How would you handle this dilemma?

[playfelt]

I have termed a child going to JK in July when an ideal care situation presented itself and while I felt a tad guilty, I knew that they were never stuck because there is no shortage of high school kids looking for a summer job and the child would have loved the one on one for the summer and it would have been cheaper than what I charged anyways. I have only ever done it when the summer was involved meaning there were options.

[mickyc]

I would never get rid of a family early to accommodate someone new. The spots open when the spots open and that is that. It doesn't seem like very good business to me to drop someone for something better and that is just not the kind of person I am nor want to be. I know parents do it all the time but so be it.

[bright sparks]

I would never get rid of a family early to accommodate someone new. The spots open when the spots open and that is that. It doesn't seem like very good business to me to drop someone for something better and that is just not the kind of person I am nor want to be. I know parents do it all the time but so be it.

Some people don't have the luxury of choice though if they are in financial hardship and daycare is competitive in their area and/or it is a dry spell.

Here we are 4 months into 2014 and I have had double the enquiries that I had for the whole of 2013. I understand it isn't ideal, and not something I ever plan to do, but certain situations present themselves and neither of them may be 100% ideal but it is the question of the lesser of two evils. This may not be the OP's situation but....To a provider who is only getting calls once or twice a month, the worry of filling those spots could have really bad consequences. Stress, anxiety, depression, physical illness as a result of the stress, all because you are putting the needs of the other family before yours. If I was in this situation and the family didn't have any back up, no family in the area, I likely wouldn't replace but that would have a really bad impact on my life and my families well being, and even though it may be the "right" thing to do, it is of no benefit to me. It's just not as cut and dry as "Oh I would never do that" What about the providers whose husband gets laid off and their households only source of income is a daycare provider who has multiple days open but nothing they can fill because originally they took part timers on so have days all over the place. How many full time enquiries do they turn away in the best interest of their current clients even though they can't pay their mortgage and are defaulting on their credit card bills? What I am saying is that it's not fair to replace families "just because", and maybe it isn't "best business practice" but maybe it is what some people have to do to survive. Let's not be so harsh in our judgement of others in situations like this when we know not what it is like to walk in their shoes. It is not an ideal situation to be in and anyone with a heart would feel conflicted, but it doesn't make them bad people or bad providers.

[mickyc]

I didn't think I was being harsh. It still isn't something I would do. I rely heavily on my income and cannot afford to have a spot open either. I have a spot opening in a month and yes I have anxiety, worry as well, all the things you said but I still would not boot the family out that I have now just because someone needs a spot in 2 weeks. I have had a spot last year open for over a month, we made do, cut back, it kept me up at night etc. It is just the kind of person I am, I don't like it when families do it to me so I certainly wouldn't do it to any of them (and it has happened to me often). It is the hazards of working for ourselves and we need to be prepared in the event a spot cannot be filled. If the new family wants the spot bad enough they can make other arrangements while they wait for the spot to be open IMO.

This is just going to cause parents to not want to give much notice for fear they will loose their spot early. They will likely lie and then just give them minimum notice possible. I want as much notice as possible.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I understand what your saying bs. If it was a matter of a couple weeks and the family had alternate care then I would maybe (that's a big maybe tho) consider terming to accept the new family. However, in this situation, it's 3 and 5 months from now and I would think these spots could be filled in that time. Like I said earlier tho, I don't think terming early would benefit my business in the long run once word gets out.

I do agree though that we need to do what allows us to survive but how we do that will be different according to our personalities, morals and work ethics. There is no right or wrong way, just what we feel is the right choice for us and our business. It's a tough spot to be in for the OP and I wish her the best no matter what choice she makes!!

[bright sparks]

I understand what your saying bs. If it was a matter of a couple weeks and the family had alternate care then I would maybe (that's a big maybe tho) consider terming to accept the new family. However, in this situation, it's 3 and 5 months from now and I would think these spots could be filled in that time. Like I said earlier tho, I don't think terming early would benefit my business in the long run once word gets out.

