So for my daughters 13th birthday in 2 months I wanted to get her a cell phone. She has had use of one before but only took it to school with her if I wasn't home to greet her after school so she could give me a quick courtesy call to let me know she was home and safe. She went through a period of time when she struggled with the front door key, so it was a little bit of reassurance for both of us that she could call me or a family friend if she needed help. The phone she used had no data and was not a smart phone so it would sit in her bag all day at school and would only come out of her bag when she got home.

She has been using her dads old iphone as an itouch only with wifi so is familiar with all the apps, games and music features. Now it would also have talk and text if we were to put it on as a phone. We do not have a house phone so if I go out and she is home alone, it is always difficult as I cant get hold of her. She has to facetime her dad and he has to call me as I have an android phone. We manage but it is less than ideal. She is babysitting regularly now and when she does that we have to leave her with my phone so we can get hold of her or vice versa in an emergency. Again, less than ideal. I am also contemplating going to school full time in September at which point I need to be able to have reliable contact with her at all times.

She is a very good kid who is very obedient and we try very hard with both our kids to not just give them rules, but explain things so they understand why a rule is in place. She is very clear on inappropriate use of internet on phones, tablets and computers and we trust her completely to stick to our rules.

I have some ideas on boundaries with the phone so that we as a family can take the philosophy of "planning vs policing" so that we can show her that we trust her, and have her more likely to regulate her own use with the rules that will be in place.

I was wondering what other peoples experiences have been for those with older kids. I have some ideas on her "contract" of use for texting, making and receiving calls, night time use and designated times when the phone has to be off. I also want to address the social issues that are a growing problem in tween and teen development as a result of texting such as instant gratification and come up with some rules surrounding "OFF time" that would apply to all cell phone users in the house and have her imput on these rules so she feels like she has had a say in it rather than just being told. ultimately if she doesn't stick to any rules, the phone is taken away, which will restrict some of her freedom until she can earn our trust back. Both my husband and myself are also aware that an important part of this is to model this behaviour too.

I want this to be a positive experience, not a huge regret and was just wondering what other ideas people may have for a positive experience all around