even more so for younger babies - I wonder if they lied about his age to get the space.

I know my agency gets copies of kid's birth certs and health care cards, maybe you could ask they for those?

[Mommy]

See I said a few times to set up another meeting and he was insisting on how it wasn't necessary. Guess that was my signal ugh. No this baby is for sure 13 months. I saw his immunization card.

[Secondtimearound]

Is he first born ? They may not realize the child is not developing and meeting age appropriate milestones ? I had first time parents with a 2 yr old non verbal child and they kept explaining away when I would mention dck development . Dck was a lot more one on one than I could give and eventually I gave notice . It was awkward as dcp were in so much denial that I'm sure they just thought I was over reacting when I would mention behaviour I wasn't comfortable with ie face smashing , head banging .
Do you have a trial time set up in your contract ?

[Spixie33]

Maybe he's just small for his size....not everyone has kids in the 95th percentile. I had a tiny son who would barely make the chart at checkups and it sucked but he grew eventually

I have had a daycare child who couldn't hold his own sippy cup or bottle until over 18 months and he just could not get the idea of a sippy versus bottle until close to 20 months.


I was pretty frustrated trying to teach him but the issue was that the parents were holding the bottle for him at home so he never had to learn. It wasn't a necessity for him and he knew that someone would eventually hold it for him.

This particular dcb was also tiny and I would try to be tough so he could learn to be self sufficient but then I would also feel bad for him and eventually be sure to hold it for him too. I became an enabler too because I felt like he must be hungry and because he was just so teeny for his age. I felt awful thinking he wasn't eating.

It took a long time for him to grasp the skill on his own but it was probably because everyone babied him for so long based on his size.


Maybe things won't seem so unusual once he settles in or he has transitioned with you? I would keep an eye on the child but not panic. It's easy to get too preoccupied with milestones but the truth is that each child is different and each family is different. Not every parent teaches their child to be as self reliant as the next.

We were taught not to get too caught up in the milestone markers because they can sometimes mean that a 1 year old has the whole year to master 'skill x"

[Busy ECE mommy]

Yes the baby could be small for his age. My son is still in the 6th percentile at 8 yrs old, but all milestones were completely on target, so it wasn't as much of an issue, just packing in the calories/nutrients is the main focus. I agree that all kids reach milestones at different points, so you have to be aware of what you can handle, depending on the needs of the rest of the group. I have 2 under 2's right now and some preschoolers, but my hands are full, so I know I wouldn't take on a child with needs that high, but we're all different people with different patience/tolerance levels, and different group strengths/weaknesses.

I do find it interesting that the child wasn't there for the interview, and that they were resistant to another visit before starting. My gut says that they knew there were delays, and were afraid they wouldn't find care for the child if they were forthright about his needs. Just a feeling...

I do 2 mandatory visits with the whole family before signing a contract, as I have found a few times that I had a certain "gut feeling" about some issues the first time, and wanted to look at the situation again to make sure I wasn't off base.

[pink]

How many times have we heard "She used the potty at home" or "He drinks from the sippy cup at home" The fact of the matter is we spend more time with their kids and they do. Just be honest stop giving me the lines lol