I do agree though that we need to do what allows us to survive but how we do that will be different according to our personalities, morals and work ethics. There is no right or wrong way, just what we feel is the right choice for us and our business. It's a tough spot to be in for the OP and I wish her the best no matter what choice she makes!!

It's a tough spot to be in, I don't begrudge her tough decision. Last year I wasn't down on my numbers for a month or two, it was a full 12 months and my income was 1200 a month, down from just over 4000. Not even close to minimum wage before expenses. Prior to this I had on average 8 to 12 enquiries a month and then all of a sudden my town has now become saturated with stay at home mums charging $10-$15 less a day which people are more than willing to go with, so this wasn't something I could foresee happening after having 6/7 years never experiencing this, and having just bought a new place 2 months prior to the loss, I didn't have a years income sat in the bank. That is a huge difference, and while we managed it was at huge expense. My husband took a new job position and worked 60-70 a week which has dramatically effected his relationship with his children as a result of his absence. I wasn't presented with the same situation as the OP as there were just hardly any enquiries coming in for even unsociable hours let alone a normal part or full timer, but I would not put the needs of another family before my own if it cost me to do so. If that makes it seem to others like I have a poor character then so be it because they are not going to pay my bills or put food on my table. I have spent the majority of my time in this field prioritizing the needs of my daycare parents before mine and now I am paying the price. I have learnt my lesson through experience.

Referring back to what you said in an earlier post 5LM about a provider taking mat leave and a parent leaving early because the daycare is shutting...well it is just the same thing in my eyes. Why can't they stay till the date I am closing? Because they worry they won't get alternative care if they don't snatch that spot up when it presents itself which is fair enough although results in hardship for the provider. Well I think this is similar in that enquiries are not always consistent and there is the worry that you will turn those parents down now and then have a dry spell when your spots open. Yes it leaves your current parent in a tight spot now, but the parent leaving you early prior to mat leave, leaves you in a tight spot too. The same thing really.

That being said, I had two kids leave for school last September and I never bumped them because of other enquiries, even though they were scarce I still had September enquiries. I am just saying not to be so quick to judge (not aimed at anyone specific), and/or be so quick to say you would act one way or another until you are presented with this situation and have to face a difficult choice. I don't make any decision lightly which is evident in the simple fact that I have put off closing my daycare for a few years now to go to school for the benefit of my daycare families. One more year and I have fulfilled my commitment period and I will have no issue leaving the other families hanging. It's time I looked out for number one a little bit more! Somebody has to

[cfred]

I'm with MickeyC. I'd never let an existing client go to make room for a new one out of convenience. I totally get the need to put food on the table. As a single parent with a mortgage, children of my own, almost never getting child support and as many bills as anyone else, I'm still able to do that, even with empty spaces. Is it ideal? Not so much, but part of the job, in my mind. To each his/her own, but I can imagine that it could, as stated before, that a reputation for that sort of thing could become a problem in the future. I always factor in empty spaces. I NEED 3 kids to stay afloat. 4 kids is great. 5 is awesome and I tuck money away. I have 4 parents that have either just gone on mat leave or are going on it very soon. They were honest with me and we discussed options and they committed to paying me until the firm date they'd set to leave, regardless or when they actually did leave. This allowed me to advertise and subsequently fill all those spaces as soon as I knew they were pregnant and they'd had a month to think about what they wanted to do with the space.

[mickyc]

Something you also have to think about is that a new family is never a guarantee either. You may make room for a new family (by getting rid of one that is a guarantee for a set amount of time anyways) only to have the new family leave shortly after. So she gets rid of the old families for new ones and then the new ones find something better and leave and you end up having to fill again anyways - you have had to go through the transitioning etc but if you would have stuck with the old family to start with they you wouldn't have had that.

