Am I crossing a line?

[Lou]

Is this pretty recent behaviour when you're referring to the other kids as well? Another thought is they are adjusting to spending long days outside in physical activity, and the tiredness is bringing out their inner drama queens.

[mickyc]

I personally don't allow that sort of behaviour (big outbursts/tantrum's). It is an immediate time out. Out of all the kids I have had over the last few years there was only one boy that gave me a run for my money! He would melt down over the silliest things. Instant time out and then he would have his tantrum in time out. He quickly learned that the longer he carried on the longer he sat in timeout. I also had to find other things that I could use - for example - he hated being last and if he happened to be last at something and threw a tantrum over it then he would be made to go last for the remainder of the day. He soon learned that his undesirable behaviour resulted in undesirable consequences. He was exhausting for the year I had him but I had to be consistent. He would give a big production when he would get picked up. It was ridiculous.

[torontokids]

The behaviour is more recent. The more I think about it, it started around the time I had an assistant start and I have been having challenges with how she doesn't really discipline. I have been considering letting her go. It is more an issue that her son comes with her and he has zero limits it seems.

The kids do go on time out when they have a tantrum. Fr this one DCG, it doesn't seem to bother her though. I will look for other currency to use with her.

[Secondtimearound]

I think you are not over the line !! I'm constantly trying to get dcks out the door without drama ! I have my backyard split into two sections , one is for me , grown up size definition not fun for a child and dayhome side , beautiful cedar playhouse with matching sandbox , chalkboard and water table . Everyone knows the rules , they stay on their side , which is super easy because my yard is L shaped only a little 7 ft passage seperates the play areas . Dcm comes and guess wherey dcg runs to ? Looking at me ? My assistant took her by the hand and told her no , but dcm just stood looking !!
This weekend I'm installing hooks on the outside of the fence all dc bags will be there , then as soon as mom pulls up , I'm escorting dcks out ! I'm getting tired of the" I'm not going " drama every night !
And in my dayhome entry , my dh just made pallet swinging gate , I couldn't find a gate long and hardy enough , so that I can bring dck to the door and keep the drama low then too !!
On a side note , had a parent play with their child in brand new cedar playhouse ,at pick up, we were inside because it was raining , the child broke the shutter and they left , no heads up !!! Day one of the play house !!!
So I had dh remove them , door is next !! Geez doesn't anyone play properly anymore ?!!!
Sorry getting back on topic , I'm not sure why parents think it's ok to stand chat at pick up ? Just because your off doesn't mean we are !!

[CrazyEight]

I had the same incredibly over-reacting behaviour with a previous dcg, almost 4 at the time. In this case, it became pretty clear that there were ZERO rules at home, and the meltdowns worked on her parents. She freaked, they gave in. She freaked here, she was put in time out, and she had no idea how to handle it. There's only so much we can do to teach appropriate behaviour if it all goes out the window at home. I kept at it for 6 months before I had to throw in the towel. Six months with meltdowns every other second, that would last for an hour quite easily, was just too much. Some parents just don't seem to realize that letting their child have everything they want the second they want it just to avoid a tantrum is TERRIBLE parenting and makes our job nearly impossible. I doubt my previous clients' new daycare will last much longer than I did. You may be in the same boat if the parents don't start actually parenting. Good luck!

[playandlearnhere]

Some kids are just very emotional. My two nieces are. One will cry at the smallest things with deep heartfelt sadness. The other bursts into angry fits very easily (getting better now that she's 4 though). I've watched since they were tiny and I think it's temperament. Mom has tried many different things, but all we can seem to do is teach them to handle these intense emotions in a more positive way. They just seem to react very strongly to things, by nature.

I think the best thing is just to re-direct and teach appropriate reactions. Hopefully over time she will learn to moderate her emotional reactions. Some girls can be emotionally more intense, but I think it's temperament more than gender.

[madmom]

Bravo to all the providers who stand up to the melting down kids at the door. If more parents had the same backbone life would be so much easier everyday. I have 2 brothers in my daycare that turn into horrid children the minute mom and dad come to pick up, so now they text me when they are 5ish minutes from my house, I get the 2 boys ready and we wait at the door to avoid the unpleasantness. I don't have to watch the parents begging the boys to get ready over and over and it goes much quicker to sweep them out the door (thank goodness cause we all know quitting time can't come soon enough)