I totally get the husband thing. I used to always be with my girls to the point where my eldest didn't even like my husband (sounds harsh but she's a smart cookie and saw it). I signed my eldest up for basket ball and went the first week and then the second week I just told my husband to have fun and I was going to stay home to clean. He freaked out (I think he was just really scared and didn't know if he could handle both girls at once, especially in public). To his credit he went and things went well and when he came home I showed him how happy it made me (if you know what I mean) and we talked about him doing it every Sat morning. It worked and he went every week. It wasn't a big surprise to him that once basketball was done she was signed up for soccer heh heh! Their relationship is awesome now and that makes me the happiest. He never understood why their relationship was strained and had said "because he never spent time with her without me." Now he see's this was the case.
I have always had a hard time doing things unless it was stuff I had to do (get groceries) but I am working on this. He would always say for me to go and do things but it was always clear to me that he didn't mean this. He really just wanted me to go during nap time or after they went to bed. Now I tell him, "see ya" and go.