1) If her contract states 24hrs after vomiting then yes you are in the wrong for risking exposing the other children to the stomach bug. It's also important to remember that different children and different ages respond differently to bugs so while your child may have only thrown up once, another might not be able to keep anything down for a few days, dehydration, etc.
2) If her contract requires your child to be fever free, then again, you shouldn't be bringing in your child even with a low grade fever. It simply isn't fair to your provider to have to care for your ill child and then deal with the exposure. I am not a "rush to the doctor" for every thing either, but if she has a policy that you had originally agreed to, you must respect it.
3) That all being said, the way the provider and her husband handled this was TERRIBLE. I would never ask my husband to text anyone, let alone with crap like that! Obviously, she knew he did it because how else would he get all your phone numbers? It was extremely unprofessional and quite honestly, it would get me too annoyed to be able to stay there. I also wouldn't be going in to get a doctor's note. If your child has been diarrhea, vomit and fever free for over 24hrs then as per HER policy your child should be welcomed back into care. If she is adamant, then it sounds like your aren't a right fit for each other any longer, and it may be time to move on and find a new provider that you gel with
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