I'm out of ideas and looking for some new ones

[fruitloop]

I have this 1 dcg(2.3years) who has been with me for a year. Her mom is a teacher so she was out all summer with the exception of 4 days in July and the last week in Aug. When dcg left in June, she was great, very well behaved, funny, lovable, playful, etc. When she came back from summer break she went through some separation anxiety and still is. I have tried everything I can think of to help her but nothing is working. It's like some switch was turned in her little head and we can't turn it off, it's so weird. She is now the oldest in d/c because the older kids have moved on and the next oldest 1 is dcg(19 months) whom she has known for a long time (parents know each other) so I don't know if this is playing a part in it or what. Dcg(2.3) doesn't want to do anything, all she wants to do is sit in a corner by herself away from everyone else and do nothing...just sits there. She cries/sobs on and off through the day for her parents and begs me for them. She has refused to eat here now...on day 3 of not eating here anymore, wants nothing to do with me or the other kids, doesn't want to play with toys...nothing! I have tried asking her what she wanted to do, I've tried inviting her for some 1 on 1 time or joining me and another dcg for a quiet story (because she will watch and show interest but won't join), I've tried making her play by sitting her in my corner where the little people toys are on her own and after awhile she will play but it's short lived and she's back to crying, I've tried ignoring her when she's in the "grumpy corner", etc. I'm at a loss with this kid and her parents are at a loss to what is going on here. They can't figure out why she's acting this way. I'm out of ideas and looking for some fresh ones to help dcg adjust back in. I know she is a great kid, I've seen it, and she was 1 of my favorites but I'm at my wits end here and don't know what else I can do to help her. Her parents say to just leave her in the corner if that's where she wants to be but man...if my kid were in d/c I wouldn't want them just sitting there doing nothing.

I have an older dcg(4) who is starting on Oct. 3 so I'm hoping that this will help snap her out of this otherwise I told mom that I will have no choice but to give them notice. It sucks because I know what this little girl is really like and the family is pretty good...very appreciative of what I do...so it will suck to have to term them but right now this little girl is sucking the life out of me and I can't have that. Dcmom completely understands and she is also hoping dcg snaps out of it because they like it here and they don't want to go anywhere else. So, anyone have any other ideas for me.

[momplus6]

I really have no idea that sounds hard!! Can use ask what type of activities she did at home over the summer? Does she have a favorite toy or blanket she can bring from home to have with her?

The eating? Do you serve milk or juice I would only serve water till she eats as she could be filling up on juice/milk. Are you serving new foods? Maybe check what she ate during the summer.

I think she is depressed she had mommy all summer and now she doesn't that must be so hard for little kids to understand? That is all I can think of oh if she is the oldest are the toys maybe to babish for her?

[fruitloop]

I don't allow toys from home. She won't even come to the table. She'd rather sit in the grumpy/quiet corner than eat or drink. I don't serve juice here...only water and only milk during lunch. She doesn't even know what we're having and she'll refuse it. I have toys that range in age from 12months - 5 years...the toys are not to babyish for her.

[playfelt]

She had two months of mommy's one on one attention and now she is just part of the group. I have one that just sits in the chair and waits to be picked up. His choice I gave up long ago. BUT... he comes to the table when we eat, he comes to the table when we do fine motor, he comes to the group - albeit a few feet back from circle when we do our lessons. Other than that freeplay is just that - they are free to play wherever.

It will take time and you might want to try the tough love version rather than trying to make it all better for her because that is a losing battle. Nothing you do is going to help only she can make herself happy. So physically take her to the table at mealtime and serve minute portions of all the foods and then walk away - do not talk to her, look at her or in any way engage her - all this does is causes a power struggle. If she sits there long enough she just might figure out she is hungry. In this case I would likely serve a cookie for dessert and give her one - less likely to refuse to eat. Once she gets the hang of doing stuff again she should come around.