Increasingly nervous parents

[bright sparks]

Okay so nervous is putting it politely, neurotic is more like it. There are just more and more parents I find who are completely out of their minds when it comes to the facts surrounding a child's well being. This is a vent, and I don't pretend to not have my own issues with certain things surrounding my kids, who are older, but I always made sure to research the facts and back things up rather than just take someone at their word. Those dreaded letters MD are really giving unwarranted reassurance to parents once again in an area they are not trained in...Nutrition.

In this situation it doesn't help that the child in question is my AP kid who by the way is doing terrific overall with only a few occasional bumps in the road when his mother struggles not to fall into old habits with him. He is now 15 months old and a gorgeous little fella. He plays well, talks up a storm and eats like a champ. His naptimes are also like clockwork and he rarely is unable to sooth himself, just the same as any other child really who has an off day. His mom is lovely, just a funny bird in the way she does certain things, but whatever, some things just aren't worth stressing over. This isn't either, but I want to just offload it and move on. Vent, headshake and be done

He had vaccinations scheduled yesterday, the MMR, and dad takes him and no one will touch this kid with his needles because he has an egg allergy and want it done at the allergists office. Dad brings me to daycare frustrated with this decision when the family dr knows of the allergy and should have know ahead of time, but I reassure dad that everyone likely wants to be extra cautious and even though it sounds disorganized that this should happen, its probably for the best. I really just wanted to try and diffuse the situation as he was pissed off. He went to work clearing feeling better for talking it out with me and then messages me 2 hours later to say the dr's office had called them back in and were now willing to do the vaccinations. Dad picked up, further frustrated, understandably so and said he would keep his son home for the rest of the day after the jabs. Dad is super laid back about parenting unlike mom.

Little guy comes this morning and mom doesn't even say hello just has a funny look on her face and sighs loudly so Im all like, whats wrong and she tells me that her little guy is struggling to walk from the needle in his leg and wont use his arms to feed himself and he must be in lots of pain but that otherwise he is super happy and his usual self. Well...he is either his usual self or he isn't!?! I said that if it was that bad she should have kept him home, she protested that he is fine just limping and guarding his arms. Well he looked fine to me, no fever etc so I took him from moms arms and said I would call if there were any issues. I shut the door, placed him on the ground and off he goes walking normally, pointing at my son eating breakfast and grabs a balloon floating in my living room. I just shook my head and really wasn't that surprised that mom would say this. I do not like to question a parent and their concerns generally because there is nothing worse than when you take your child to the doctors and feel like a fool when nothing is wrong, so I just carried on with our morning and he was a little on the quiet side, but that's because she gave him Tylenol which she told me about at drop off. She did not dope and run, she simply wanted to give him something for the discomfort which is fine by me if a parent is upfront about things.

I get a message about 1 1/2 hrs after drop off saying she has called the drs office to ask if his behaviour was normal and asked me to check if his leg and arms were swollen or red because hubby changed him this morning and probably didn't look. I took both band aids off the arms and you have to squint to even see the pin prick marks and as their was no band aid on his leg I can't even find a mark on either of them. Zero redness or swelling so I just responded with those facts and said he is just his usual happy self.

Then to top that off, she has just text me now to say the dr has said she is very concerned that he is not gaining weight and that she should no longer give him any water but always whole milk. Oh my goodness. This child is shooting up like a weed and is very active so Im sure this is why, but he is not to thin at all, not even on the thin side, just average with some baby fat still to snuggle. Like this mother needs any more encouragement to jump at every little thing, not even every little thing but when there is nothing at all to worry about.

I understand as a mother of two older kids its easy for me to say, and I don't blame her all together for what I consider over reacting when she has a dr who is equally as neurotic but oh yeah MD means that what they say is 100% correct 100% of the time!!! Not. I kind of wish for that mother type who read their baby book cover to cover and thinks that that is exactly the way child development should go. At least in general they were the type who could be shown the error of their ways and that their child was not a character from a book lol Oh I know I am so judgy judgy and sterotyping but Im really just offloading. Thank goodness she is actually a nice person but there is almost something every week that she goes over the top with so I'm allowed to vent a bit surely I also have a parent who has started night feeds again because their child woke up once or twice and she couldn't come up with a reason why they woke up and didn't give them the chance to self sooth and get themselves back to sleep. This child is 20 months old and now almost daily I have to deal with mums insistent complaining about him waking up every night even though I have kindly suggested that the night feeds have now got him into a routine of waking up for a bottle!!

