Diversity?

[Fun&care]

So one of my clients gave me their notice last night. They were on a wait list for a center around here and they got a call that there was opening in September. Which is the good part...at least I got plenty of notice and I do appreciate that. Only thing that is bothering me....is their reason for leaving. I'll give it to you straight; we are all white, DCB and his family are black. She said one of the reasons she chose center care was because she thought there would be more "diversity"....m y first thought is WTF? DCB is very happy here and adjusting so well, but she is yanking him out because of skin color? Honestly I don't know what to think. Goes to show racism goes both ways, although maybe calling racism is harsh, I don't know.

Adding to that is my frustration that I feel I am the "wait list daycare" around here. I am a French/French immersion daycare so I cater mostly to French Canadians and they definitely seem to prefer center care. As soon as something opens up they yank their happy child out of here and they are gone. I bumped into one of my old clients actually and he had said how difficult the transition was for their daughter when they left me and went to the local center ( she never cried ONCE with me, in fact she would cry because she didn't want to leave). Which leaves me scratching my head as to why these parents leave in the first place?!?! It's frustrating...i have two spots that I have been filling every six months for the past while and though I am thankful I don't have too much difficulty filling them because I am the only french daycare around, it's sucks to have to do that much transitioning and never see your group age together.

And this one, leaving because of diversity...hmmm I don't know

[bright sparks]

I kind of understand why they would think that and I don't think it was meant in any negative way towards you or that fact that you are Caucasian and they are not. When I first came to Canada my kids went to school with people of multiple cultural backgrounds, obviously being Canada, but also of different race and I loved it. 4 years on we moved to a smaller town for the fact that we lived in a semi next to the neighbour from hell and to move to a detached house within the city and my kids school boundary would have cost us close to 200k more at the time. The town we live in now is much smaller and the minority races can be missed if you blink, they are almost non existence. I don't think this is detrimental to my children's upbringing but if I am honest, I miss them being surrounded by people from Africa, Asia and other places like they were in the city. I have tried my best to raise them to be anti-oppressive and as immigrants ourselves they have had a very different childhood so far than say me for example, growing up in the UK where racism is like a disease. Anyway, I guess what I am getting at is that perhaps this woman wants her children to be around diversity to prevent them from feeling like a minority. Maybe it is a good thing or a bad thing that she pulled them, but she is likely doing what she feels is best, which will likely be from her experience so I wouldn't think bad of her and don't think it is racist. I don't necessarily think there would be an easy way to explain this to someone, but while there shouldn't be an issue with the colour of skin, there still is and a mother will simply do what she feels is best for her children and I respect that. As a white person, I have no first hand idea what it must be like to be a minority in a predominantly white society so I can only hazard a guess based on what I have seen.

[dodge__driver11]

I am really sorry about that fun and care.

There was a stint there too where I felt that I was a "waitlist dayhome," and of course nobody was being the least bit honest about it..Oh well A plus! (say that with a french accent lol, my first language was French) But is soon remedied and I got f/t clients. As for the diverse thing...For a while I had one mom who thought that her boy was being singled out because he was the only "white one"

We are strange (some) I could care less as long as it is a client....

Comme je dis toujours .... Les gens vont chercher par eux-mêmes d'abord ... Parfois pour de mauvaises raisons.

I hope that makes sense, my writing in french is sometimes subpar because its been so long.

[mickyc]

I hear you! I have also felt like the "wait list daycare" for awhile now too. It just seems like parents are so quick to go to a different daycare if the grasser looks somewhat greener. I know it is terrible to say this but I always hope they have a bad experience and realize how good I was! I have had the satisfaction of hearing a few did lol.

As for pulling a child because there was more diversity in the center - oh well so be it. I don't understand why a parent would move a child when they are happy where they are for any reason really. oh well

[Fun&care]

Yes, for the most part I think I feel like honestly, I don't know what it's like to be in the minority, so what do I know? But there is that other part of me that feels like it's a bit of an insult for her to leave because she was the minority...she has only been here since January, how does she know that I may have signed on another "minority" child? Bleh...I don't want to brood over this too much, I can't always put myself in others shoes, but it sure has got me scratching my head.

[Fun&care]

@mickyc yep I have had the satisfaction to hear that the grass ain't always greener lol and this one family agreed to be one of my references and gave me RAVE reviews so much so that the person I was interviewing at the time was really impressed and talked to me about this review at length lol....it's just weird!!!

@dodge Merci!

[cfred]

One thing you could consider, that might help, is bringing more diversity into your daycare in other forms. Could that help? This is a concern I've had in the past and have been conscious of not coming across too 'WASPY', which our previous town was. I'm trying hard to bring in cultural diversity by way of books, activities, discussions and toys. When I'm planning a trip, we discuss where I'm going, I show them on a map and we look at pictures and things about the area. Often, I'll also make a food to go along as well. When I return, there's always something to show and often a little trinket to take home. I've been trying to teach the the Hakka from my trip to NZ, but so far, it's a little painful. I also found some really great baby dolls on ebay! I'm getting some of them from different ethnic backgrounds...they'r e really cool!

[Fun&care]

That's a great suggestion cfred, you made me realize I could get a few different dollies as sure enough, the ones we have are all Caucasian...thx! Although I have plenty of diversity among my little people figurines at least

[nschildcare]

The diversity issue, I get. That I completely understand.

I can't see why they would pull a settled child from a french hdc to a french centre... and that would have me frustrated, too, unless they were upfront about them being on a waitlist with you?

The only thing I can think of is that some parents may think that the centre has a certain "prestige" and want their children enrolled there simply because of that.

I don't know. It was brought up once to me during an interview, that the family was looking for a temporary spot until an opening became available in the centre of their choice. I thanked them for their honesty but didn't accept them for many other reasons.

[bright sparks]

I also have a number of books depicting other family models outside the nuclear, showing diversity of race, age, sexuality and ability. I don't make a big deal out of it so as to try and respect parent's choices but I make it a normal part of my program and available to all children in the hopes that they will at least develop tolerance and differences and an open and anti oppressive opinion towards others....at least to the extent a child can at this point. As soon as I show parents pictures of how happy their sons are playing with dolls they pretty much all go out and buy one for their son to have at home. I think that at least is becoming more common. My group is all boys right now and there are just days where I will lose my mind if I see any more cars lol but no matter what, a boy can make an automobile out of anything. Last time we had the dolls out, my 2 1/2 dcb was pretending his doll was a plane lol cutest thing ever.