What I really think.....

[myrealthoughts]

I have been around this forum for a very long time, and I have to say..and this is not drama seeking...That I am very intimidated to post my views on a variety of topics, as I know I will be "razed" or "taken to the cleaners for my POV." These are my feelings I am not saying I am better than any of you, I simply need to say this.

A number of you have posted that it gets you angry, when parents leave their kids with you, and they are not working....I have to say....So??? I know that you don't like when others say it, but I will anyway. Our doors are open to provide a service, and as long as policies are being followed, and you are truly not being taken for a fool what is the big deal?

When my child was with a provider, I sent my child on all open days, because the spot after all was reserved for our family use. And he loved having the time with his daycare friends, and the provider was someone he really loved....

Now that being said I certainly did not throw it in my DCP's face that this is what I was doing; but to be honest, I didn't want to "hurt her" or be told that this was wrong or be made to feel guilty. So I was not honest about the days that were not being used for non work purposes. But she could always contact someone in the event of an urgent matter, or emergency....Because Let's face it some of you have shared your opinion about this, and if she feels like any of you...I did not want to be confronted about why my child was not at home.

I respected her rules, did not arrive early etc, all the stuff I was supposed to do, so why am I being "chastised" for using my spot? (Based on some of the posts I read) Contrary to what you may think after reading this part of my post my child is very much loved, and knows that we as parents are here for him, anytime he needs us.

We did not dump our toddler his daycare and leave the kid there right until closing time. We told him what time we would be back, and kept our word almost every time, and when we were not able to be there we explained that to him as best as we could... in terms that he could understand. (not often)

Fast forward to 2014, he is now a school ager, who is confident in himself, others, and someone who understands when others need to step in...(for example in school or sports) as authority figures. He has no trouble making friends, or understanding that both his mom and dad love him...There is not a doubt in his mind. He tells me how much he loves us every day, and is well adjusted in every aspect of social and educational development.

And guess what he goes to camp, we go places without him, and he takes healthy risk his teachers are impressed about his emotional awareness, all of that...... He is well liked, and does not have the behavioral issues that some have alluded to in their forum posts, and vents....

I do not expect parents to give me a day off, if their family are the only ones in care today, I make the best of it. I have taken a "lone dck" shopping, to movies etc, and parents know that the routine is more relaxed if they are the only one in attendance. I have had parents elect that their child stay with them if everyone else is absent, but it is not an expectation. I am not at all offended that children are attached to me, it shows that I am doing my job, and that these children can show healthy emotions to those who help them in the early years of their childhood.

On the other hand if a parent is not respecting my policies, and is consistently abusing the privilege of their space that I have issue with, and it is only a matter of time before they are terminated regardless of how they elect to "use the child care space."

It is not my job to police parenting or judge, as there comes a time in everyone's life, where they will face something and just need someone to be there without bias or judgment. Do I have opinions about my daycare families?.... yes, but for the most part they know what those are and I am open enough to tell them how I feel.....(unless it is pointless to share)

You may ask if this leads to "resentment" no....Really it doesn't, in fact these parents trust me enough to leave the child with me overnight, during an adult only vacation, or when they are ill... (the parent) The type of relationship I have with my clients is one of trust, and that is what I value most..... (I also not provide any of my services for free, and am paid fairly for what I do)

It makes me feel sad that I cannot post this under my real name, because of bullies who will tell me that I am out of my gourd for doing extra, or that I am a unicorn provider with rainbows coming out of my butt....

I am just a realistic person, I mean really, its what works for me... and I should not be made to feel that I suck because I have these opinions, I am rather just someone who does her best. Her best to leave her judgy pants off, (in regards to parenting style, etc) while finding a great balance between identity, marriage and family.