I have an almost-4 (in July) year old dcg who I started about a month ago. The child is no where NEAR ready for kindergarten in the fall, and has a few other issues that I'm a bit concerned about.

She is excessively friendly and touchy-feely. To the point where it is not just annoying, but a safety hazard and an intrusion on others' space. She is CONSTANTLY petting, kissing, and stroking everyone, myself included. Literally, her hands are always all over someone else. She says hi to absolutely everyone we pass, and repeats it hysterically if they don't reply. She has now asked 3 separate neighbours of mine if they "have a baby in their belly," while rubbing her hands all over them. She seems to have zero concept of what "hands to yourself" means. I have to shadow her 24/7 just to give the other kids some space, as some, my youngest especially, really don't like being mauled to death. Then she'll just switch her affections on to me, and frankly, I don't like it either! I am annoying myself sounding like a broken record, saying things like "hands to yourself," "sometimes people don't like to be touched," "if he doesn't want a kiss then please don't kiss him," etc etc. The parents seem to think this is cute and have obviously never taught her what it means to respect other people's bodies and space. I'm a bit concerned over what's going to happen at school, because teachers obviously can't allow that, and she can't seem to stop herself.

She apparently had a lot of ear infections as an infant and because of this, her speech was delayed. The vocabulary has caught up but the pronunciation is very poor, and she doesn't get a lot of practice saying new words because she repeats the same few phrases constantly: "What's your name?" to everyone, myself included, millions of times a day, though she definitely knows everyone's name. That and "we going pick up the kids?" (meaning the school run we do twice a day, every day, to get the older kids). I have started telling her that I am not going to answer a question we both know she knows the answer to, and have told the kids that they don't have to constantly tell her their name again. Now they will say "you know my name," and then she answers her own question. I cannot for the life of me get her to stop doing this, or figure out why in the world she feels the need to ask, at least 20 times a day, every day, the same things.

She has the least developed attention span out of all my kids, even my youngest 18-month-old, and will not stay on any activity for more than a minute. She will not colour, only paint, and is more interested in globbing it all over her hands and body than she is about getting it on the paper. Concepts such as using stickers, gluing pompoms or felt shapes, etc, on to paper are completely beyond her. If I say something like, "let's draw some pink dots on our paper," she has no idea what I'm talking about, and will simply stare at me blankly. Obviously at 4, I don't expect them to sit there and follow steps perfectly to make some complicated craft, but I haven't been able to get her to focus at all at craft time, no matter the activity.

She has a strange habit of chewing on paper, which I've had to take out of her mouth numerous times, and last week started biting her own arm when my attention was distracted towards a round of diaper changes for the younger ones. Dad says she has done this when she's been told not to do something or is looking for attention. She also chews on sticks outside, and has had numerous time-outs for chewing sticks after I've repeatedly asked her not to.

The parents are not very chatty, seem unconcerned about her behaviour, and don't seem to realize that all of this isn't entirely normal. I have another dcg a month younger, and although it isn't exactly a fair comparison, as she is obviously quite bright, the difference is startling. My other girl will tell long, detailed stories if asked, for example, what she did this weekend, while first dcg seems incapable of answering a question that is not a yes or no answer. For example, "what did you do yesterday?" or "what did you have for dinner?" or "what sorts of things do you do with your mom and dad?" get completely random, if any, answers, like vaguely saying she likes carrots, or telling me she pushed her brother's head against the wall. I have yet to find out if the parents do anything with her or let the tv babysit her, or what she eats at home, or any personal habits or activities that she likes, or anything, because she simply doesn't seem to be able to answer questions that she has to actually think about.

I realize all kids develop at different rates, and she's not a defiant or aggressive child, but I'm honestly a little concerned about her cognitive abilities, and if she's at all ready for school next year. I'm not sure how to bring it up with the parents without sounding like I'm criticizing her, and I'm dreading this summer where I'll have a total of 5 older kids (my 2 are 4 and 6, dcb is 5, other dcg is 4) who are all able to follow directions, participate in crafts and science experiments, help measure and bake things, etc, and having to figure out what to do with her, since she essentially still acts like a very young toddler.

Anyone have any ideas?