Some parents who don't want to be around their kids

[Artsand crafts]

Wow...it's a little harsh in here! No one actually knows, in all cases, what these parents are doing with their bit of free time while the kids are at daycare. We all know from our own busy lives that sometimes it's just easier to get things done without the little gaffers around. I'd probably be taking advantage of that time to do the bigger jobs I couldn't do with toddlers swinging from my apron strings....or...god forbid...take a day to myself. I've sent my own off to care (before my own daycare days) when I really didn't need it. I was a stay at home mother and my 2 went for the mornings at a local daycare centre. If I'd been able to afford it, they would have stayed for nap too! I don't think that makes me a bad or inattentive parent. It makes me someone with some free time to get stuff done without stopping every 2 seconds. Bless all of you who love juggling a pile of kids while doing your yard work, home renovations, house work, what have you. Not all of us love that and if there's a daycare space there, paid for and available, then why wouldn't a parent use it? I love my kids but have never had qualms about leaving them in care if I needed some time. And to this day, though I love my kids, I also have no qualms about leaving them behind and taking off for a vacation for a week by myself. I also love my sanity. I'd be so offended if I was a parent reading some of these comments in here.

Why not get help for kids once in a while for a home renovation, or another project that could be even dangerous for the kids to be around, but every single vacation time and being the first one to be dropped off and last one to picked up ??? God forbid to spend a little extra time with their child! I just read in another forum about a family taking a week vacation overseas and leaving the older boy at daycare and with care of family of friends and family and taking the 10 mos baby with them. Dad is a pilot so budget does not look to be a problem there. What else can it be other than considering the older one a burden during their vacation time.

After experiencing with that kind of parents myself it does not get me as it used to be any more. I feel bad for the child, but there is nothing I can do about it.

[mattsmom]

I had only one here today as well. I try not to be bothered by it, but the funny thing was that she was dropped off because dcm said she had to do yard work... Which is exactly what I had to do. And did do. With her kid and my two! (And don't worry, nothing dangerous!)

And that's the thing I find funny. I can get so much done with a gaggle of children with me including yard work, weeding the garden, doing laundry. Heck, on the Fridays, in the summer, when my family is getting ready to go camping, I can pack, get the trailer packed, make food while the little ones are napping and be ready as soon as the parents come. I also have taken daycare babies with me to numerous doctors appointments just so parents don't complain about having to take a morning off!

I too, don't understand how these parents can't seem to do menial tasks with one child that I can get done looking after 4 or 5.

[5 Little Monkeys]

And that's the thing I find funny. I can get so much done with a gaggle of children with me including yard work, weeding the garden, doing laundry. Heck, on the Fridays, in the summer, when my family is getting ready to go camping, I can pack, get the trailer packed, make food while the little ones are napping and be ready as soon as the parents come. I also have taken daycare babies with me to numerous doctors appointments just so parents don't complain about having to take a morning off!

I too, don't understand how these parents can't seem to do menial tasks with one child that I can get done looking after 4 or 5.

I understand what you mean. However, most of us choose this profession because we enjoy kids and are good at what we do and are capable of multi-tasking. There are a lot of jobs that my dc parents do that I know I couldn't. I have been told by many that what I do takes a special person but I think lots of jobs require special people and that's what makes different personalities so great I had one mom who told me that she is a better mom because of dcp's....she knew her son was in good hands during the day while she worked and than she was able to enjoy her children in the evenings and days off because she wasn't stressed. She knew that she couldn't be a sahm and I respected her for this. I know quite a few sahm's whose children would benefit so much more in dc. It might be harsh but for some families, it's reality IMO.

I also totally understand when kids want to come to dc rather than staying home. I don't think it's bad on the parents part....most (but not all!)kids would rather play with friends than stay home IME. I have a coupe kids who don't want to go home at the end of the day and I know it's not because home life is horrible, just that dc life is so fun!!

I have only had parents send them on the odd day off, I have never had parents on holidays and still send their child. The reduced fee probably helps this but I think for the most part, the parents truly do want to spend time with their kids. I totally agree with how some kids and parents just don't get along tho! Lol. I can see why they might want a few days to themselves!

[nschildcare]

This gets my goat, too. I don't begrudge parents time to themselves but there is no way they need to leave a child, from open to close, every time they have a day off.

In my case, dcg2 is left here for almost 11 hours a day, whether mom and dad work or not. They never pick up early and I can count on one hand how many times they have kept her home willingly in the year and a half she has been coming.

This child is also pawned off on grandparents on weekends.

Guess who has the most behaviour issues?

I feel badly for the kids and for the parents. One day they will realize what they missed out on. Maybe.

