Time to workout? if so, when?

[AcornsFalling]

Acorn could you explain what a normal day of eating looks like ?

Sure...
Breakfast - I do 3 eggs and coffee.
Morning snack - fruit and nuts
Lunch - big salad with leftover meat from prev nights dinner
Afternoon snack - fruit with yogurt or cheese or avocado and salsa
Dinner - steak / chicken / pork / fish (we usually BBQ) with steamed or grilled veggies.

Just an example of a day but lots of other thing are possible.

[Polkaroo]

I'm loving that this post has started this wave of us supporting each other. I did my first HITT video today (never heard of it before) and I'm dying tonight! Wow! I forgot I had those muscles...lol

I continue to cut down on my portions and eat mostly protein, veggies, fruit and LOTS of water. This wasn't difficult as that's what I'm use to, it's just the size of my portions that were way too big.

Every post I read I find inspiration to continue and I wish the same for everyone. Bright sparks- I want to eat what you had for lunch today...yum!

Thanks for sharing everyone!

[Kellybelly83]

So... today I bit the bullet and walked my daughter to and from school Yay me lol. It felt great. Yesterday was a struggle with all the kids in the stroller (it's kind of like a wagon so it has no buckles) so my husband took pity on me and bought me two portable high chair seats that buckle up, for the younger two, and two snack cups ( the spill proof kind), also for the younger two. It helped a lot!! Today was much better. I am a member of spark people and I have the activity tracker pedometer thing... i have my goal set for 10,000 steps to start with and today I actually made that thing light up!! I was very happy. My daughter saw my tracker light up and started cheering " YOU WON! YOU WON!! GOOD JOB, MOM!" that was the best feeling ever

Tomorrow I have to walk an extra 2km since I have mom's group at church... so I prepped the kids lunches for tomorrow so I couldn't have an excuse to take the van instead.

Thanks for keeping me motivated, ladies!!!

[Polkaroo]

That's awesome Kellybelly! You're daughter is so cute. My kids are my biggest supporters too. They understand why I'm doing this and keep encouraging me everyday. Keep up the awesome work and inspire others on this post! have a great walk today

[bright sparks]

Kudos KellyBelly...these kinds of changes seem small to those who don't struggle but the difference between taking the van or walking is a huge mental hurdle to get over so I am super proud of you for that. I think it helps that the temp is coming up slightly too, for obvious reasons making it easier to get out and about, but also to lift the foggy haze from our heads that can quickly consume us during "cabin fever" season which has been especially bad this Winter for most parts of Canada.

[bright sparks]

I had a rough afternoon and evening and want to comment on it here versus a new thread because I don't really want to have a dedicated thread to obsess over and only want to reflect on it because of the way I chose to deal with it....so I'm going to hijack this for a minute but will get back to the food, I promise.

Yesterday my 11 year old son went missing for 40 minutes and I had a total melt down...during daycare hours. I had to put all the kids in playpens and leave my nearly 13 yr old in the house with them while I got in the car and drove the route to school to look for him. I have PTSD and anxiety which I battle hard against to not let it interfere with my day to day life, but its times like these that I go from 0-60 instantly. I had back to back anxiety attacks for about 25 minutes, thankfully the fact that I had my daughter in front of me and daycare kids to care for I was able to get myself together relatively well and quickly once I located him. There was a club after school that got cancelled last minute and my daughter told my son to his face that he was to get the bus home. He didn't get the bus so I assumed he walked with friends but after 30 minutes of no sign of him I looked down the road that he should have been walking up and there was no sign. Its a long main road so would take him 15 minutes to walk it in my line of sight. I went into the school and alerted them but had to return home obviously. I was gone for no more than 5 minutes and while some may have packed the dckids into the car, I used may best judgement considering the circumstances and left them with my daughter for all of 5 minutes. Don't I see my son climbing out of the bloody wooded area with friends on my way home. I have never felt such relief after feeling such a mixture of emotions including fear, dread, suicidal, my world was ending and I had to change my pants and threw up as soon as I got in the house, that's how much panic I was in that my body was as much out of control as my mind. My son is anal about rules, its part of him being 2e and the change in routine is what had him all confused. He walked home with friends and did a normal 11 year old thing of cutting through a wooded area, having fun with his friends. I spoke to him a few times last night and he has apologized and we have gone over what he should do in certain situations. He didn't get in trouble, I just made it clear how worried parents get when they don't know the whereabouts of their children. I know the way I reacted to this situation is my issue not his.

