Weaning a two-and-a-half-year old is HARD :(

[Lee-Bee]

I find that many families mistake AP as never letting your child cry or whimper and having a child that completely relies on you for any and all comfort.

We are an AP family. My 13 month old hears "no" often, she gets mad when she hears it, she deals with it. She has a soother and a blanket that she relies on for comfort. We bedshared most of her first year BUT I made sure she was happy in her crib and I spent a great deal of time making sure she learned to self sooth. I didn't make her cry it out but found other ways to ensure she would self sooth.

She now sleeps in her crib 98% of the time, she goes down awake, she wakes and puts herself to sleep most of the time...the other times we go in and lie her back down with her blanket and soother.

She knows that she doesn't rule the world and doesn't rule our family. We just respond to her needs when we can.

I've met many AP families that can't allow their child to whimper or cry and they have a great deal of difficulty getting through the day because their child is calling the shots. They also felt that their child could never have a soother or a blanket or a stuffed animal to attach to and their children rely completely on them to go to and stay asleep. I don't feel that that is a positive form of AP. It sets their child and their family up for a lot of hardships later on.

I still breastfeed my 13month old. She is milk intolerant so we will continue this until age 2 when the pediatric dietician said she was ok to switch to soy milk. Right now it does meet her dietary needs. It also meets her comfort needs...which I am all for BUT I don't pull the boob out at every whimper and certainly won't pull it out later on when she demands it. Children at a very young age can learn what no means and it's just a matter of simply making it known that no, you can't have "boob" now.

I would NOT advise a cold turkey stopping. That will wreak havoc on your poor boobs! I would start enforcing no when it is not appropriate to nurse. Start weaning down the number of nursing sessions...based on the ones that you prefer gone first. It can still be done gentle but needs to be done firmly and consistently.

I do believe that when raising children we need to think ahead...are we setting our child and us up for issues later? I bedshared because I need it to survive and get more sleep and my child loved it. But, I bedshared in her room on a bed, next to the crib and she slept a good part of each day in the crib so she knew it as hers. in the long run this helped all of us.

AP gets a bad rap...but I find that that bad reputation is based on the mistaken belief that AP means ensuring the child is happy 100% of the time. And that, only sets them up for failure. It is much easier to teach and infant that life just plain sucks sometimes then to have them experience this for the first time when they are adults or teenagers and don't have a boob to run too for comfort.

But, what do I know for all I know we are not actually AP because we let our child cry when she doesn't get her way, say no, set boundaries and stick to them and yes I force her down when resisting a diaper change and I tackler her into her car seat when she wants nothing to do with it!