The drawn out drop offs are painful !!! I have had my fill of those !!! I am not a fan of allowing tantrums at that age , I def allow crying and give lots of space for a child to have his/her upset time . I carry on as usual and allow the child to self soothe and then join us when they are ready . I try to make as little attention as possible .
With eating it does take time ! Especially if she doesn't recognize the healthy food you are serving !! This is a issue for me !! Too !!
I am not sure how long I would continue ! But I wish you lots of luck !!