Varying schedule = unhappy child

[MonkeyPrincess]

This might get a tad long so if you can bear with me, i appreciate it. I read a similar thread about varying schedules and reminded me that i have been meaning to post this for about a week now

I have been caring for a 2 yr old girl for one year now. She shares a spot with another part timer. She arrives around 6.45am and leave at 5.15, then i am closed. From time to time, she is picked up early, like 3 or 4pm or dropped off later in the morning, like 9 am, most of the time she is here all day. At first i hesitated to take her on because of the early starts but it hasn't been too bad, it's only twice a week and i had the schedule months in advance. Well a few months ago mom changed job locations and started working different days/shifts so the dcg's schedule changes here.

It took a few months for her to transition, and got worse before it got better in terms of the crying/separation anxiety, eating/sleeping issues etc. but hey, that happens. Well dcgirl has reverted back for a few months now, all that has been mentioned to the parents, but there is always a brush off or excuse like she went to bed late last night, she didn't nap yesterday, she was sick over the weekend, etc. Or the worst- when just says 'oh ok'... or gets irritated when i tell him what the heck, it's not my fault, i bust my butt with the kids, buddy!. The dcg's schedule is all over the place because mom no longer has a steady work schedule. Before she worked all days, now she works days and nights. When dcg comes to me after being away from daycare for 5 days, she screams and cries for hours sometimes to the point of vomiting (and they get a call for pick up but dad doesn't care because hey- he gets an afternoon off :eyeroll: ), calls for daddy over and over, causing other kids to be upset, she is exhausted, doesn't play well, if at all, follows me around and wants to be carried all the time or wants her bottle or toss her food off the table- when she does that i take it away and tell her she is done, and sends her into a new fit. I have spoken to the parents about all these things over time, the need for a steady schedule, earlier bedtime so she is well rested and plays well and expressing the importance of steadying her routine to improve her well being. They have to do their part at home to make for smoother days for the child (and me!)

On top of that, there are annoyances - like for example, mentioning at drop off that she was sick over the weekend and asking me to give the meds in her bag then hightailing out the door, forgetting to bring supplies after i have asked more than once (once i asked 3x for diapers), never having the right clothes in her bag (4 prs of pants and NO tops and even forgetting snowpants more than once) and i have to let her borrow my daughter's stuff and i have trouble getting it back. I decided not to do that again and if the proper clothes aren't there, they get a phone call. The parents are all over the place too, seems like they are never on the same page. It's like they don't know what the other is doing, Dad will ask me what days she is supposed to come, mom will ask what time the dad dropped off/picked up the kid. Dad is definitely the primary parent, I attribute that to their often opposing shifts but honestly, don't they talk to one another? They even take separate vacations- he went away last week, she is away this week

anyhow, back to the topic at hand. I am tired of the child's screaming and crying and setting off the other kids, her exhaustion, the constant flip flop schedule and the parents lack of trying to get on the same page as me. I mentioned to the dad last week that this week we will be talking about putting her in daycare for the same two days every week for the benefit of the child primarily, and for me. She needs a set schedule, and i need one. i know the mom doesn't have a set schedule, but it's been 6 months like this, i have grown tired of it. It's now time to shape up.

[Other Mummy]

Yikes. sounds like a very difficult situation for both you and dcg. Talking to the parents seems to have fallen on deaf ears time and time again. Sounds like you know what you have to do.

Can you advertise and replace? I know it's harder when trying to fill in a part time spot with two kiddos. Think how much happier and pleasant your group dynamics will be when this family is gone! Think of your own sanity.

[Sassygirl]

Sounds like you need to replace this one and FAST!

[mom-in-alberta]

I would be telling this family that the varying schedule does not work for you or their daughter. They either need to figure out a routine, or you will have to fill the spot.

[momofnerds]

yup time to let go. Before you do, give them 2 weeks to shape up. Tell them that from now on you need a schedual at then end of friday for the following week. This way every week you will know what day she is coming. If they can't and give you an excuse time to let go.