So what I was leading into is nutrition and alcohol related. I am destructive with food so after an incident like this I automatically binge on food or binge drink to mask my feelings. I wanted take out but fortunately because I had called my husband he raced home and by some luck he was only 40 minutes away unlike today for example where he is 3 hours away (covers the entire province of Ontario for work). I was able to practice self care by telling him that I was going to have a drink....rather than buying a bottle of wine, I bought 4 small bottles of something else so that when they were gone, it would be over, rather than having a bottle that I would have a glass of and then another tomorrow and so on. I wanted to isolate what I was doing to the acute rather than have it throw me off the positive path I am on. Generally that is what would happen and I would fall into a hole, a little deeper than the one I have usually dragged myself out of. My husband made a curry for dinner, sorted the kids out and I took my drink upstairs and read a book and watched tv. I kept my misery and depression to myself as I didn't want it to transfer to my son as guilt which would absolutely happen as he and I have a very unique connection due to him being very perceptive of others feelings and I wanted to do as much damage control as possible. This may seem like its being written by a complete basket case, but really in order to not let this kind of thing effect my daycare and my children it comes at a heavy price and usually when I am alone, or in a safe place my world can come crashing down. Its really rough and I am working through it and if you new me then you would understand that the way I handled things last night with the choices I made around eating and drinking, this was a huge step in the right direction for me.

I have not eaten today, no appetite at all but I am going to force myself to have some eggs for brekkie and make them for morning snack for my one dckid who isn't napping, and while I am still thinking about what happened yesterday I am owning what happened and acknowledging that it is done.

Another quote......"I didn't choose it, I couldn't control it, I can't change it." So I need to learn from it and let it go.

Thanks for letting me share this ladies, it means a lot.....no HIIT today for me, I'm going to do it every other day for a couple of weeks so I don't hurt to much and get disheartened. I'm going to alternate the days with an arm workout and an abs workout so I'm still doing something. Lunch today is salmon, quinoa and lemon garlic swiss chard..yummy.

[Teagansmom]

Brightsparks, I really hope you have a much better day today.....it can be really frightening when you feel your kids can be in any kind of danger or missing. On the news yesterday morning an 11 yr old boy was missing and later found. I recently have been letting my two boys 8 & 11 walk home from the bus sometimes. Since this happened I'm not sure if I should, I'm really struggling with this....the 11yr old really wants more independents.

It's great that you recognize your not so great choices in coping with your PTSD and are trying to make better choices.

[bright sparks]

My kids have been walking home for a couple of years. Prior to our current home they walked too but it was even closer which was a good baby step for both them and myself. I worry that no matter how well prepared they are things still happen. It is such a waste of mental energy worrying about things I have no control over but this is something I do a lot of and am working hard to get over. It is a constant struggle not to transfer this to the kids as the last thing I want to do is raise children into anxious adults. I seek out ways for my kids to be independent as much as possible as I really don't want to lock them away and never have. They have delivered flyers and my daughter babysits regularly...saved $500 for a laptop in the last 6 months and they are sharing a paper route, 2 delivery days a week, starting next week that is on the sub division behind our house. I also encourage them to walk to the dollar store together or to grab milk from the convenience store down the road. They think I am doing it to give them independence and responsibility but really the number one reason is to try and deal with my fears lol I totally trust them, but I have a very hard time letting them out of my sight without feelings of overwhelming fear. I hope that with every baby step I take, the easier it will get for me. My daughter has been going to camp for years for 1 or 2 nights with girl guides but this summer she will be gone for 2 weeks and next year is going overseas for 10 days so that will be interesting lol

[mimi]

Bright sparks, I think you are incredibly brave. To acknowledge what you are going through in such an honest way is truly the way for you to heal and better yourself.
You have just been through a major shock and your mind and body are now in recovery mode. You need to be kind and gentle with yourself right now and don't beat yourself up.
You are a good mom who wisely did not want your son to see you in full reaction to the trauma of having lost him for a few minutes.
I would suggest you slowly get back on course with your exercise and healthy eating regiment. Your reaction wanting to use food and alcohol to soothe yourself in normal. The fact that you didn't get take out and have devised another plan to curb your drinking is great. Have you ever thought of talking to someone professionally who can help you deal with your anxiety?
I have an anxiety as well. I can not drive on highways since my daughter was a toddler. Where I live the highways are horrible and I envision all kinds of horrible things happening when I am on the highway. I am a terrible passenger!
Praise yourself for not succumbing to downing that big bottle of wine and hitting the drive through.
Thank you for sharing

[momofnerds]

i have found that by eating less portions and better portions I feel so much better. I don't feel so tired anymore. But with the weather change, today I feel icky. I have also lost weight but its amazing when you start to eat better how much less you can weigh.

also, I don't deprive myself either. Yesterday I had a chocolate bar, not a big one but just enough. I found by doing this, I tend to eat better during the day. If I deprive myself then I will over eat and start at square one.