Advice needed regarding probation/term letter Re: child's behaviour

[MonkeyPrincess]

Sounds like it might be time to term. However I don't think putting pictures in your letter is a good idea. Actually the way I see it, and I know some disagree, is that if a child breaks things under your care than it was your fault. I don't think making the parent pay is fair because after all they were not there to prevent it and after all, you left her unsupervised. I think it deserves punishment of some kind for the child, but not necessarily for the parents. In terms of a letter, I would stick to the facts, keep it simple and keep your anger about this whole thing OUT of the letter. Remember you are not ASKING them to go on probation or to be terminating them, you are TELLING them. When you are telling/ demanding there is less reason to go into detail and get dramatic about things.

I understand that, and i agree with you to a certain degree, but in my case, i was in the washroom. It's not like i was gone for half an hour. it was 10 min! (unfortunately sometimes it takes me a little longer to go). I have a policy in my contract that states that if anything gets damaged or broken by a DCchild, the parents have to pay for it. It wasn't a DC toy it was my daughter's doll.

[Fun&care]

I understand that, and i agree with you to a certain degree, but in my case, i was in the washroom. It's not like i was gone for half an hour. it was 10 min! (unfortunately sometimes it takes me a little longer to go). I have a policy in my contract that states that if anything gets damaged or broken by a DCchild, the parents have to pay for it. It wasn't a DC toy it was my daughter's doll.

I understand that being the only caregivers in a household we sometimes have to leave the kids unattended to go to the washroom etc. however if you knew this girl had a tendency to break things you should have brought her with you and gotten her to stay just outside the door or strap her in a high chair. Now this child has other issues obviously so you have reason to be frustrated but in this case I just don't think it's fair to make the parents pay.

And as for potty training, punishment is NOT going to work. Potty training kids need encouragement, praise, positive reinforcement but punishment will always make things worse. I also agree that a pull-up is a diaper and kids can't tell the difference. I would try underwear, she is old enough.

[MonkeyPrincess]

I understand that being the only caregivers in a household we sometimes have to leave the kids unattended to go to the washroom etc. however if you knew this girl had a tendency to break things you should have brought her with you and gotten her to stay just outside the door or strap her in a high chair. Now this child has other issues obviously so you have reason to be frustrated but in this case I just don't think it's fair to make the parents pay.

And as for potty training, punishment is NOT going to work. Potty training kids need encouragement, praise, positive reinforcement but punishment will always make things worse. I also agree that a pull-up is a diaper and kids can't tell the difference. I would try underwear, she is old enough.

I say this respectfully, but I am not sure that i agree with that. I understand your thought process, i really do, but it's not something that i normally do.

In regards to the pull up, i agree, i believe the kids thinks it's like a diaper, but the kid can't stay dry in underwear or a pull up. We have tired the underwear only route and it has ended in my wet carpets, floor clean up 4x a day. Mind you that was 4 months ago, so i am sure she can try again, but the parents are helping. I have suggested that they take time off to stay home and potty train her and the mom said they can't because they are going on vacation in march and she is taking time off this summer for knee surgery. They aren't interested. They want me to do all the potty training. Thats not how i roll. I only help once the parents have taken it seriously and the child shows progression.