Some parents who don't want to be around their kids

[bright sparks]

I am also one who would never vacation on my own. My sister is always wanting to go on a trip to Vegas and I keep refusing. I would rather take my husband and my child and Yes I do find it hard to understand why she doesn't want to do the same.

I was one of those women who thought I would never have children and struggled many years before having my daughter. I think it gives me a different perspective on spending time with my daughter.

I agree it likely gives you a different perspective, but not a better one. My mother had 3 miscarriages and both my brother and I are adopted. Like many people, but definitely not all and likely not the majority, when trying for a child for many many years, sight can be lost of why a person wanted children in the first place. Struggling to conceive does not make a person more likely to treat their child any better than someone who conceived easily. I suffered severe neglect as a child and it was down to the individuals that were my parents, but not reflective by the fact that "initially" I was a more wanted child, apparently. I wanted my children as much as anyone who struggled to conceive, but that doesn't effect how I parent my child or how much time I choose to spend with them growing up.

I think a lot of the problem with feeling frustrated about not understanding another persons choices and actions is this prenotion that we need to understand. It's not our life, essentially none of our business, and we don't need to understand, just respect the wishes of others and try our best not to be so judgemental of those who choose to do things differently than us. Most of the time, we don't have all the information to make a proper call anyway, and without being in that persons shoes, or in their head space we don't see a situation for what it truly is. I shake my head at things others do, but If it doesn't effect me, or hurt anyone then I really would be doing myself a favour by getting over it.