Quote Originally Posted by mattsmom View Post
And this is exactly how I felt. Her schedule is alternate Fridays off and I don't have any other dck's on Fridays. When her schedule changed to this a year ago, she was the one that offered to pay the full time fee for each week, because the kids were taking up 2 full time spaces regardless if they are here all week or just 4 days, and also if the time came that she would need those Fridays back if her schedule or job position changes.
How am I supposed to plan on having these 2 children on days they are not scheduled to come? The whole point in making the appointments on these days is so I wouldn't have to tell parents that they have to find backup care because I am taking a day off for it.
I get what others are saying about what would happen if you had scheduled the appointment on a Monday.....but that's not what this is about. If comparisons like that are to be made then let's make another one. What would happen if a parent told you they would not be attending on a paid day and that was your only child so you made plans. If they suddenly changed their mind and you had plans, would you just be expected to cancel everything to accommodate them because of their poor planning or communication skills? I don't think so. By them saying they will not be in attendance they are giving you the day off at their expense. They wouldn't like it if their boss said stay home tomorrow and then told them later sorry I changed my mind. I see this as similar. The parent has secured a full time spot on the chance their work schedule changes and this is a smart choice on their part, but after long term regular compliance with the original contract to only attend every other Friday they have agreed to pay for the additional day incase things come up. I think you always have to make yourself available as it is a paid day, so that's where the 24 hours notice would come in, but are you supposed to sit around the entire day at home in case you get a call at 7am or lunchtime for some last minute impromptu work meeting or other reason for the parent to drop their child in?.....no way, that's absolutely ridiculous.

In this case she gave you more than 24hrs notice so she had every right to come and the fact that you had a specialist appointment is just one of those rare occurrences where cancelling to meet your contractual obligation to them isn't possible. I don't think either of you should be annoyed at each other. Instead invest a little time to have an honest conversation on why you schedule appointments when she doesn't bring her kids, explaining as you did on hear that it saves you from inconveniencing multiple families during the week and because for the past year she has not brought her kids on the alternate Friday. I think that this is an easy situation to resolve. I would apologize for any inconvenience and acknowledge that it would probably be best to add an extra clause in the contract to cover how changes in schedule will be handled in the future and that you absolutely respect her need to work and that this is her spot and you will always put that first if she does you the courtesy of letting you know in advance any changes in requirement. I think if you have a friendly, open and honest conversation initially acknowledging her needs followed by an explanation from your stand point, she will likely respect you for it and I see no reason why you can't both move forward in a positive way. It's not like either of you are acting in a way that is to be purposely awkward, it's just a chink in the chain of changing needs and communication.