Bangs

[Busy ECE mommy]

I would temporarily pull the hair back with elastics as well, as reduced vision is a safety issue and I would mention if the child was tripping or bumping into things as a result of the hair. I also get the jeans thing, but not for the sake of how it looks. I have issues with a chunky toddler who almost always comes in wearing skinny jeans, and I can't get them pulled down to change her diaper, as well as she can't properly walk or climb the stairs in them. I have made suggestions to parents, but they didn't catch a clue. I don't mind the jeans if they were loose or had the crotch snaps, so I could change the diaper. My other pet peeve is unclipped fingernails. I am doing all the kids regularly at about 10 day intervals as they are hurting their friends, and I tell parents I did it as they were scratching others/self or me, and my parents don't say thank you or feel embarassed that they forgot to do it. It drives me crazy! O.K. my rant is over!

[Fun&care]

I'm getting tired of convincing you and really I should just let it go. Her bangs are down to her mouth. If reduced visibility isn't a safety concern to you than I guess we will have to agree to having different standards I am more than happy to do this child's hair but not when she is constantly undoing what I do. My interests are the child's well being not the parents. But we will have to agree to disagree won't we

[Sassygirl]

Completely understand the annoyance factor of the hair hanging in the face, the tight jeans and the messy hair.
I have the same issues with some of my dck. I almost wonder if any of them are bathed each night TBH. Messy rats nests hair, or hair elastics from the day before left in, clothes too tight dirty faces, long unkept fingernails, horrible diaper rashes every Monday morning... Makes me really wonder. How much extra time really does it take out of your morning to make sure your child is clean and ready for the day?
In regards to the hair in the eyes/safety/bangs issue - I would buy the little braces type elastics from Dollarama, do her hair in a ponytail out of her face and make a point of saying at pick up "I did her hair today since she could barely see while she was painting/colouring, etc hope that you don't mind" and I am sure they would get the hint.

[5 Little Monkeys]

You don't have to convince me. I do understand your frustrations, I really do. I will agree that vision issues is a concern but if the bangs are down to her mouth than I would guess they are growing them out to just be part of the hair and they don't want bangs. That is just a guess though. Like I said, if it bothers you so much than just talk to the parents and see what they say Nothing wrong with that.

I didn't realize that voicing my opinion would upset you so much. I am truly sorry for that!

[Fun&care]

You really need to stop apologizing for your opinion. It really just defeats the purpose. And I am not just referring to this thread but to many others. State your position and leave it. There is nothing wrong with having different opinions...I am ok with that but wanted to give you the full picture of this situation so you could assess it with all the facts. Maybe it's a case of "you just had to be there". I understand it is a touchy subject either way.

LUCKILY dcg actually let me put in an elastic this morning. Previously she would scream and refuse to have one in. So far so good, otherwise I would plan to have a chat about it with her parents tonight. Parents can do whatever the heck they like at home, but when things start to affect ME or a child negatively, I get involved because I am not going to sit here and let the well being of a child slip or risk potential liability for an injury because I want to protect either my relationship with the parents or their ego.

[5 Little Monkeys]

Oh my....This will be my last post on this because it's just becoming silly now. I never apologized for my opinion, I apologized for it upsetting you (which is not my fault but I am polite and thought it was the right thing to do, I guess I was wrong) I state my opinion/thougts but when someone replies back, I will as well. It's called having a conversation...or at least that's what I thought it was. My main priority is always the safety of children. I have had plenty of conversations with parents over the years that then in turn made our relationship awkward for a bit or hurt their ego but that is bound to happen and will happen plenty of more times throughout my career. I'm okay with that as it comes with the job.

Anyways, just wanted to say my peace and I am now moving on.

[AmandaKDT]

I understand your side too. I am a dcp as well (obviously lol) and I completely understand your frustrations of having to do something a million times a day. HOWEVER, I chose this career and with it comes annoying things. No different than any other career, there are always going to be things I may not like but I have to do because it's my job that I chose.

