My son was a bad bed wetter and I do believe that when the odds are already against the child as you explained likely due to you and your husband, I think the pull up just makes it worse. It's already difficult for her but the pull up still gives her a free pass. Yes underwear is messy when accidents happen but by not allowing these accidents to happen I think it increases the problem.
Yes you have daycare kids in the morning but if you are organized then it's doable. It's a pain in the ass but I think it will probably help her more in the long run versus just waiting it out in the hopes she will just grow out of it I suppose. Have spare sheets ready next to her bed and the washer empty and ready to go, get her up 30 minutes earlier and shower her. My son had upwards of 6 accidents a day till grade 1 and 50% of the time had an accident in bed. You will very quickly be able to get her in and out of the shower cleaned in 5 minutes. Mornings are busy but with good planning is not that big of a deal just a bit more hassle but it is in the best interests of your child. I don't believe in telling a child off for accidents but don't down play it either. While she likely isn't doing it on purpose it still isn't okay so there needs to be some communication to her about this which is not "it's okay it's just an accident" if this is happening regular. She needs to be more concious of the signs that she needs to go. It's one thing not to wake up to pee due to what you were saying but pooping is not the same.

































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