How much is too much?

[momma2two]

I have a DCB who still has 5 milk bottles a day. He is 22 months old and has two 8oz bottles-one at wake up and one before bed and then another THREE 6oz bottles at meal times. This seems really excessive. He is quite capable of eating the food we do but with that much milk he rarely eats anything and is extremely picky. Even if I offer lunch before the bottle he'll usually hold off and does not eat. I have talked to DCM and she keeps rhyming off the importance of milk and how she wants him to have these bottles. He is usually constipated and has the biggest black circles under his eyes which I would assume is from the consumption of that much dairy. I can see her wanting to have milk as a beverage while eating but not in a bottle and not to replace a meals. I don't want to over step my boundaries but it seems really excessive and with him not eating much it kind of bothers me?

[playfelt]

At 22 months all milk at daycare should be in a cup at the table not a bottle. If he still has a bottle at bedtime at home or first thing in the morning when he wakes up to parents. Mine have milk at all snacks and meals but it is 4 oz at each so only 12 ounces while in care. Never heard the connection between black circles and dairy - would consider circles a sign of not enough sleep or related to poor nutrition as in missing out on iron or certain vitamins from the food not being eaten. If the bottles are iron fortified formula that could be mom's answer to the picky appetite which just becomes a vicious circle.

[Lee-Bee]

That's 34oz of milk. Wayyyyy too much. I can't remember the recommended amounts but pretty sure it's something like 16-24oz max. As playfelt said it is a vicious cycle - the kid doesn't eat so mom feels the need to give lots of milk but the milk prevents the kid from needing to eat. Can you find some research that discusses the maximum recommended amounts and the negative impacts of too much milk? Maybe mom is just misinformed about the benefits of milk?

I would expect that even if you convince mom of lower the daily intake there will be a difficult period of the child still refusing to eat since the habit is there.

[mickyc]

That is way too much!!

I recently changed my contract. It now reads that all children must be weaned off bottles at daycare by 16 months. I don't care what they do at home but here no more! I just found every parent just keeping their child on longer and longer. Kids will eat they just need to be given the chance.

Just tell mom that you are going to be weaning child off bottles and only giving milk in a cup (I sure hope it is milk and not formula!!). Don't ask her. If she gets her nose out of joint then so be it but that is ridiculous! I had a similar situation although the child was 15 months and getting 2-3 bottles while in my care. I told mom we were weaning. She was not too keen on it but let me do my thing. Child still gets a bottle in the morning, on the car ride home from my place and likely 2 more at night. I also got rid of her soother here and she is totally fine. Mom pops it in her mouth the second the pick her up.

Good luck.

[Crayola kiddies]

I know not everyone agrees with me but .... Unless for a medical reason no child should have a bottle after 12 months .... Generally as soon as they can drink from a cup the bottles are gone .... The longer they wait the harder it will get not to mention the issue of dental problems. I generally don't even allow bottles at daycare .... So if the child can drink from a cup then pour the milk in the cup and give it only after the lunch had been finished. Give water at all other times the child is thirsty. I certainly hope you are not supplying all that milk or are washing bottles. You can suggest to the parent that he is not eating much lunch and you think maybe he's drinking too much milk and you are going to experiment giving it to him after he eats his meal.

[teddybeartots]

How does he have room for any solid food? Or is he even eating solids? This is excessive.

[momma2two]

Thanks Ladies! Took some of your suggestions and had a little chat with Mom. She's the one providing the milk thankfully I would never take on that expense! 3.25% Lactose Free milk isn't cheap and I was the one washing the bottles She told me they were trying to cut out the amount of milk he drinks so I told her I would start weaning it off while he's here. So no more bottles and just a sippy cup at lunch & dinner time with a small amount of milk.

[torontokids]

I would also suggest to you/the parents that milk be given only after the meal, not with the meal so not to fill him up

[momma2two]

Well I guess I rubbed mom the wrong way with my concerns of the amount of milk being consumed. She found a new daycare. She's just that type of person though. She has had 5 different jobs since her son has been in care with me and it is NEVER her fault. She has the "woe is me" attitude and she is always hard done by. It's a blessing in disguise to be honest. She told me that next week would be his last week but I decided that it would be best if the last day of care be yesterday in lieu of the situation. Takes all kinds to make the world go round!

[Momof4]

A couple of things: I don't wash bottles, I rinse them and send them home for washing and good for you for nudging the Mom into making the change. There's no hard and fast rule for me because currently I have 1 child who drinks milk at lunch, one baby who has a goat's milk bottle before his nap and the other 3 don't drink any kind of milk, just water.

I'm sorry you lost this client but happy that you are seeing it as a blessing in disguise. If parents aren't willing to work with us, so be it!