I nursed my youngest until just past the age of two. For the last 2-3 months that we nursed I would tell him during the day (when he was getting grabby) that I couldn't "nursey" him because I didn't have any milk right now, and then I would only nurse him at night. Then after a few weeks I wouldn't nurse him during the night just before bed.. and maybe in the mornings sometimes. Eventually he stopped asking - and I got my body back! lol. Its a process and it takes time, as tempting as it may be to try and go cold turkey I don't suggest that at all as it would be VERY stressful for your child.

As far as sleeping I cant offer any help, we just at the age of 5 got our son to stop sleeping in our bed. HE does have a special blanket and stuffed animal that offer him a lot of comfort for sleeping on his own.