I don't think what tremble is describing sounds the same as fun & care. Trembles child is able to play independently with little or no guidance. Nowhere was it written in the original post that the child needed to ask for a toy to be able to play with it.

Not being able to follow direction is a completely different thing and also the fact that the child knows what a cow eats but can't find the answer when asked directly is indicative of difficulty versus stubborn and choosing not to answer. I would try to engage in a conversation with her that she instigates and see if there is a difference. This may not be easy at first anyway until the child is fully comfortable with you. Please do not write this up to manipulative behaviour. If it isn't and it's treated as such, it will likely be damaging to the child. Also if they have a problem with working memory it doesn't mean they are on the spectrum. It's so hard for any of us to know on here without seeing the child and/or without a background in special needs. Speaking for myself, I have cared for special needs kids and have one of my own so just from what you wrote I see some red flags but then face to face things could be very different.