I agree with Lee-Bee, you won't do any good trying to make a parent face something they are in denial of. I had a 4-yr-old dcb who I had to term because of extreme aggression issues, essentially making daycare unsafe for himself and the other children. I had him for a total of about 10 weeks, and spent most of that gently mentioning various issues that were so obvious to me it was painful, but the parents either brushed it off, became defensive, or turned it into something I was doing wrong/not doing, for example I would say how he had a really hard time getting his shoes and coat on with everyone else to go to school, how he would have a meltdown every morning, screaming and crying and thrashing, how I would have to literally carry him to school some mornings, etc, and all mom said was "oh, well, he likes to have a job to do. If you give him a job in the mornings he'll be fine." Of course, giving him "a job" did absolutely nothing.

I finally termed, which was especially awkward since we are neighbours, but I had no choice. I found out recently that he has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder, severe enough to get a full-time occupational therapist in the classroom with him. Apparently he is doing better, although I still see meltdowns outside frequently, but mom still acted like the diagnosis was a joke. I think in her case it will take multiple professionals to finally get her to actually accept it, and her son will be a whole lot better off once that happens.

I would inform the parents of behaviours that are unacceptable/not safe, and discuss together how to deal with them, but any mention of a "label" is just going to get them on the defensive. Better it come from the school than from daycare.