I'm thankful they are good here though!!

[5 Little Monkeys]

I know what you mean. It does seem that more and more parents are "helicopter parents" and are increasingly more nervous. I'm pretty laid back (I think lol) so those types of parents don't usually mesh well in my dc. However, too laid back of parents don't fit in either. There are so many different types of parents though that it is rare that I ever have a full group of parents that I like. (well not that I dislike them, we just do things differently) There's always that one or two that are so opposite from me and how we treat their child.

I would gladly take a helicopter parent right now though over this drooling child!! lmao

[mickyc]

Oh I hear ya too. Always something that is annoying with each child/family.

[bright sparks]

I try hard not to let it get to me to much but obviously with today's antics I needed to let off a bit of steam. I have had a laid back parent before which is probably worse as it's so hard to see a parent "appear" to not care. Funny things is the AP child's mom is sometimes super laid back in certain areas. This week, day 4, child is still wearing the same clothes, right down to his socks which are visibly dirty today and banana is on the sleeves of his shirt. He doesn't look to bad but it's just another reason to shake my head especially when she told me she only bathes him once a week at the most. That's all good and we'll but at least a fresh set of clothes daily would be an idea.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I understand needing to let off steam...I just vented about the drooling child on my necklace thread lol.

That is odd...4 days of wearing the same clothes is gross, especially when they are visibly dirty and have food on them. Is it a money thing...do they not have a lot of clothes for him? Do they have to do laundry at a laundromat? I wonder what the reason behind it is.

[2cuteboys]

I agree. I've never had a full-copter type parent, but I have one attachment-y type who will point out any little scratch or red mark her child has at the end of the day. She's never accusatory, in fact she'll say "oh I never even know how he gets these at home" or "these things happen." But she feels the need to mention it every.damn.time.

I think it's ok to get annoyed with certain things families do. We wouldn't like every single thing about everyone we worked with out of the house right? We can be professional despite our differences, right?

[bright sparks]

I understand needing to let off steam...I just vented about the drooling child on my necklace thread lol.

That is odd...4 days of wearing the same clothes is gross, especially when they are visibly dirty and have food on them. Is it a money thing...do they not have a lot of clothes for him? Do they have to do laundry at a laundromat? I wonder what the reason behind it is.

I really just think it's not a big deal to them. They both earn above average wages I'm certain of it with their home and cars and careers...an audi and an aura both SUV's. She makes a joke out of the fact that she can't manage to put him in a matching pair of socks and she laughs it off when she regular shows up without his shoes and says she lost them. She gave me his slippers and said feel free to let him play in the mud with them. Again another head shaking moment. Personally I'd be embarrassed if I couldn't manage to carry out basic things like this on a regular basis not laugh it off as though it's no big deal. Everyone has a bad day but it's like it's not important to then so they don't give it their full attention.

[gravy_train]

I have a family that sounds similar. The child is perfectly healthy, is growing well, meeting all of his developmental milestones, etc. but every week there is a new 'crisis'. This child has been in my care for only about 6 months and has been to the Children's Hospital at least 6 times for the flu or a cold.
The real pain in the a$$ is that when the child actually did have an issue here that I was adamant mom and dad had to work to fix at home (not a crisis but a serious behavioural issue that was harming other children), they kind of brushed it off and claimed it never happened at home so it must be a daycare thing.
Drives me crazy!

[bright sparks]

I agree. I've never had a full-copter type parent, but I have one attachment-y type who will point out any little scratch or red mark her child has at the end of the day. She's never accusatory, in fact she'll say "oh I never even know how he gets these at home" or "these things happen." But she feels the need to mention it every.damn.time.

I think it's ok to get annoyed with certain things families do. We wouldn't like every single thing about everyone we worked with out of the house right? We can be professional despite our differences, right?

Exactly I love how you put that...professional despite our differences!!

[5 Little Monkeys]

weird! She just sounds like a "go with the flow" type of parent when it comes to dressing him then. Whatever floats your boat I guess lol