One day a week for 16 month old...not working. Thoughts?

[Mamateach]

Hello Ladies,
I have a rule when it comes to part time care; minimum of 3 days a week as I find anything less does not give a child enough consistency. In saying this, I had a mother asking if she could put her child in one day a week which would be transitioning into full time when they get back from China (didn't give me dates). I told her that I did not think that this was a good idea as children need consistency and one day a week is not going to provide that for her son. I advised her that every week her son comes back on that one day, it is going to feel new and scary to him all over because a week is a very long time for a 16 month old. She said she just wanted him to start to be around other children and all they wanted at this time was the one day. I should have stuck to my guns but I didn't and said yes. I should also say that this woman and her son go to a program that I take my DCKs to and I have spent a lot of time with them. His first day was last week. Mom came with him and spent approx 3 hrs here. When she left, he cried a little but it was lunch time and he stopped crying to eat and then took a nap after only crying for 15 minutes. I thought things were going well...until he woke up. He then screamed at the top of his lungs for the next three hours. I was expecting this. He came again this week. Thought maybe he would be a bit better but he was much, much worse. Before mom even left he started to scream. He wouldn't let me pick him up to comfort him, he wouldn't play toys with me on the floor, he wouldn't let me read or sing to him....only scream. He stood at the gate for close 5 hours, pointing at the door screaming! The only time he did not scream was when I gave him blueberries and when he passed out for 40 mins from crying. I called parents at 1:30pm and asked that they come get him. He wouldn't stop shaking from nerves of crying, wouldn't drink or eat anything other than blueberries. I told them that I would let them discuss what they wanted to do over the weekend and asked them to call me. I told them that they could try bringing him back on Tuesday for another try but that I truly didn't feel it was in the best interest of him, myself or my other DCKs for him to continue in my care if it was to be for only one day a week. I truly don't think he is going to transition with only this short time with me. Have any of you had a child of this age transition with only one day a week? He has some severe separation anxiety. I have had others who have cried for almost two weeks but then settled in as they were here 5 days a week. I don't mind working with those children and their parents, as I know that they will eventually transition with the consistency but I don't think this one day a week is a good situation. Any advice?

[Lee-Bee]

Any idea why they are stuck on one day? I mean, if it because they only want to slowly transition the child then doing two hours a day 5 days a week or something like that would be much more consistent for the child.

You knew it would be rough, you explained to them before...and you have told them it is not working. If they do not want to change then do not feel you have to keep the child in care.

Also, without a signed contract stating the dates for full time care to start then I would really not take this child on as you are setting yourself up for it being one day for a long time and quite possibly never becoming full-time.

I hope they come to realize they are not helping their child out with this one day a week plan!!

[daycaremom9]

I have a girl who started here at 1yo once a week and she never seemed to have trouble adjusting quite to my shock!lol She is now almost 4 and has an independent sort of personality so perhaps this is why she adjusted so quickly.

[Busy ECE mommy]

I don't take them part time until they're 2.5 yrs, as I feel the consistency/security of consecutive days works best for the child. You never know how it will turn out, but I'd be concerned that this child might take many months to transition, and you'd be reteaching all of the routine/rules each time he returned. If you're comfortable with part time, then suggest a 3 day a week minimum.