Misgivings / Uneasy relationship

[nschildcare]

I have to agree with above, if she doesn't trust you I would have a hard time watching their child.

[bright sparks]

I would definitely talk to her about this and clear the air but maybe this isn't about her not trusting you. Maybe it hasn't got anything to do with anything you are, or are not doing. Maybe she needs to do this to calm her own anxieties. Really if this works for her or she needs a little bit of reassurance I wouldn't necessarily be so quick to jump to the impression that this is about you. Obviously without the facts you can only fill in the blanks and her actions have rubbed you up the wrong way a little but there are far worse things she could be doing. She may not have stopped to ask because she feels like a fool and embarrassed. I wouldn't overthink it to much. Discuss it and maybe encourage her to call if she has any concerns or if she is driving by to feel free to stop if its helpful, otherwise please just know that I have your child's wellbeing and safety as my top priority. Obviously stating the issues with regular drop in that can be disruptive or don't encourage the drop ins if that is against your policy but it does sound to me that this parent just needs some kind words of reassurance.

I don't think this is grounds for termination personally, and I don't think it is a reflection on your capabilities as a daycare provider, although I do understand why you would be made to feel uneasy by this situation.

[Spixie33]

did you ask her why she wasn't at work. And really if there was a problem she should have stopped by and not driven by.

She got off early from work to run errands.

So if she is driving by my house 2 hours early then why not come pick up your daughter?? My house is not near stores or places to run errands.

She did tell me she was very paranoid during our interview and I used to show up early at my own daycare to pick up my kids early sometimes just so I could see what was happening but this feels more like spying because she didn't actually come pick up or stop the car.

I would think that a parent should be happy driving by to see I am out playing with the kids.

[Samantha33]

Trust is the main ingredient when I look for new families. I have families who drive by all the time and have never stopped in or asked. Not that they aren't welcome to stop in, it's just a trust thing that I am caring for the their child. I really feel trust is of the utmost importance. BTW they drive by cause they live down the street lol.

[mickyc]

Don't forget if this mom is fairly new she won't completely trust you yet. She doesn't really know you. Trust will come over time. Like I said previously, don't worry about it. You did nothing wrong and it is something that she will get over as she continues to bring her child to you and sees that you are a good provider.

[Lou]

hmmm, maybe this is just me, but I don't think that she doesn't trust you. If she didn't, she would have stopped her car right away to find out where her child was when she didn't see her from the view from the road. I think it's completely normal for a parent to question where the child was if she couldn't see her. Also, if my child had a boo boo on his hand I would ask as well, whether the rovider knew what happened or not.
I know what you mean about feeling under the microscope. It's an uneasy feeling. A few months ago one of my dcb's started telling his Mom that he is in time out all day and that I tell him that hes bad and that I hate him. NONE of which are true and he always had great days. Mom questioned me, and I felt terrible at what they might be thinking. I felt like terminating just because of the awful uncomfortable feeling that came with that revelation at what dcb was saying. But they didn't pull him from care because they trusted me....did she give you a vibe like she was really upset? Like she might want to pull your dcg? I feel like these might just be normal questions to ask but it left you feeling uncomfortable. Maybe?

[Lou]

Oh and the uncomfortable feeling passed after a couple weeks when I realized that it was only ME that was feeling it and that they had moved on from it a long time ago because they trusted me.

[mom-in-alberta]

Has anything else out of the ordinary happened with this family? Has there always been an underlying feeling of mistrust? You said you didn't "click", but maybe she is just not a very warm and friendly person.
If this was it, I wouldn't even address the issue. If she brings it up again, or has another problem to address, then I would have a conversation saying "I get the feeling you are uneasy about the care So-and-so is receiving. I could be out in left field, but if there are any challenges or things you would like to address, I would like to talk about it to put your mind at ease".
I have had parents question things. But they have all done it with genuine curiosity. One little boy told his mom that someone had been biting him. He was not getting bit, but we did have a biter at the time, that he had witnessed chomping on his friends. I explained that, and that was the end.
Honestly, let it be and go about continuing the quality care that you know you provide. Let mom work out her unease. I would rather have a parent that cares than a parent that doesn't!

[Secondtimearound]

I know how it feels , we are providing the very best care we can and being questioned opens up all kinds of emotions from distrust to frustration . I think it was just her checking , and there's no harm in that . I can only imagine me dropping off my dd at a dayhome lol !!! I get it from her viewpoint and totally understand your view point .
Maybe when you get to know her better it won't or wouldn't bother you as much !!
I am getting better at being more confident when asked questions . When I started I would be very upset thinking parents didn't trust me , but it wasn't that , sometimes just a question !!
If it makes you feel any better , I had dcb grandma pick him up with a wet bum from going down a slide after it rained ! She was very upset !! She said , he's soaking wet !! Did you let him sit in a mud puddle all afternoon ? It took every ounce of my being not to say , um yes , he was easier to take care of that way !! That aggravated me all weekend !!!
I wouldn't let it get to you , weird ? Yes !! But maybe just a thoughtless question .