Weaning a two-and-a-half-year old is HARD :(

[Crayola kiddies]

Omg she actually deleted all her posts ?????? Whatever !!!! Seriously

[CrazyEight]

I was not telling her not to post here, I was simply stating that many of us will not have experience with AP, as it is not a style that is usually employed by a lot of providers or parents of daycare children, simply because of the constraints of group care. How can I possibly offer constructive advice on transitioning a child raised this way when my own were not, nor were my daycare children? I meant that she might find more help and useful ideas from people who have gone through this personally, instead of the majority of providers who have probably not raised their children like this.

It was not meant as "you're not welcome here," it was meant as "I'm not sure how much we'll be able to help in giving you useful tips/suggestions/ideas."

[sunnydays]

I wish I had been able to read the OP's posts, but by the time I came to this thread, the posts were deleted. However, I just wanted to send her a bit of support. I see nothing at all wrong with extended breatfeeding or co-sleeping and I don't have a problem with taking daycare kids whose parents do these things. I co-slept with all of my kids and breastfed all three. My youngest I breastfed until the age of 2 while running my daycare. She also co-slept part of the night with us while I was running a daycare. I am a somewhat moderate AP parent as I do not have a problem with some amount of cyring it out and I always had my kids start the night in their cribs and for naps in their cribs. This is just what worked for me. I have no judegment on what works for others. The only issue I do have with AP in regards to daycare children is when parents do nothing at all to prepare the child for daycare. If a child has always been nursed to sleep and has slept with or on the parent for naps and never in a crib or playpen...then it is harsh and cruel to suddenly drop that child off at daycare and expect him/her to be able to do these things. I always advise AP parents to gradually work on having the child go down awake in a crib or playpen at least for naps so that it will not be a shock when they start daycare.
I do disagree with those who say that breastmilk has no nutritional benefits once the child is eating regular foods. It is high in nutrition and carries important antibodies, etc. which help the child's immune system.For me there is no issue with breatfeeding as long as both child and mother are happy to do so. But if you are feeling read to stop, then that is what you should do.
I would suggest a gradual weaning, cutting out one feeding per week until they are all gone. With my daughter, I started saying that the "nook" as she called milk, was "broken" and she would give up...she understood.

[momofnerds]

I nursed my ydd till she was 3 yrs old and we co slept forever (well it seemed like it) if you have any questions you can contact me.

[SevenwatersDaughter]

I deleted all my posts because I was being misjudged and attachment parenting was being grossly mislabelled. Most of the people posting on here have NO idea what AP is and they are pre-judging it without really researching it and coming to the assumption that it is PERMISSIVE PARENTING, which it is not. I used to look after a child of permissive parents and she could not be more different from my daughter.

From the time my day care starts to when the last child goes home, my daughter gets NO special treatment. I tell them all I love them. I hug, cuddle and kiss all of them. I used what I have learned from AP gurus like Dr. Sears and provide an AMAZING quality of care for these wonderful little human beings.

Does that mean that they run around and do whatever they want? Certainly not. I have a structured day care schedule with lots of learning involved. I practice gentle discipline, but I do not yell at, shame or isolate children. What I do (AND IT WORKS) is based on AP, and as a result I have a day care full of happy, well adjusted, independent children.

My own daughter, from her two confident, AP parents, is probably the most confident little girl you would hope to meet. She is polite, friendly, and takes LOTS of risks (more than her Daddy and I would like to see sometimes, lol!). We AP because we believe that this is the way humans were meant to parent. We co-sleep because we read study after study about how humans are MEANT to sleep together, and about the increased bonding we get from it. I breastfed this long because, regardless of the fact that some say there is no value in breastfeeding a toddler, countless studies show that that is in fact not true. I cloth diapered because I care about this world that my daughter will inherit from me (and to save money). I decided to put my career on hold and stay home with my daughter and run a day care not only because I love children and have a background in child care, but because I wanted to be there for her in her early years.

I will continue to AP, despite what the naysayers say, because I know this to be the absolute best for my child. If you don't AP, that's fine. But if you don't have anything constructive or nice to say, don't say anything at all. I came looking for support and to hear about how other women -- AP and not AP -- have dealt with weaning. What I did not come for was to be told that I am basically raising a wimpy little wallflower who will have no independence of her own.

I do like this forum, but from now on I will only be posting day care related things here. Thankfully, I know a bunch of well-educated, kind moms, who, while they don't all AP, know how to treat people with respect.

[Lee-Bee]

Sevenwatersdaughter:

Just keep in mind that many of us caregivers have had "AP" families bring us their children with no preparation for the daycare world. It is frustrating and very hard for caregivers to help transition a child that has never slept alone, doesn't have any self soothing skills etc.

As caregivers our views are skewed to what we know. There is a great deal of research that fully support AP parenting and shows that these children grow up to be fully confident children/teens/adults. But, it is hard on the child and hard on the caregiver to go from strong AP to group care without allowing time to prepare the child.

You nailed it on the head with the difference between AP and permissive parenting. As another poster commented many families call themselves AP due to their permissiveness. It does NOT imply all AP families are permissive. I have 2 in my daycare...they are great families but cannot allow their child to fuss at all without immediately stopping what they are doing and letting the child have their way. Many caregivers on here have experienced the same. As you mentioned this is not true AP. It does no one any good. As I mentioned in my previous post AP gets a bad rap...but it is due to the "permissive" parenting that gets grouped in with AP.

I don't doubt your daughter is a confident awesome child and I truly don't doubt that it is largely your parenting style that made her that way. My daughter is much the same...aside from her current insane separation anxiety period she is a very laid back, chill, brave and confident 13month old. We do our best to prepare her for the world. We baby wear, extend breastfeed, bedshare etc according to what fits our family.

If you are unhappy with your current breastfeeding relationship then adapt it to fit your needs. Feel free to keep asking such questions here...many will give their judgement and their beliefs based on their experiences with their children and their work with families. Ignore what you don't agree with and take from what you do agree with. There are many strong personalities on here...but from my short time here I don't think they try to attack or be mean they just voice what they feel based on their experiences.

[Secondtimearound]

I'm not sure what the original question was as it was deleted but understand the jest of it . We ap the last dd , and I nursed until 2 ( she weaned herself ) . We co slept and she's 5.5 and 5 out of 7 ends up with us . Having raised 4 others into adulthood I know from experience this doesn't last forever and I am enjoying each stage if raising my last child .
I truly do not think our dd ever slept or sat by herself ! There was always someone wanting to cuddle or wear her !! My dd nursed on demand and we did nothing else besides her care until she was 5 . I started my dayhome then . She is smart and gentle and kind and not at all a spoiled brat ( as we were advised she would be !! Lol ) she truly believes she "works " in my dayhome !!
I breast fed my other children on a schedule , they slept in their own cribs , I did do cloth diapers with them ( figured I deserved disposable with the last one ) I made all of their baby food myself and I wish I would have ap them as well !! But at the time that is what I was taught ! They all turned out great !! Homeschooled them to graduation , and they all but one are living on their own , and successful in their careers ! There are so many types of parenting styles !!
Hope I was helpful !!