Why do we feel guilty?

[bright sparks]

Since September 2013 I dropped to M-Th and love having the Fridays to schedule all my appointments on. That being said, there are still the odd specialist appointments where I don't have the luxury of having a choice of days when maybe the dr doesn't have clinic hours that day. I do not feel guilty about taking time off anymore and I wonder if its just a matter of time and experience that changes this feeling. I used to care a lot about my families but now I don't. I have to look after myself because no one else will. I also had a rough financial year in 2013 because I was down two full timers and lost 2 more to kindergarten so I think I have got used to having less income so am not afraid to not take someone on or lose someone who doesn't respect me and my needs.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I think it's like any other job, it needs to be in moderation. If I were to close a day every month than I could understand a parent being frustrated but when it's an odd day here or there or some summer holidays than I feel it's no big deal. If a parent doesn't like that then they are free to find care elsewhere.

I am lucky that my fiance is my back up and works evenings so it's very very rare that I have to close for a whole day. It is really just my 3-4 weeks of holidays a year that parents have to find alternate care for.

[daycaremom9]

I have a specialist appointment on Thursday so I'm closing at noon. I offered to either charge my parents for half the regular rate or they could just not come at all that day and I wouldn't charge them for it. I am at the point that I generally wouldn't feel guilty but I did a little bit this time as I'm closing Easter Monday (it's in my contract)and also going away at the beginning of May for which I'm closing 3 days.

[MonkeyPrincess]

Uh- your friend is not being understanding. Has she ever had a colonoscopy? I doubt it if you said she is 20 yrs you get than you. But even If she has, everyone's body is different, no one knows what will happen. I am glad you stood your ground.

[mattsmom]

I have a colonoscopy (sp?) booked the day before Good Friday. So, I told my friend, whose child I BABYSIT, not daycare because she's a substitute teacher and works only when she's called (making getting daycare difficult because she'd pay for days she won't use) that there will be THREE days I'm not taking her daughter (since I only charge for when I ACTUALLY look after her). Know what she says to me? "Oh, you'll be fine. The two days you're taking the clean-out meds." So I said to her, "Um, noooo... if I'm on the crapper every 30 minutes, she's into everything. What if she's strapped into her booster and I have NO time to take her out and have to RUN? She's unattended and has been pushing her feet against the table lately and tipping herself back." Know what she says? "It's not that bad. You'll be fine to take care of her." So I out and out said, "No. I am not taking her those two days OR the day of the procedure. Period. I cannot live with myself if she gets badly hurt even if you can." She looked at me and said, "Ok." Then I reiterated that there is 20 years between us (I'm pushing 50) and what doesn't happen to you, doesn't happen because your parts still work well whereas mine are beginning to shift and besides, we don't share the same body. How can you be SURE I'll not c&^p my pants uncontrollably? You don't.

I've had one and need to book another one soon (a lot of family history of colon cancer), and I took the day before and the day of the procedure off. It was on a Friday as well, so I had the weekend to relax.

I think this mother is being totally unreasonable, especially about something like this! Wow, I would have had some snarky remarks ready for her. You take the days you need and be done with it.

[mattsmom]

Just a question - if you close an hour early or open an hour later do you compensate the parents for that shorter day? My rates are based on 0-4 hours or 4-10 hours per day, but if I closed an hour earlier than normal I feel that I should be compensating parents for not being open during the contracted hours. But if I had their kids for 8 hours, I really wouldn't want to be paid for only a half day rate.

If I have to take the morning or the afternoon no, they only pay for the half day (they pay for the same week on the Friday). I would tell them I just need the morn/aft off for an appointment and I am available for the rest of the day, so if they end up taking the whole day off for their kid, well I am open and available so they pay for it.