FOR ME, doing hair is just one of those things. I also understand your point with the jeans but these are NOT our children and even though we may cut hair or choose different outfits for our own children (or future children :P ) I don't think we have the right to tell a parent things like this. It has nothing to do with upsetting the parent but more to do with minding our own business. If a parent is doing something that is obviously harming the child than of course I would say something!! Having long bangs and putting them in jeans is not harmful in my eyes.

We don't have to like or even agree with the way parents parent their children but we do have to respect their choices. (in regard to trivial things) In my opinion, it would be similar to a teacher phoning you and telling you that your son's hair is too long and he's always shaking his head to get it out of his eyes and they are worried he's going to hurt his neck (think justin bieber lol) or that your child shouldn't be wearing jeans with holes in them even if they are intentional because it looks messy and they could get cold outside or that your daughter isn't allowed to wear hoop earrings to school because it's a safety concern.

Because we are all our own boss we can obviously make whatever rule we want but if I was a parent looking for a dcp and saw that I was not allowed to send my child in jeans or that their bangs had to be cut or pulled back at all times, I wouldn't even bother. I am much to relaxed of a person to be able to follow those rules.

(I hope this doesn't come across as rude or snarky because that is definitely NOT my intention!! If this is something that truly bothers you and stresses you out than by all means ask the parent to abide by your wishes The worse they can say is "No" )

PS. I have a list of pet peeves too so I understand your frustration and your need to vent

I missed looking at this post the last day or two and thought I would comment since I was the one that wrote that I would ask them to give their bangs a trim.

I HAVE had to be that teacher that sent notes home to the parent saying that they need to send healthier food in their child's lunches, that they need to wear appropriate clothes, and I would also mention if I felt their hair was a distraction in school (like the Justin Beiber hair style).

It sucks having to do these things sometimes, because you don't want to offend anyone, but at the end of the day my job includes the safety and well being of the child in all ways. Yes, hair that is hanging down in a child's eyes is a safety concern and should be addressed if it becomes obvious that the parent is not addressing it. So I would take that extra step to make everyone have a better day, if it affects everyone's daily life then I don't see why it can't be brought up. I don't see how it is any different than telling a parent what kind of winter clothing they need to provide, or that the mitts they sent are no good for playing outside.

I am a very laid back person too, but I am also not afraid to speak up if something isn't working. For how much time these kids spend with us, along with a herd of other kids to care for, the last thing I would want to do is fuss every day with a daycare child's hair - I already have two kids of my own to groom and that is enough work already.

You don't have to respond to this post 5 Little Monkeys if you don't want to, as you had stated you were done, but I just thought I would post again since it looks like I was the one that "stirred the pot" in this thread.

[Fun&care]

Couldn't agree more AmandaKDT. By the way I don't think you stirred the pot at all...I was suggesting from the OP that her hair should be cut. And for the record, I didn't mean any disrespect at all about teachers sending notes. Unfortunately sometimes we as teachers/ providers have to be the one to clue in the parents. It sucks to be in that position but obviously we take the child's well being to heart and want what's best for them. I think that's what bugs me the most and what I was trying to get at all along...I feel I am being put in an awkward position to get the parents to do something they should have figured out themselves a long time ago and I feel like I will be the bad guy for bringing it up. Not my favorite part of the job. I have had to nudge these parents several times about many things. It's just ridiculous after a while and I tire of being in that position. I feel like I am parenting the parents

[mickyc]

For myself I don't see what the big deal is in putting the child's hair up yourself it is bothers you. It doesn't have to be a beautiful ponytail and if you do it tight enough with the non slip elastics the child should not be able to take it out.

As a parent who is in the middle of growing out my child's bangs and struggling with different clips and ponytails to keep her hair from going in her face all day I would be offended if her pre-school teacher hinted that I should cut her bangs.

There are certain things that are a must in my daycare and I have them in my contract. No overalls, no jewelry and no flip flops unless they have backs on them. There are things that annoy me - for example - I HATE onsies!! I really do but I certainly don't think it is something that I can ask the parents not to dress their child in.

Each to their own though. If the hair is that big of an issue then maybe put in your policy that all hair must be pulled up and away from the face.