Behavior advice!

[Lee-Bee]

Hi Ladies.

My newest little guy his 4ths week now and he's 13months old. In the first week or so he was a screamer if I moved or put him down but he made remarkable progress and is now fully settled, he knows the routines, interacts with his peers (4 kiddos 14-17 months).

His only 'issue' is at the table if he is not the first to get his water cup or first to be set off to play after eating he freaks out and screams. I am looking for feedback as to whether I have too high of expectations for him. All my other kiddos quickly figured out they had to hang out a few minutes waiting for me to clean table and floors before they run off...they get their water cups at this time and they 'chat' with each and wait. They understand if I say "waiting patiently" and correct their behavior quickly.

This new little one just screams so loud he can't hear anything. I've tried the hand squeeze to tune him in but it doesn't help. It is really only after everyone's eaten. Am I correct to leave him screaming until he stops? This can be a good 5-10min. The others run off to play and I just finish cleaning the kitchen area while he screams away. I will say "when you stop screaming you can go play" a few times. I make sure to give positive reinforcement when he's being patient and I do the same for all the others.

I don't want to get in the habit of unbuckling him when he's screaming as this seems to be learned behavior that if I scream I get out of my chair and I want to curb that as they all stay at the table until the floor and table are cleaned (they are too young to send off they just come back and roll in it and rub their hands on the dirty table).

Are my expectations too high for a 13month old? Should I just leave him till last then let him go even if he's still screaming? I worry the others were all just to 'good' and learned the expectations quickly and that I am being to firm for the average 13month old.

[giraffe]

I would have him be last every time for everything until it stops.

[torontokids]

I think I would leave him as well as this is the expectation and he will learn. I would also talk to the parents and ask them to practice this at home (not take him out when he screams) and encourage him to use his words. I have taught many 12-13 mos olds to say "done." Maybe he could learn the sign for this instead.

[5 Little Monkeys]

I agree with the others...I don't think you are expecting too much. It might take him longer to "catch on" but he will get there.

[Lee-Bee]

I think I would leave him as well as this is the expectation and he will learn. I would also talk to the parents and ask them to practice this at home (not take him out when he screams) and encourage him to use his words. I have taught many 12-13 mos olds to say "done." Maybe he could learn the sign for this instead.

'All done' is next on my list of must teach words. I worked endlessly to get them to nod 'yes' and 'no' so we can communicate. Then we worked on 'more'. With all of them being so young and none of them actually talking much it takes us a bit longer to get rolling with the words!! But having them clearly nod yes or no and to say 'more' has made a world of difference! I feel like a broken record with how often I have to model these words for them!!

Sadly I don't know that teaching him these words will help much. He seems to feel he NEEDS to communicate by screeching. I suspect he has learned that this is the most effective way to express himself at home. He'll learn soon enough here I just wanted to confirm I wasn't being unreasonable in making him learn it quickly!!