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  1. #1
    Shy
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    Help with crying baby 9 months

    Looking for some good advices. Anytime I get a child that cry for a week I know I will terminate or the parents pulled their child.

    I started a new baby 9 month old this week. She came Tuesday cry all morning. She is only part-time three days a week. So baby A is here again crying. Baby A was home with the grandparents for two days so I can tell that she was spoiled by them and being held.
    So this is Baby A today:
    Arrived at 6:45am cried until 8:15am and fell asleep.
    Woke up at 10am and had formula and cry then stop then cry.
    She will not eat. Baby decided to cry from 11 to 12 herself to sleep.
    She is raising her hand for me to hold her but she will still cry but if I walk with her she will stop. But it is all well for me to do it but I have four other kids in care that need me.
    I talked to mom. Mom decided to put her in full-time for two weeks to see if she will adjust. Mom is working. Mom told me that she now start to put her down to cry it out to sleep. Not sure if it is true. But this child cry all day all the time. Please help me what to do or any advice

  2. #2
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    this has got to be so so hard, and so so frustrating! can you put her in a baby carrier to help her form attachment to you for a few weeks?

  3. #3
    Euphoric !
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    Unfortunately, I think that only time and patience will help this situation. It is good that mom is going to bring her full-time for at least the 2 weeks. I always find that kids who come part time take two or even three times longer to adjust to daycare.
    Keep in mind that 2 days is not that long, and although I know that your nerves are wearing thin, it's still pretty early to say "she is not adjusting".
    I think that the idea of a baby carrier is a good one, then gradually transitioning her to sitting/playing on her own. Keep the lines of communication with mom and dad open, tell them honestly how she does each day, and what you are doing to help her. Hope to heavens that they really are working with you (letting her self soothe, etc). If at the end of the 2 week period you have seen NO improvement (she will likely still cry, but is it getting better?) then perhaps let mom know that she needs to be in a more one-on-one care environment, for now at least.

  4. #4
    Shy CountryMommy's Avatar
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    What ages are the other children in your care?

    A baby carrier is a great idea. Seems to me like the poor girl has some intense separation anxiety and needs some patience, love, and assurance. In addition to the carrier, maybe you could try setting a certain time each day to spend some quality, alone time this child? Preferably at the same time each day so she knows it's coming? Make the days as predictable as possible for her so that she can gain security from knowing what to expect. Be loving but consistent with her. You could try a variety of things to see what makes it easier on her, from filling the days up with fun activities, to the baby carrier, to alone time with her, etc. Be patient while trying different things and hopefully soon she will have adjusted to your home and she will be fine.

    I agree that you need to be open and honest with the parents. Let them know that their daughter is having a hard time adjusting, so that if it's just not improving, you can let them know it's just not working and they won't feel like termination is coming "out of the blue."

  5. #5
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    I feel for you! I have cared for 2 babies in the past year plus raises my own baby daughter this year and it's very hard. She needs tons of love and assurance, and holding and carrying her is what she needs right now to form these attachments to you. As she learns her trust and confidence she will become more independent and less needy. Hang in there if you can, the good parts just around the corner. Ergo carriers are great, or maybe a wrap?

  6. #6
    Shy
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    Mom and dad is on the same page. Great communication with them.
    She is here today not eating, only drank 6ozs formula nothing else. She slept 40 mins fir the entire day. Screaming and screaming thru out nap time. Should I let her CIO during nap time

  7. #7
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    Oh no, please hold her, rock her, cuddle with her. She needs warm arms holding her. She is 9 months, no baby can be spoiled. Letting a child cry himself to sleep, it is sending the message that we don't want to answer their need.


  8. #8
    Euphoric !
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    I do agree that a baby cannot be spoiled by holding her too much and that babies need to be held a lot and cuddled, etc. However, in a group care environment, it is not always possible to hold and rock a baby while caring for all the other small children. I think you could try holding and cuddling her a fair amount during her awake times, but also putting her down to explore so that she learns that it is a safe place for her to play and that she doesn't need to rely on you all the time for comfort. I would actually let her cry at naptime until she understands that it is time to sleep. She needs much more than 40 minutes of sleep at this age and if she go and take her out sometimes, then she will be confused about what she is supposed to do. I had to do this with a 15 month old and once she learned the routine and that I couldn't hold her all the time, although I didn give lots of cuddles at appropriate times, she began to calm down. I think routine and dependability are key to making a child feel safe and happy. Once the child can predict what will happen next, it will take the uncertainty out of things and help them understand how things work in your home.

  9. #9
    Shy
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    DCG has done better today. I have been sitting on the floor with her and the kids. Yes she will sit on me and still screams, so with this said it is the baby missing mom (separation part). She will take off and play but cry in between this morning. So I am seeing progress today. Food no. She is having her formula. She is not napping well today half hour only and is crying right thru nap time. No I am not taking her out of the playpen.

  10. #10
    Euphoric !
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    Glad to hear that (slooowwwwlllyyyy) things are getting better with this little girl. I agree that lots of hugs and snuggles and reassurance during waking times are required, with slow transition to her being a lot more independent. But I think at naptime, I am with kangaroomama in that she needs a naptime routine and a bit of a cry-out when required. That is an unfortunate aspect of multi-child care. We as providers simply do not have the luxury of attachment sleep training. I would cuddle her while putting her down on a decreasing schedule (ie; 10 minutes at first, or as needed, then 8 the next day, then 5, and so on).
    Good luck, and hang in there!!

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