[cfred]

Yeah, I can see the point on the open to close thing. But other than that, I'd have no issue with it. I have a client who had wanted to keep their child home on their day off, but he pitched a fit as he wanted to come here. Personally, that gave me the warm fuzzies Of course, it HAS happened, on occasion, that everyone was home but one kid and that kind of bugs me....not for the child but for purely selfish reasons

[Wonderwiper]

I'm with cfred....I don't care and it's none of my business what parents are doing while their kids are with me! I have more than enough going on to get my knickers in a knot over this. If I am open, come on in! The more the merrier for me, I don't find it easier to have less kids...my group is easier when everyone is here!

[mickyc]

I have a problem with it for a few reasons. I rarely close, take max 10 days off here and there throughout the year all because I hate inconveniencing my families. I know this is my own doing and my fault but sometimes it would be nice to have a break from the kids too. I would love to actually be finished work early on occasion too. I don't have a problem if a parent has the day off and has an appointment, is painting their living room etc. but there is no need for them to be here the minute I open and the last to pick up minutes from when I close. It really makes me feel taken advantage of sometimes.

I have started offering a $5 discount to families who give me one month's notice of day's their child will be away. It is working for the most part! More parents are taking advantage of it and taking time away with their kids. It is nice for the other kids too when I only have 1 or 2 because we go on field trips that we wouldn't normally do as I can only fit 3 in my vehicle.

Pretty sad day when the child would prefer to spend the day at daycare instead of home with the parent. That should be the parent's first clue!

[cfred]

Pretty sad day when the child would prefer to spend the day at daycare instead of home with the parent. That should be the parent's first clue!

Not sad at all! They're wonderful parents and very attentive. The kid just loves me, that's all. He also sees me outside daycare (as all the kids do on occasion). As I've said in the past, I'm close with many of my families and this is just an offshoot of it. I spent New Year's Eve at this particular boy's home and he came with his parents to visit me following my surgery. Even with my freaky scarred face, he still ran up to me. There is always (ALWAYS) a grand reception from him when he catches sight of me. It's flat out adorable! I think you've missed the mark there....sometimes they just really enjoy daycare and it's an extension of their family, which is a lovely thing to behold

[mickyc]

I think it is so important for a child to spend time with their parent when they can especially if the parents are home. I think it is great the kids love you so much but they need that time with their parent first and foremost IMO. I have my daughter with me everyday with all the daycare kids and there is still nothing better than a day off together. It makes me sad that parents don't want to see more of their children.

I guess it just all stems from the fact that my husband is divorced and barely got to see his kids grow up. Now they are grown up and those years are lost.

[bright sparks]

I think it's easy for everyone to judge the parents staying at home but none of us have all the facts necessary to make an accurate judgement on the where and why of things. How does anyone ACTUALLY know that the parent sat on her ass all day and ACTUALLY thought "thank god I have the day away from my child" ?? A lot of what has been said on here does imply that this is what is thought of those parents or could easily be interpreted as so, but the fact is none of us know. Perhaps yes the doctors appointment is only for an hour but maybe the parent can get a lot of other things done while they are out which would be slowed down if their child was in tow. What about those parents who struggle to keep themselves together and self-care needs to prioritized for their mental well being. This actually makes them better parents and is in the best interest of the child and the child is left with a daycare provider who has an educational program, is helping their child develop well and providing a safe environment for them while the parent does what they may have to do to keep themselves together, all be it that for some, this may simply be lying in bed all day.

I believe that it may be a shame for the child to be dropped off at opening time and picked up right at closing time, but how about instead of being passive and tip toeing around the situation, you state with confidence that you would like the parent to pick up and drop off at slightly different times to make the day shorter for them. It's your business and if you don't like the way a parent is acting then say something. If you don't feel you can, then IMO the chances are that it's because it oversteps the boundary of a daycare providers role and just highlights the fact that this is simply a difference in parenting styles.

People leaving one sibling with grandparents and not the other while they go away is something that I could never do and taking two weeks off and not spending any of those days with my child is again something I would never do, but this isn't about me and there is nothing I can do to change these people so it's wasted energy getting angry about someone else's actions that do not effect me. I also doubt it will scar the child for life enough for them to be an alcoholic....if you actually research causes for addictions this wouldn't necessarily stand out as a common cause? Also the child at this age would be happy as long as they are loved by someone, and children don't even form long term memories until approx 3yrs old so I don't think we need to over react about. How is it any different TO THE CHILD, if they don't see a parent all day because they are at home or if they are at work? The kid, at least for our general age group, are none the wiser and aren't any worse off as long as who they are with loves them and cares for them.