Weaning a two-and-a-half-year old is HARD :(

[SevenwatersDaughter]

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[mickyc]

This is only my opinion and please don't take it the wrong way. This is why attachment parenting is not a good idea IMO, it just makes it harder for the child to let go of things that have become habit. The only way to go is cold turkey, she will be miserable for a week or two but she will get it eventually. I think the first thing you need to work on is getting her off the breast and then work on getting her out of your bed. It isn't going to be easy but you need to set your mind to it and not give in. You have created this habit and now need to break it, she is a child, if allowed to continue she will.

[Crayola kiddies]

yup I agree with mickyc go cold turkey same with the bed .....put her in her bed in her room and when she comes in to your room take her back over and over again till she gets it...... and again this is just my opinion but im totally against Aping just for this reason .....everything becomes a struggle ..what may seem wonderful and loving when they are infants at some point stops working for the parent and its a struggle to change those habits for the kids and its a lot of tears and guilt..you want them to grow up and be independent but that's not what you have taught them from the get go .....I have never allowed my children to sleep in my bed even when I bf my infants ...I got up went to their room picked them up fed them and put them back in their bed .......my children have never even entertained the thought of sleeping in my bed because it is something that has never happened .....they have their bed in their room and I have mine...I dislike changing a 2 year and 7 month olds diaper I could never imagine still nursing a child of that age ......sorry JMO......im all about independence ....

[superfun]

I've got nothing helpful for advice. My own all weaned themselves between 18 and 20 months I think. It was such a non issue that I don't even really remember when they stopped. I think if you don't feel comfortable going cold turkey, you just have to be consistent. Maybe only allow it once a day, at a time when you decide?
I know this isn't the same thing, but my youngest is almost two, and once in a while her sister will be eating something that I can't let her have. I am a bit amazed, but when I explain "that treat has gluten, you will get sick if you have gluten", she almost always seems to understand. She just accepts it and moves on. I think no matter what you decide to do, just be consistent.

[AmandaKDT]

I knew these were the kind of comments that were going to be put on here when she mentioned AP. Since when is nursing a 2 year old a bad thing? How is it helpful to her current situation to say so? FYI - UNICEF and the World Health Organization recommend that women breastfeed for two years or longer.

http://www.unicef.org/nutrition/index_24824.html

I commend you SevenwatersDaughter for doing it for so long, I would still be breastfeeding my 23 month old right now but for some circumstances I won't go into here, I weaned her around 18 months old. You definitely need to make some changes in order to wean your daughter, but I hope you don't take those negative comments to heart. This forum probably isn't the best place to mention AP, most here seem to consider it pretty evil.

For my family, with my youngest we co slept and then she slept in her crib in our bedroom for a little over a year. But with us it got to the point that the room sharing had to stop so that I could wean her from the night feedings. My husband also took a bigger role during the night time as it was pretty much impossible for me to get her back to sleep at night because of the breastfeeding. I never got her into the habit of needing to nurse in order to fall asleep, though I continued night feedings for a very long time. If you want to continue co sleeping you might need to find a different place to sleep for awhile and let your husband deal with night time. Don't feel guilty about it either, you've put your time in and now it is his turn! LOL. It was not an easy process, but we did it. And it did involve a good number of tears. I think you can do it gradually, nurse her one or two times during the day and then when night time comes she doesn't get anything but a glass of water from daddy.

My girls share a bedroom now, which makes both of them happy. I am guessing this is your only child, so that won't be an option for you.

I don't have alot of advice for you either, since your daughter is older than mine when I weaned. You may have better luck if you go to the Babycenter website and post on their breastfeeding forum or natural parenting forum.

[Wonderwiper]

IMHO....the issue many people have on this forum is with attachment parenting, not breast feeding. By age 2.5, with attachment parenting, breastfeeding has become more about comfort than nutrition!!!

I read your article Amanda and agree. However, it is promoting breastfeeding in regards to nutrition only. A child over 2 should not require night feeding and should be able to settle themselves for sleep without nursing. A child who can verbalise that they want 'boob' wants comfort, they are not hungry.

Breast feeding as a means of nurishing your child can be separate from attachment parenting.

On a daycare forum you are bound to find people who have issues with attachment parenting because the style does not lend itself to leaving your child with others...sort of goes againt the whole idea. Children are unprepared and I think it's quite unfair to suddenly expect a child to fend for themselves.

I don't think anyone here has an issue with breastfeeding. It's the combination with attachment parenting. In the OP case, it is her own child so the separation issues are not there but clearly the child needs the comfort of nursing.

[dshtebazile]

I nursed my youngest until just past the age of two. For the last 2-3 months that we nursed I would tell him during the day (when he was getting grabby) that I couldn't "nursey" him because I didn't have any milk right now, and then I would only nurse him at night. Then after a few weeks I wouldn't nurse him during the night just before bed.. and maybe in the mornings sometimes. Eventually he stopped asking - and I got my body back! lol. Its a process and it takes time, as tempting as it may be to try and go cold turkey I don't suggest that at all as it would be VERY stressful for your child.

As far as sleeping I cant offer any help, we just at the age of 5 got our son to stop sleeping in our bed. HE does have a special blanket and stuffed animal that offer him a lot of comfort for sleeping on his own.

[nschildcare]

I will preface this by saying that I am posting this in support of OP. Although I am confident in my choices, please keep any judgement about my parenting to yourself.

I also breastfed older toddlers and co-slept.

My longest nurser weaned himself (with help) from night nurses at 3.5 years. I would just gently push my shirt back down and cuddle with him. Eventually he was satisfied with cuddles.

As for co-sleeping, we always had beds set up. By 3 we started them off in their bed. They would always come over to ours at some point through the night. Really didn't bother us and by the summer before they started school they were fine in their own. Our youngest will still sometimes crawl in if she has a bad dream, but 95% of the time is in her own.

This, too, is a phase and shall pass

[5 Little Monkeys]

I have no personal experience that will help you but wanted to share a story that I thought was kinda funny/cute and I had never heard of this method before....

One of my dcparents was telling me a couple days ago that she is done bf-ing. She said she went pretty much cold turkey when her daughter was 2 (which was a couple weeks ago) because she (mom) was ready to be done. However, her daughter wasn't. The mom told her daughter that she couldn't anymore because the "boobie police" would come and get her. Her daughter is now weaned but will sometimes still asks and mom just mentions the "boobie police"!!

[SevenwatersDaughter]

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