There is nothing that ticks me off more than me having multiple families to pick from, I pick a certain family and then in the end they leave in a few months. Apparently I was just a "good enough" provider until that spot opened up in the center! Drives me absolutely crazy but nothing you can do. It is all about honesty and being an honourable person. I always tell my families I am looking for long term parents but there are still ones that take advantage.

[mattsmom]

It's a tough spot to be in, I don't begrudge her tough decision. Last year I wasn't down on my numbers for a month or two, it was a full 12 months and my income was 1200 a month, down from just over 4000. Not even close to minimum wage before expenses. Prior to this I had on average 8 to 12 enquiries a month and then all of a sudden my town has now become saturated with stay at home mums charging $10-$15 less a day which people are more than willing to go with, so this wasn't something I could foresee happening after having 6/7 years never experiencing this, and having just bought a new place 2 months prior to the loss, I didn't have a years income sat in the bank. That is a huge difference, and while we managed it was at huge expense. My husband took a new job position and worked 60-70 a week which has dramatically effected his relationship with his children as a result of his absence. I wasn't presented with the same situation as the OP as there were just hardly any enquiries coming in for even unsociable hours let alone a normal part or full timer, but I would not put the needs of another family before my own if it cost me to do so. If that makes it seem to others like I have a poor character then so be it because they are not going to pay my bills or put food on my table. I have spent the majority of my time in this field prioritizing the needs of my daycare parents before mine and now I am paying the price. I have learnt my lesson through experience.

Referring back to what you said in an earlier post 5LM about a provider taking mat leave and a parent leaving early because the daycare is shutting...well it is just the same thing in my eyes. Why can't they stay till the date I am closing? Because they worry they won't get alternative care if they don't snatch that spot up when it presents itself which is fair enough although results in hardship for the provider. Well I think this is similar in that enquiries are not always consistent and there is the worry that you will turn those parents down now and then have a dry spell when your spots open. Yes it leaves your current parent in a tight spot now, but the parent leaving you early prior to mat leave, leaves you in a tight spot too. The same thing really.

That being said, I had two kids leave for school last September and I never bumped them because of other enquiries, even though they were scarce I still had September enquiries. I am just saying not to be so quick to judge (not aimed at anyone specific), and/or be so quick to say you would act one way or another until you are presented with this situation and have to face a difficult choice. I don't make any decision lightly which is evident in the simple fact that I have put off closing my daycare for a few years now to go to school for the benefit of my daycare families. One more year and I have fulfilled my commitment period and I will have no issue leaving the other families hanging. It's time I looked out for number one a little bit more! Somebody has to

Thanks, Bright Sparks. If I wasn't in this position, I might be quick to judge too, but since I am in this situation, it has been hard to figure out. I see what everyone else is saying, but the fact is that I have had so many parents over the years, just up and leave or give me almost no notice because either they found other care or Grandma will take the kids, etc. They don't think twice about screwing me over when it benefits them.
Maybe this makes me cynical when I comes to these things, and don't get me wrong, I know that 2 wrongs don't make a right. But I need to think about the fact that during the last 6 months or so, I have had a total of maybe 2 or 3 inquiries, then all of a sudden I get a few at a time and I don't know if I will have any more inquiries before these kids leave. Then I will have lost a great amount of my income at once, without anyone to fill the spots. Also, I have a fulltime child starting school in the fall as well, so that means lost income there as well.

I have spoken to the new mom and explained my situation and she has said she understands and is willing to work with me. Even if it means finding alternate care until the summer. I just hope it doesn't backfire on me. Lord knows, that has happened many times and I would always swear that I will never think about not putting my family's needs first.

[5 Little Monkeys]

You could also advertise now with the opening dates as July and September( if those are the correct months) and see if you can find children to fill for then. If June rolls around and you have had no interest, than you could consider the option of terming and accepting the new mom.

Have you spoke to the current parents and asked if they will for sure be staying until July and September or asked if they have alternate care if you need to fill the spots before then? If new mom can find alternate care until at least the first spot opens, that would be my preferred plan.